Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal Thu, 04 Dec 2008 02:10:42 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/490/1213247853.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/490 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1408432 I am feeling really scared and paranoid today.  Are we going to do without food and be kicked out of our apt?  Rick is going to ask dad for money and I am pretty sure he will give it to us but if he doesn't I don't know what we will do.  LOA called yesterday and should let us ... Tue, 02 Dec 2008 12:37:03 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1407110 I feel like shit today.  I found out that I won't be getting as much money as I thought so now it won't even pay our rent.  I am sick of worrying about money.  I want away.  I want to go to Mom and Dad's but I know that won't help anything.  It would get me a... Mon, 01 Dec 2008 13:38:49 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1405694 I am starting to resent the fact that Rick is having problems and I know that just isn't fair.  He has been there for me all the time and I am trying to be there for him but with all of our money problems I just need to lose it for a bit.  I need to cut or take too many pills or both.... Sun, 30 Nov 2008 11:49:30 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1404723 My thanksgiving went well.  We had a lot to eat so you know it went well.  We will probably go home for Christmas.  Rick is having a hard time with his new meds.  They make him sleep all the time.  He needs to cut them down but keeps forgeting to.  Kodan is doing well.... Sat, 29 Nov 2008 12:15:52 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1397273 I am feeling some better today.  I feel a little more confident.  I don't know about tomorrow but for today it is good.  Ok at least.  I haven't seen much activity from my friends on ds but maybe soon.  If I remember I will wish them a Happy Thanksgiving.  I hav... Sun, 23 Nov 2008 11:31:24 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1396110 I am having a hard time again today.  I have been thinking of Danielle alot today and it hurts so much.  My heart is even hurting.  I miss her.  I miss not knowing who she could have been.  I have to go Monday and get my medicaid card.  It scares me and I don't know... Sat, 22 Nov 2008 12:05:16 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1394898 Not doing so well today.  I just want to leave and not come back home for awhile.  I just can't seem to get away from myself.  I don't have any money to go anywhere and  I also want to be home for Thanksgiving.  I just can't get away from the bad that is goi... Fri, 21 Nov 2008 12:29:22 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1393497 It is my 42nd bday and yesterday Rick got me season 7 of Friends.  Now I will have something to watch when there is nothing on tv.  I have 7 seasons now well actually 6 but I had 7.  But that is another story.  I am feeling somewhat better today.  Taking it better anyway.... Thu, 20 Nov 2008 12:31:58 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1390289 Two days before my bday and the cable will be cut off.  Happy fucking bday to me.  I made sure everyone else had a decent one but mine is full of stress.  That is the way it usually works for me.  It will probably be another month before Rick gets his long term and I don't kn... Tue, 18 Nov 2008 08:45:04 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1386578 Still so far so good.  I am feeling better than I have in awhile.  Kodan has been doing well and so has Rick.  I haven't been on the support groups because sometimes when I am doing good they bring me down.  I still check on my friends and see how they are doing if they aren... Sat, 15 Nov 2008 14:07:09 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1383584 I have gotten on ssi now so that will help with the bills. I am hoping my husband will hear something from his long term disability soon. Then I wouldn't have to worry about bills anymore.  My grandson is starting to say more words now and he just turned two so it was about time.  I kn... Thu, 13 Nov 2008 11:57:45 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1352607 It's another day again.  I am so tired and it is the same thing over and over.  I don't want sex which is very frustrating to my husband.  I hate bedtime cause I know what he wants to do and I just can't muster up the energy.  If there wasn't so much foreplay on h... Wed, 22 Oct 2008 08:44:46 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1347099 Haven't had my grandson for about 3 days now.  It has been peaceful but I do miss him.  I have caught up on some much needed sleep.  I still don't feel good though.  I just don't know what is wrong with me.  After this months bills we will have very little left t... Sat, 18 Oct 2008 09:19:48 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1338406 If my parents come this week then I will get a break from having to watch my granson for about 2 weeks.  I love him and will miss him but I need a break.  I need some rest really badly.  I feel a little down today and just don't know why.  I have gained a little weight but no... Sun, 12 Oct 2008 12:00:34 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1336978 Went for the table test and everything is fine.  My blood pressure is low.  Not enough for beta blocker.  I am going grocery shopping for the first time without my husband in forever.  I finally joined the sids support group.  I thought too much time has passed to be on that... Sat, 11 Oct 2008 08:51:17 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1335595 WEnt to my pdoc yesterday and he upped my abilify to 15mg from 5mg and my trazadone.  I still woke up once but went back to sleep.  Maybe I will not feel like hurting myself anymore with the new doseage. I have to go for a tilt table test today and I dread it so bad.  I hate going to ... Fri, 10 Oct 2008 08:40:32 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1332582 I am feeling much better now.  My pdoc raised my abilify to 10 mg.  We'll see if this is better.  Glad I didn't have to go to psychward.  My niece is in basic training now in the air force.  Hope she makes it ok and this war is over before she has to go.  Not mu... Wed, 08 Oct 2008 09:19:05 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1328282 I feel like shit today.  I really would like to spend a couple of days in the hospital.  I would like to make some of this stuff in my head to clear out.  I need some time away from here to try to not think about it anymore.  I just don't know what to do anymore.  I want... Sun, 05 Oct 2008 12:39:46 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1327061 I am so tired I need a break.  Not going to happen for at least 3 more days.    My mind is also tired.  I just don't know what to do with myself lately.  My patience is not what it needs to be right now.  I feel sorry for Kodan.  I don't hurt him but I am s... Sat, 04 Oct 2008 12:56:14 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/490/journal/1325704 I really need a break from babysitting my grandson.  I love him with all my heart but since this mom and him live here it seems I am always looking after him in some way or another.  Rachel is having money troubles and that is a never ending problem.  With Rick not being able to work ... Fri, 03 Oct 2008 12:21:16 +0100