Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal Thu, 21 Aug 2008 07:53:10 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/88838/1213262379.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/88838 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/681255 I can't help but be sad.   I thought i was moving on.  I just feel so alone, I know like many do.  I don't see it getting better.  Christmas, New Years.........I want so much to have answers as to why someone I loved so much could treat me like such shit.  ... Sun, 23 Dec 2007 04:45:00 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/515692 My wish for you STBX: One day i hope to recognize the man i use to love.  I hope he's not gone forever.  I hope he can be the father I have known him to be. I hope you can admit your faults and take your share of responsibility for what has gone down.  I hope that y... Wed, 10 Oct 2007 19:51:39 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/491589 I think i might have just moved on today.  If he were to walk in the door, and wanted to come back, I dont think it would happen.  I spent months crying and wishing he'd come back.  I spent a month angry and now I think that this month its been about letting go.  I'm... Mon, 01 Oct 2007 00:14:39 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/482163 I thought the man might wanna know how his sons blood work came back.  So 2 hours later I got a call.  "Yeah".......told him the info and I don't know why I bothered.  He doesn't care.  I asked him why he didn' t call to see the kids on Sat and he said ... Wed, 26 Sep 2007 23:33:34 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/472867 tell me i'm stupid.  tell me to snap into reality.  For some reason I have it in my head that when we hit the 6 month mark, something will change.  Will he come back???  or wil I have it in my  head that he's not!!  Or will I still be here???  (November)... Sun, 23 Sep 2007 13:23:45 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/471558 I feel like crap.  He didn't call so he could see the kids.  He told me within these past months that after our son was born he had post partem depression!!!!!  That he was happy but he felt like his life was on hold for another 5 years...........you know till we could leave him w... Sat, 22 Sep 2007 20:04:32 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/466316 So I had my session yesterday and It wasn't anything i haven't heard before, but i think that something might have clicked.  I just hope I keep it.  Sometimes I come to a conclusion and I loose it (if that makes any sense)........someimes i feel like my brain is on over load. ... Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:11:39 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/463294 i wanna call him but i'm not.  I wanna tell him again how i feel.......what i wish for.......i want to eat dinner as a family...........i wanna raise our kids together.........I wanna know why......how......wtf is he thinking??????I have therapy today.  I pray for peace, closure.......... Wed, 19 Sep 2007 11:49:19 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/459399 I'm listening to a tired baby whos fighting sleep.  He's crying but its bed time.  He just stopped.  :O)BUT i'm pissed.  Wheres my "partner in crime???"  Prob with his hussy, sleeping in late, staying up late, no middle of the night screams.  His l... Mon, 17 Sep 2007 21:36:26 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/455862 i find it amazing how this divorce is tearing me apart.  But i guess one needs to be stripped of the old to build the new.   my self esteem is in the negative, I doubt myself, I question EVERYTHING........i feel like my business is all out there for the knowing, the weirdest things ma... Sun, 16 Sep 2007 14:07:02 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/445223 the lawyer called today.  he wants to get me in the office to sign something so we can get him into court so that I can get money for the kids and for me.  I'm nervous.  i'm afraid that the judge is gonna see me as a lazy ass.  I'm a stay at home ma who takes one shoo... Tue, 11 Sep 2007 22:29:07 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/441912 PLEASE HELP ME TAKE POWER BACK!!!!!!I need help.  I don't know what i should be doing.  THere is absolutely no one in my life who knows where i'm coming from or what i'm going threw.  I've had to face and handle so much in these 4 months (something i know all of us her... Mon, 10 Sep 2007 18:17:04 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/437888 so thurs was his surgey, he made out ok.  Now he's just waiting on biopsy reports.  I texted him yesterday to find out how he was.  He wanted to know if I was Ok ...........I asked if he needed anything and i let him be.  His brothers where at the surgery and was SHE.... Sun, 09 Sep 2007 00:20:57 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/433269 my brother in law called me.  He went up to the hosp to see Him and she was there.  He is so mad at this brother.  He said that there was no substance to her, shes 24 but acted like she was 12.  She has no idea what she got herself into and didn't seem to know what the hell w... Fri, 07 Sep 2007 00:15:53 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/432215 so where did this strong woman go that was here this morning???  Shes gone and replaced by a hysterical, hurt, crying, pitty party me.  I was gonna go out to lunch with my sister and I was thinking about him today and I wanted to know who was driving him to the hosp and I had an idea, but ... Thu, 06 Sep 2007 16:31:26 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/431552 i had a busy day yesterday  My mother went on for knee surgery and I was at the hosp all day.  We knew about this for a month and I asked HIM to maybe take his vacation/sick keave early so that i could be at the hosp with ma and that he could spend the day with his kids.  RIGHT. ... Thu, 06 Sep 2007 11:34:19 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/428061 so he goes for surgery on Thursday and my sister in law  (his brothers wife) might go so someone will be there for him from the family (his brother is stil pissed and you know he's all alone, so he says)  He said that would be fine if she came but theres a chance SHE might be ther... Wed, 05 Sep 2007 00:20:44 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/424247 So I told the hubby if he wanted the kids....I was to go out on friday and i needed a sitter and then Monday our daughter is off of school.  UM WELL UM WELL..........friday he got home from work at 7pm (he didn't babysit) and Monday..........i work.  Its labor day..........and for the ... Mon, 03 Sep 2007 16:57:45 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/420233 i got a 10 minute notice today that he wanted to see the kids.  It was 2pm and we were getting ready to go out (they have a carnival over here).  So he shows up at the house and he talks to me like i'm a piece of shit.  He's doing his best, he's trying.  The one day... Sat, 01 Sep 2007 21:40:02 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/88838/journal/417703 i'm going out tonight to go see a movie that my hubby and I were waiting for.  Now I go alone.  Its gonna be hard, and when I get scared i'm not gonna have his arm to squeeze......but i think its important to do these things.  I think the more I do them the easier it will... Fri, 31 Aug 2007 19:06:17 +0100