Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal Thu, 04 Dec 2008 01:18:52 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/49871/1213257247.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/49871 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/1320604 There is a support group for mental health sufferers in my area of London, Sutton run by all non medical inexperienced staff. I'm sure they mean well but their lack of understanding often puts very vulnerable people in danger as they tend to bully and push the members around. Instyead of he... Tue, 30 Sep 2008 13:21:28 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/1261710 I have so much difficulty facing losses of any kind. Finality brings grief and fear and I relive the loss of my dad all over again. I was 8 years old when he killed himself and, today, it hurts as much as it ever did. Sun, 24 Aug 2008 09:45:44 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/1225779 Well, just about ok. This is a tough and lonely condition to grow old with. Sun, 03 Aug 2008 15:34:51 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/403172 can do no more, no more Sun, 26 Aug 2007 17:56:25 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/380678 A nurse has been. Hospital or home treatment team. I opted for home. Oh and valium. I want somewhere to belong people to belong to. My god, what a pathetic lump of shit I really am . I must be to have absolutely no-one. Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:44:56 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/380423 I can't maintain friendships and I can't face the abandonment again. The children were laughing at me yesterday. As I asked June to leave, in my head I was begging her to stay. There's nowhere to go now and I have never been so alone and so afraid., I'm so sorry, I look around me and... Fri, 17 Aug 2007 09:35:31 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/380137 I had a brief yet terrifying moment of total clarity when I saw myself as others must see me. I hide, as I guess we all do to an extent by creating little triths about ourselves that protect us from ther grim reality of just how completely insignificant we really are. I am an aging freak, that's... Fri, 17 Aug 2007 06:05:28 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/370352 Slashed my legs with a razor yesyerday. Had to call 999 and was taken to hospital eventualy. First 6 policemen arrived and interogating me asking about weapons and drugs and searched the house. I have nevewr harmed anyone else or taken illegal drugs. Eventually yhey decided it was safe to call an am... Mon, 13 Aug 2007 12:50:51 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/360833 I have had a drink. Why?  Can't cope with the emptiness , the anger, yes the irritation has been constant and I can't cope any more. I think I am being over medicated because of the recent serious self harm incident. I don't say how bad I feel because if I try to it will be ignored ... Thu, 09 Aug 2007 09:41:36 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/328401 I've been so severely depressed for days now. Everything is such an effortI am at home alone all the time and I'm lonely. I don't make friends and do not have much family, just my brother and he is so very busy.I'm always so afraid of making people angry with me that I hide here in t... Thu, 26 Jul 2007 12:54:31 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/265800 I found the picture of the cat somewhere on the internet and just thought it was so very cute. Fri, 29 Jun 2007 15:28:29 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/260786 Had to resort to emergancy valium to get myself to yoga class. Not doing so good. I just seem to be in a constant state of terror, afraid of the demands of everyday life. I want a cacoon I can hide in so I can feel safe. I don't tell friends or even my nurse how bad I feel . I laugh and joke bec... Wed, 27 Jun 2007 13:00:39 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/222729 Walked with brother,his children and their labrador Max. Now home alone, lost, empty, sad. What has my life been? I try to tell myself I've had some good times but it isn't true. I've had bad times and tolerable times. I've had fleeting moments of happiness or sense of safety, yet al... Sun, 10 Jun 2007 09:42:19 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/207812 New meds are fuddling my brain and making me tired. What must all these pills be doing to me? Sun, 03 Jun 2007 06:24:10 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/199932 I saw my consultant today and he has prescribed PRN meds to help in a crisis. I will see him again in 6 weeks. The antidepressants have sent my blood pressure sky high and, rather than change them I must take more pills to lower my blood pressure. Wed, 30 May 2007 09:59:14 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/188465 I've sprained my ankle and am stuck at home. I normally prefer to remain alone at home but , I like it to be by choice as that puts me in control. Thu, 24 May 2007 11:42:38 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/170751 Oh I'm all mixed up today. I'm tense and irritable and I don't know why. I am in my terribly worried mood when it seems as though all I'm doing is waiting for the sky to fall in and my little safety bubble that I try to put around me so I can feel safe is about to burst. Tue, 15 May 2007 13:51:37 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/49871/journal/163523 This is my first journal entry. I was looking for extra support when I found 'daily strength' on the internet because I am recovering from a very serious self harm experience. It has really shaken me up. My self harming has always been a serious problem as I can hurt myself so very badly sometimes.H... Fri, 11 May 2007 04:24:51 +0100