Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal Wed, 20 Aug 2008 23:48:59 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/90376/1213253727.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/90376 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/1162429 Unfortunately, I had to quit the program on the eigth day because I was gaining weight and was already the biggest girl there, so I could not take it. I'm going to lose more weght first and then start the program again next summer. I just hated being slightly overweight in an ED group...it just ... Wed, 02 Jul 2008 12:06:23 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/1120660 Well...I've made it through a week of day treatment for eating disorders, and overall it has been a relatively positive experience. Eating all the food that they want me to eat is very hard though...I'm finding that part very difficult. It's therapy all day long so I'm qiute exausted... Fri, 13 Jun 2008 20:39:29 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/1106911 Well, I finally got the call on Monday and I will begin treatment this coming Monday. Now I'm so sressed out, I'm trying to find every excuse not to go. I'm feeling anxious and panicky and I'm not sure what to do about all this. But I HAVE TO DO IT and I will see it through. I... Sat, 07 Jun 2008 22:16:18 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/1086499 Unfortunately my blood pressure was way to low and I had to go to hospital. They took alot of blood and told me to eat more. So I did. Today I had three meals. I feel pretty crummy "ED" wise, but I have to do this otherwise I may lose my spot in tthe eating disorders program because I'... Thu, 29 May 2008 17:53:32 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/1077632 Things are continuing to go well. I'm continuing on the Ensure and eating one meal a day for now. I'm feeling so much better. It has made a real difference to not have a scale to depend on...to help me fuel this ED. I want to be well, for my husband and my beautiful children.The last thing I... Sun, 25 May 2008 22:03:45 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/1071479 Well, things are beginning to look up a little. My doctor has me on 4 Ensures a day if I'm not eating. If I eat a meal, then I don't need the Ensure. I'm feeling alot better, my dizzy spells have really diminished. My blood pressure is still really low, but it's slowly coming up. Hop... Thu, 22 May 2008 19:07:28 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/1052122 ED still has his long claws embedded deep in me. I'm really srtuggling with eating, and my lack of it is causing physical symptoms which I know could mean that my body has had enough. I can't stand being like this, I wish there was some magic cure, but as of now, one does not exist. I'm ... Wed, 14 May 2008 18:27:48 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/1040860 Well, I thought it was about time for another update, so here I am. Things have not changed so much...I'm still struggling with ED and my vitals are  poor. I'm waiting to get into the eating disorders program, which should start in a couple pf weeks. I'm FINALLY beginning to lose to... Fri, 09 May 2008 18:05:30 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/1005032 This has been quite a week. I was feeling so emotionally drained and my blood pressure once again was beginning to drop to dangerous levels. I began to realize that I DID NOT wamt to leave my kids without a mother...I didn't want to die...I want to live. I want to live life at it's fullest..... Thu, 24 Apr 2008 20:43:59 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/987301 I  seem to be struggling once again. I so badly want this eating disorder to dissapear...yet I can't seem to kick it in the butt. I'm eating some cereal in the morning and that's about it for the rest of the day. Today I had some oriental rice snacks...without even knowing the nutri... Thu, 17 Apr 2008 19:59:13 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/976448 My mood has been up and down this week, but I'm definitely not feeling as depressed as last week and I can usually make it through the day without being so weepy. I'm still struggling with eating but I'm eating alright...usually about 600-800 calories a day. I want to get better and yet ... Sun, 13 Apr 2008 20:28:45 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/958792 I've been a little better mood wise and I've been eating better as well. Unfortunately, I have put on some weight as I always do when I increase my intake by a little. This really bugs me, and I reallyu don't know what to do about it.What I do know is that I'm definitely going back t... Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:24:21 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/950148 Well, it's been awhile since I have written anything in my journal, but I figured that is was about time to start up again. Things were going relatively well until about 2 weeks ago when depression began setting again. I'm having alot of crying spells and my appetite is beginning to go down ... Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:56:15 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/872371 I'm feeling quite better pain wise today, after starting a new medication. But boy, am I ever nauseated! That's alright though...I'd rather be nauseated than have severe pain. I'm still considering weaning off all of them and trying a natural approach, but I'm very happy with my ... Tue, 04 Mar 2008 11:18:12 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/870149 Well, things are not much better. I'm still suffering with alot of pain and I'm so discouraged as to what to do to reduce my pain. I have been stuck in bed for awhile now because I can barely move. I can't figure out how to keep positive when I'm suffering all the time and feel so di... Mon, 03 Mar 2008 15:21:30 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/844602 Fri, 22 Feb 2008 19:25:21 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/844601 I'm still struggling with ALOT of pain. My doctor has changed my Percocet to Morphine, and it has made some difference. I did spent 3 days in bed this week and that makes me extremely frustrated. I'm just now coming to the realization that I'm probably going to be on disability for the r... Fri, 22 Feb 2008 19:24:58 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/816200 Today is another day filled with pain and agony. My doctor finally faxed in a prescription for my pain medication, but they don't seem to be working very well. I'm having so much pain that I can barely move. This is really beginning to drive me nuts. Luckily my husband is home and has been a... Tue, 12 Feb 2008 12:26:00 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/814985 I'm really struggling with wanting to restrict again...mainly because I can feel that I have gained some weight and can't stand the thought of it. It's actually making me more depressed....I don't know what to do now...Otherwise...things are going well. I'm quite happy caring for... Mon, 11 Feb 2008 23:33:12 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/90376/journal/811958 Well, it has been almost a week now since coming out of hospital, and things have been going relatively well. I'm happy to be home & taking care of the kids. They are all soooo clingy and drive me nuts sometimes, but I'm glad to be appreciated..lolI'm continuing to eat well...have no... Sun, 10 Feb 2008 22:40:58 +0100