Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal Sun, 07 Sep 2008 00:19:12 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/243538/1213247943.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/243538 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1182658 ive been a bit of a slacker lately. shift change is coming up and i had to go on a hot date...dont get your panties in a bunch. my son and i were celebrating his 13th birthday!  yaaay! well, not really. im not ready to be the mother of a teenager. i was a huge dork until i turned 17 and then al... Fri, 11 Jul 2008 19:40:24 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1169224 Im not really sure what Matt was trying to accomplish unless he is trying to drive me mad. I had a funny feeling he would pull some shit like this as soon as I got on my feet. I am trying not to read too much into it or into his motives but it is all so aggrivating! How dare he abando... Sat, 05 Jul 2008 18:27:51 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1167302 so im not really sure if my new friend is going to be a problem or a big help. i can tell that he and i are a lot alike and we are screwed up in a lot of the same ways. that makes me feel less alone. sometimes i can see his distructive behavior before i see it in myself. im worried though. neither o... Fri, 04 Jul 2008 15:04:21 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1160956 i let him have it a little bit...again. stupid pickle sniffer deserved it this time. i asked him a question about the demise of our relationship and he freaked out, saying that our marriage was broken beyond repair and i should just accept it. good thing it was a text so he couldnt hear me laughing.... Tue, 01 Jul 2008 21:39:09 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1160308 so i seem to be stuck. i opened my big mouth to matt and i havent heard anything out of him about it. maybe that is a blessing in disguise. it irks me that he doesnt have the decency to finish things with me. its almost as if he is afraid to talk to me. i dont know if he feels guilty or if he is afr... Tue, 01 Jul 2008 15:44:33 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1151953 i told him exactly how i feel. i wish now that i hadnt. he sounded like he was thinking about getting back together. he knows im not allowed to refuse. damn. i should have kept my yapper shut. i am NOT accepting an resposibility for giving up because i didnt.  i hate that he left but i dont wan... Fri, 27 Jun 2008 16:02:54 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1145474 so mister wonderful sent me a freakishly nice text yesterday. said he hoped i was having a nice evening and the kids were behaving well for me. im not really sure what that was supposed to mean except that there seemed to be more to it than that. im not sure if he is feeling like a royal weenie... Tue, 24 Jun 2008 22:03:01 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1139711 I went on my first outing yesterday since Matt left.  After all, running errands doesn't count.  All I did was take the kids to see Dad's new place (on the golf course!).  It seems like such a small thing but it felt like a huge step.  I even wore a dress.  I shit yo... Sun, 22 Jun 2008 13:29:05 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1135469 my ex and i work for the same county in different buildings.  he has been playing the victim and trying very hard to ruin my reputation and make me look like a cheating, psycho, money hungry bee-otch.  today a coworker asked to borrow my compuer for a sec.  i walked away to give him p... Fri, 20 Jun 2008 11:41:40 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1133378 He is seriously out there.  If he ever had a grip on reality it is now gone.  He just called and asked if the kids and I had plans tonight.  We do.  He said he found something fun for us to do.  I said thanks but no thanks.  We are booked.  I am volunteering at a c... Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:54:27 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1131755 so it occured to me...I'm always telling people that emotions are stupid.  They are meant to be enjoyed but they aren't there to make major decisions in out lives.  Makes perfect sense, right?  I was also remembering the jokes about how all men think with their penises.  ... Wed, 18 Jun 2008 20:09:56 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1122240 I swear, I will never again lose an opportunity to keep my mouth shut.  A coworker of mine just had a bout of word vomit all over me!  I'm sure she didn't mean any harm.  She worked with my stbx the other day.  I guess he went on and on about his new place and how wonderf... Sat, 14 Jun 2008 17:39:13 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1120537 I am really comfortable where I am right now.  Maybe too much.  Cheating turdboy (I say that out of love) pays me child support on time.  It is much less than what we figured, but I get it without a fight and it is better than nothing.  He moved out so I have my in... Fri, 13 Jun 2008 19:27:29 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1118090 I put off reading the above titled book for a looooong time.  My divorce counselor (previously our marriage counselor) recommended it but the title was so whiney and goofy that I didn't want to read it.  I thought it was beneath me.  When I got over myself and read the darn thing,... Thu, 12 Jun 2008 18:40:46 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1107710 I feel so stupid.  I make living by reading people’s emotions and it is a rare thing for me to be wrong anymore.  Yet my husband pulled the wool over my eyes for years.  It was right under my nose the whole time.  I should have been able to trust him but I am a smart girl a... Sun, 08 Jun 2008 11:05:49 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1105987 The more silence I get from Matt, the more I realize that it is really over for him.  I always thought a good wife would keep a marriage together no matter what.  Now I think that is just plain stupid.  I can’t be married without him.  This sucks bawls.  Damn!  No... Sat, 07 Jun 2008 11:44:43 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1103845 It's my Monday.  Ugh.  My brain hurts.  I am tired of thinking about new and exciting ways of rewarding myself.  I am tired of self help books.  I am going to work out today in hopes that it will give me some energy.  I don't really want a social life yet.... Fri, 06 Jun 2008 11:12:12 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1102011 So...I think I'm just spinning my wheels.  Every part of my life is just grand except for the divorce looming on the horizon.  I am so proud of myself because I am managing my household better than I ever thought I could.  My career is just peachy and the kids are great.  I h... Thu, 05 Jun 2008 15:28:08 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1090407 I think I understand something about our relationship that I never did before...It sounds so corny.  I'm like a 100 watt bulb.  I'm bright, I'm a social butterfly.  I have friends and I like to be around people.  He is more like a night light.  I don't t... Sat, 31 May 2008 13:53:30 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/243538/journal/1044912 This is probably going to sound silly, but I am very hurt that the stupid little fuckt@rd has done NOTHING for mother's day.  He didn't even call to remind the kids to make me a card.  Dang.  Now I ruined my goal for the day by calling him a dirty name.  I am proud o... Sun, 11 May 2008 19:38:57 +0100