Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal Sat, 06 Sep 2008 23:39:37 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/77430/1213247354.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/77430 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/1103234 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!I'm in such a crappy mood.   I keep seeing guys and they always end things with me for the same fucken reason.... "your to much drama, you've had too many guys, your a mess"..... so fucken what.... I'm not perfect but don't start anyt... Fri, 06 Jun 2008 02:30:05 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/1095850 I'm kinda happy and disappoint... i ate very little today!! I dunno whether to feel good or bad.. i feel more happy though!!! I know i shouldn't!!  I'm losing again.. i'm a mess!!  Today i smoked soo much.. i felt like puking... i feel so sick.. my stomach hurts!!!I feel hu... Tue, 03 Jun 2008 02:15:17 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/1067378 This is hard to say... "but i think i'm bi".."nooo i know i'm bi".. i mean i feel like i've always known.. but i've never really admitted it to myself... lately my "lesbo" side is stronger than my "str8" side..I've kissed girls and gone to ... Wed, 21 May 2008 03:18:51 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/1055746 I've been kinda depressed lately.  Too depressed to get online and write.  But i'm a bit better.  I can't help but feel cowish.  I feel so overweight.  I know i'm not overweight but i feel huge.  Schools going okay, I'm not doing so good.  I gue... Fri, 16 May 2008 01:03:09 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/989587 I feel tired and hungry!  My mom is suppose to bring me sushi soon!  Today I start a new class intro to philosphy.  I'm kinda excited!  First day's are always exciting!  I'm gonna put on a bit of make up and pretty myself up before class, nothing extreme but it... Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:45:54 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/973321 Things r okay.  I got a blister on my lip from the fever that is driving me crazy!!  But there are worst things so i'm trying not to complain too much!! The binging has reduce drastically, I'm freaken happy bout that! Yestaurday I had therapy and my therapist said I need to start s... Sat, 12 Apr 2008 13:07:31 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/962649 Yestaurday I had a fever and didn't eat all day.  Today i had a piece of toast so far... I'm soooo hungry but everything makes me nausous!  I don't really feel like writing my head hurts to much!! I'll talk later! Tue, 08 Apr 2008 17:51:42 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/924583 I haven't been doing too good... I never leave my house I feel trapped in my own body.... I feel so huge and trust me I AM!!!  I missed school again! I'm gonna go behind on my work.... I feel like maybe I should drop a class!  I dunno! I need to get my head back on and focus on get... Tue, 25 Mar 2008 00:17:26 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/919073 Things have been okay.  My new puppy has made my father and I closer at least for now.  He's always playing with him and is happy when around him!!  It's nice to see my dad in a good mood, but I know it won't last!  I have been okay, I guess!  My eating has been ... Sat, 22 Mar 2008 19:30:59 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/894507 Why are you bingeing?- I feel lonely, depressed, ugly, sad.  I feel like no one cares about me and I feel useless!Are you restricting? No, I try to but I just binge more so I stopped!Are you overexercising? No, I was but my knee got messed up so I stopped! Are you having anxiety? Yes, I'm s... Wed, 12 Mar 2008 20:30:00 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/892329 I cannot stop eating! I've gained 7 pounds in 2 weeks!! Wed, 12 Mar 2008 00:40:42 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/887000 It's 1 am and I feel like killing myself... my puppy is vomiting and has bad diarrhea, I'm getting so frustrated clean up his crap, it's every where!!  Also I can't concentrate( this isn't related to the dog, it's been going on for a while now) on my school work.  I... Mon, 10 Mar 2008 03:59:07 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/881739 Well.. things are a little better. I'm back on my meds YAY and I bought a puppy which is super cute!  My eating is still outta control!! I hate it!  But I really like my new psychiatrist she seems very nice and I really think she can help me.  I'm hopeful.. not happy but i... Fri, 07 Mar 2008 19:24:49 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/873249 My new psych. cancelled our appointment which lead me to major destruction!!  I went crazy, I binged & purged! Things are bad.  She didn't even give me a reason, just said " can't make it call you later"  What the fuck??  When am i gonna get my meds!?? My th... Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:04:47 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/870388 I'm so tired.. haven't been sleeping well!  Also, i've been binging alot... three days in a row now... my headaches are worse!!  My depression is at it's highest!! I can't wait to see my new psychiatrist tomorrow (yes i know i spelled it wrong)!!! Mon, 03 Mar 2008 16:56:00 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/865232 Binged last night had over 1500 calories in one sitting!!!!!  I feel like dying! Sat, 01 Mar 2008 14:46:15 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/863638 So far today was an okay day... I'm pretty content!!  I "let" myself have sushi.. I was kinda scared to eat it... the guilt was consuming me!! The things is I have to know how many calories are in everything... you can look up most restaurants nutrition info. online ( which i do, ... Fri, 29 Feb 2008 20:33:43 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/860262 My anxiety has gotten worse!!  I dunno whats wrong with me!! I've always been a great student but lately I just don't care!! Even when I was at my worst with my eating disorder I could always concentrate on my studies, but not lately!  I'm so stuck in my depression but I will t... Thu, 28 Feb 2008 15:24:38 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/854143 I've started restricting on Sunday and Monday because I was feeling flabby, I know that's not going to help gain muscle but I was just tired of eating. But today.. i binged.. a real binge I ate like 5 bowls of cereal, ravioli (which I don't really like), and peanut butter.  I feel l... Tue, 26 Feb 2008 13:20:10 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/77430/journal/847212 I ate sooo much chicken and veg. for dinner... I mean who binges on chicken and vegetables.... i'm so crazy!! And fat... i sicken myself.... I have no self control!! I eat a balanced meal and still binge... I'm a loser and failure and deserve to rot!! Sat, 23 Feb 2008 21:51:55 +0100