Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal Thu, 04 Dec 2008 01:40:55 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/gallery/butterfly.gif http://dailystrength.org/people/46929 http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal/582957 A terrible end to a horrible few weeks.  I have to go by flowers today.  My friend had an ultrasound earlier this morning confirming the worst.  Her baby is gone.  I don't even know what to write, it's all a mixed up mess of sadness, anger, and horrible memories.  I ... Thu, 08 Nov 2007 11:34:47 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal/540694 I made such a fool of myself yesterday.  There I was holding my son, with my daughter and husband beside me ordering lunch, when an "innocent" comment had me on the brink of tears at a fast food restaurant.  (Granted I have been very emotional lately, which probably explains a lo... Sun, 21 Oct 2007 20:13:02 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal/536059 I got snapped back to "reality":  I recieved a frantic phone call this morning from my pregnant friend.  She was completely freaking out, she had started spotting.  (She's okay, ultrasound on Thursday to check everything.)  It put everything into perspective though.... Fri, 19 Oct 2007 13:38:59 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal/531533 I guess that's what I get for thinking that certain things don't "trigger" me anymore.  The last few days I have gone from blind rage to resentment then finally exsaustion.  I just don't have the stength to be angry anymore.  My friend called again today, the new... Wed, 17 Oct 2007 17:22:30 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal/519875 I don't get it.  I'm going along fine, doing reasonably well, and bam out of the blue all the old feelings come back again.  Truthfully, I know what set it off.  A close friend is pregnant, just newly.  She has struggled for a long time (4 years), I've been prayi... Fri, 12 Oct 2007 14:07:00 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal/481484 A close friend dropped by with her 4 month old baby.  OMG, my heart swelled!  He let me kiss and snuggle him to my hearts content.  My son was not a bit jealous, as he showed my friend all of his "treasures".   I just sat and held him, at one point my son... Wed, 26 Sep 2007 18:36:33 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal/470987 I am exshausted.  My daughter and I rearranged here bedroom to make room for here new bigger bed.  I found myself in tears remembering when she was so little and excited to get the "big girl bed" that is now way to small for her.  Where has the time gone?I so wish I could ju... Sat, 22 Sep 2007 14:18:49 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal/460580 It's such a beautifull day out.  I can't help but feel differently about things in my life.  I have written in a while, and for good reason.  Things have really settled down, I hope I have finally reached a place of acceptance.  I'm not so terrified anymore, worried a... Tue, 18 Sep 2007 10:33:24 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal/436203 I should have known better.  All those years of people saying the worst possible things to me after I lost my babies, should mean that I know the "right" thing to say to someone else.  I froze.  In a flood, my own experiences came rushing back to me, my eyes welled up, my he... Sat, 08 Sep 2007 07:18:51 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal/418752 I don't even know where to begin.  Those posts can be so upsetting to read.  It's not enough for someone to have an opinion and state how they feel, they have to rip their "opponents" (anyone feeling different than them) to shreads.  I feel sick.  I re... Sat, 01 Sep 2007 06:35:53 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal/405352 I took my daughter to get her hair cut, and ended up cutting off most of my hair (about 14 inches).  I decided it would mean more to someone through "Locks of Love", then it does to me.  It made me feel really good to do it.  It's amazing how doing something for someone ... Mon, 27 Aug 2007 13:16:47 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal/242492 I am a walking bruise right now!  I "decided" to keep busy to try to pull myself out of this slump I'm in.  Manual labour is excellent for keeping yourself occupied enough not to think, and tired enough to sleep at night.  I have been doing every odd job around the house... Tue, 19 Jun 2007 09:55:21 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal/234982 I'm still trying to smile.  Believe it or not, I do feel a bit better.  No miraculous recovery, but even a little better is alot better then where I was.    I hope everyone has a really good weekend. Fri, 15 Jun 2007 18:38:59 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal/231771 I'm trying something new today - smiling.  (Even if it's fake.)  And I don't mean just for my family, I mean when I'm alone in the house and I want to curl up in a ball and cry.  I keep waiting for someone or something to get me out of this hole I'm in, and I know ... Thu, 14 Jun 2007 10:03:11 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46929/journal/227391 I have visited so many times, but couldn't bring myself to write anything.  I am in a dark time in my life, and I am praying for the strength to make it through.  I pull myself together when I'm around my family, they don't know how bad it's gotten.  The only thought t... Tue, 12 Jun 2007 12:47:08 +0100