Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal Thu, 04 Dec 2008 01:48:32 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/46552/1225938119.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/46552 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/1379925 I have come to the concrete conclusion that I'm fucked up! But not fucked up, but fucked up with no sense of ever being repaired! I'm 25 and I still cut myself! What the fuck!!!!!!!! I have my daily ritual of cutting myself, I have everything there, I go to the supermarke... Tue, 11 Nov 2008 02:43:43 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/1372841 Its been a while since I logged onto DS..... The past few months have been a train wreck!  I got pregnant to my ex, which wasn't too much of a bad thing.  I stopped smoking and drinking, planning ahead for my pregnancy.  I miscarried at 17 weeks  I have financial problem... Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:26:36 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/1123204 So very, very down...... :( Sun, 15 Jun 2008 06:57:09 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/1067562 The feelings I have towards myself, towards other people just get worse!  My ex boyfriend and I broke up like 6 weeks ago or something, and I haven't seen him since we broke up, and he wants to be friends and everything and Im trying, but I dont know if I can do it.  We're going to... Wed, 21 May 2008 07:07:40 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/1031962 The knife lays there, next to my bed.  Its just too tempting. I have to cut.  Tue, 06 May 2008 06:42:53 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/1029425 It doesn't seem to change at all. :( I am going in for a biopsy tomorrow, as there are concerns I may have Cervical Cancer.  Im sooo scared about it.  Im freaking out big time. Im missing Mike heaps.  I haven't seen him since we broke up, even though he wants to be m... Mon, 05 May 2008 05:30:03 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/1010184 So things are pretty much the same at the moment.  Nothing has changed so that could be seen as a good thing, or a bad thing.  But at the moment, Im just seeing it as what it is, nothing. Binged lastnight, really angry with myself.  Then went out and got completely hammered, dont... Sun, 27 Apr 2008 04:37:54 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/1005588 So here I am, back here on DS.  What lead to it?  Breaking up with my boyfriend who I thought was the one!  I told him I had fallen for him, and bam, we're no longer together.  He has issues, he needs to deal with, and I just can not handle that! Im moving house tomorrow... Fri, 25 Apr 2008 01:19:09 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/1000286 I just binged!  Im falling back into the hole! Wed, 23 Apr 2008 02:46:02 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/1000157 I was doing well, but unfortunatley, my illness has consumed me once again! Lastnight I cut myself for the first time in months, I have hit a brick wall and fallen back to where I was!  Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:55:41 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/589035 Im still here, dont worry!  I have just been really slack with D/S as of late, and I apologise.  Well things are ok I guess.  Still not working, still not sleeping, still cutting every day and lastnight I had my first binge in ages!  Grrrrrrr!  I dont know why I did it I jus... Sun, 11 Nov 2007 06:32:36 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/501832 Well I have not written in here for a while.  Things are ok, about the same as always.  My meds have been increased in doseage now!  I see the therapist every Monday and will be starting the group sessions of DBT in 3 weeks now.  We have done all the preparation needed!  I a... Fri, 05 Oct 2007 00:38:55 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/407505 Ok so Tuesday night, Im watching the Lunar Eclipse that is happening!  Its quite cool.  So yesterday I had my psych appointment and a medication review.  My meds have all been upped in doseages and Clonazepam has replaced Lorazepam for the anxiety!  So that is ok, I guess.  ... Tue, 28 Aug 2007 05:46:07 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/401791 FUCK LIFE! Sun, 26 Aug 2007 01:24:06 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/391698 Well there is no part of my thighs or stomach that doesn't have cuts on it now!  I went a little bit mental lastnight, totally lost the plot!  Ended up walking along the road about 30 mins from my house!  I dont remember how I got there, I dont remember why I was there!  I ma... Tue, 21 Aug 2007 23:47:09 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/384448 Ended up  having a major fight with my sister and my mum today, so that fucked me off and left me feeling fucking awful!  Purged all day after my massive binge lastnight!  Cut myself up lastnight too!  Psychiatrist tomorrow, so hopefully that will allow me to feel a bit more normal! Sun, 19 Aug 2007 02:09:26 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/382464 Ok so its Saturday night, and Im sitting at home, I have the house to myself which is good but bad!  My paranoia gets really high when Im home by myself and I keep checking to see if the doors and windows are all locked up!  Its fucking awful!  Im sitting here, watching the Simpsons, ... Sat, 18 Aug 2007 03:06:25 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/377347 Another day gone!  The weather fit my mood perfectly today.  Cold and stormy!  I didn't do much, just sat around the house and watched the weather outside.  I did cut myself again today, quite badly, on my stomach this time as my legs are pretty messed up at the moment! ... Thu, 16 Aug 2007 01:58:09 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/374871 So Im still here, and I am finding myself asking the question "why" which I hate.  There is no real good reason as to why Im still here but I still find myself trying to find one!  I have cut myself today, 3 times and its only 9pm!  I binged lastnight, I ate so much I couldn... Wed, 15 Aug 2007 05:15:39 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/46552/journal/372047 Ok today was ok!  I managed to leave the house to go to a friends house for the afternoon!  We spent it outside on the deck in the warm winter sun!  It was nice, just having a coffee and a talk!  So there is a bit of good news, I left the house!  It took me 2 hours to leave ... Tue, 14 Aug 2007 00:38:59 +0100