Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal Wed, 03 Dec 2008 14:32:16 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/43061/1225994448.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/43061 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/564393 Despite the e-motive icon show me horribel (can't change it), I am in a good mood now. Yea!... I think...  I have learnt that a couple of indicators of going into a deep depression and suicide mode, is bad fatigue and loosing interest in doing what I like to do.  This pa... Wed, 31 Oct 2007 15:46:36 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/560174 Hi all, --- It has been a long time since I have written in my journal.   Since my "Suicide Sunday" and the following two weeks of day hospital,  I kinda got my needs for sharing and receiving support from the general populace of ds.  Today was a very good day.  I ... Mon, 29 Oct 2007 21:11:03 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/472285 It is so very wonderfully cool this early morning: 48 degrees Fahrenheit  / 8.9 degrees CelsiusPain, Pest and me are glad we are up on the terrace, safe from the night creatures... well except for the dark shadowy ones that swirl by.  Halloween is not too far now.Yesterday I wrote the... Sun, 23 Sep 2007 04:46:28 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/454907 "I am a most efficient typist; it is just that the keys on my keyboard keep moving around." :-)If you would like to learn to type even better, try sitting out on the terrace in the dark.  There is a little light from the screen, but really enough light to see the keys well.  As s... Sun, 16 Sep 2007 00:20:55 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/436226 For the several mornings we have very warm and super muggy ones.  I could not go biking because I cannot afford to sweat because of my dehydration problem.  This morning is beautiful.  I got out here on the terrace just in time to see the sun come up over the trees.  There is kin... Sat, 08 Sep 2007 07:45:15 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/433603 It is an awesome morning.  I can just see the thick wet air in the dark of the morning and out from my terrace.   It is about 77 degrees f / 25 c and at least 90% humidity, but with a saving wind that makes it dark warm windy eerie morning so cool! I have been want to say somethi... Fri, 07 Sep 2007 06:22:33 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/430872 Well, it is couple days after my son's arraignment hearing.  His mom is willing to help for a change.  She and her daughter inherited mom's grandma's property, which somewhere around $150,000.  She outta help being she is most responsible my son having such a corrupted emo... Thu, 06 Sep 2007 03:03:07 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/428334 It is 4:30 a.m. as I write this.  The neighborhood street lights show the heavy mugginess in the air.  All that I need is a bar of soap and a towel to take a bath it.  I wonder why I like the dark.  When I am biking through the wilderness hilly road out at the State park it also ... Wed, 05 Sep 2007 05:10:09 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/420803 I thought I should have wrote the following in my journal here instead in the depression forum... so now it is in both..._____Yesterday, after doing my heavy biking (bicycling) on my so nifty hybrid bike, I got home did my stretching exercises that is paramount for not being in the worst pain and on... Sun, 02 Sep 2007 06:28:59 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/414300 I am kinda playing hooky… only it is not as if I have a company, school, etc. to play hooky from.  I guess that I am playing hooky from myself.  A part of biking up to 41 very hilly miles an outing is a commitment.  I busted that commitment this morning.  It was / is beaut... Thu, 30 Aug 2007 14:10:41 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/404500 It is a very fine morning this morning before daylight.  Cool enough to go do my heavy duty biking.  I would not sweat much (can't afford to sweat).  Watch the sun come up while riding, see the dear, etc.  However, it seems my allotment of life energy has waned much.  Th... Mon, 27 Aug 2007 07:02:46 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/402225 I was much so close to killing myself a bit ago.  I posted about it in DS.  I go to the hospital three times a week for IV hydration infusion.  I nonchalantly told a nurse I was thinking about it because the worsening severe body pain that I have.  The nurse asked if I wanted to ... Sun, 26 Aug 2007 09:50:32 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/392136 Placid -- Peace...Is there any difference… I am not sure if I am at peace or placid. Much goes on in our brains before we form a thought or idea… kinda wordless, unconscious configuring. Dichotomy I am. Highly emotional… Highly logical. Most of my first 50 or so years I hav... Wed, 22 Aug 2007 06:23:42 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/391142 Placid --- Peace... Is there any difference… I am not sure if I am at peace or placid. Much goes on in our brains before we form a thought or idea… kinda wordless, unconscious configuring pre-thought. Dichotomy I am. Highly emotional… Highly logical. Most of my first 50 or so ye... Tue, 21 Aug 2007 19:42:37 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/391134 Is there any difference… I am not sure if I am at peace or placid. Much goes on in our brains before we form a thought or idea… kinda wordless, unconscious configuring pre-thought. Dichotomy I am. Highly emotional… Highly logical. Most of my first 50 or so years I have lived in ... Tue, 21 Aug 2007 19:40:27 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/386934 This morning I been having fleeting moments of feeling okay to very good, then I have longer moments of feeling wrong.  When a kid, I was made to feel and think I am wrong… as I got older I starting doing the 'self-fulfilling prophecy" thing. I was doing a lot of wrong things an... Mon, 20 Aug 2007 07:53:54 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/384643 Hi, I am out the terrace again.  It just stopped raining a medium steady rain.  The long parking car port with it long mettle roof played a loud medley like many steel garbage can tops being hit by rain at once.  The crickets are very loud in their signing.  I wonder if that is t... Sun, 19 Aug 2007 07:27:03 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/382606 I do not think that the word 'funk' is used much anymore.  That describes how I have felt for the last couple of days… "a very deep funk."    A few years ago I was diagnosed to have 'life fatigue'.   Well, I had both life and medical con... Sat, 18 Aug 2007 07:08:33 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/377667 I am getting sick and tired of waking up to the day in pain.  When the weather permits me to be able to get up prep, head for the park, and ride, ride, & ride... my bike, I am okay, or more okay anyway, with my pain.  When it is warm and so humid at 4:00 a.m. I cannot go.   I... Thu, 16 Aug 2007 07:58:17 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/43061/journal/369727 Hi all, I am out on the terrace at 7:00 a.m.   After many day of not being able to do so (weather)I have been biking the past two days.  I just could not get up early this morning to go again.  My recent deep depression bout was deepened withot my bike riding.  There ar... Mon, 13 Aug 2007 07:50:06 +0100