Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:55:17 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/232328/1213247083.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/232328 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1067557 I've been going to the gym and it's hard work!! My legs ache so much. My friend got me on this revolting hill climbing machine. She did 35 minutes on level 8. I did 5 minutes on level 1 and nearly threw up!!! I'm soooooo unfit.There's quite a lot of older people at the gym which I th... Wed, 21 May 2008 07:01:34 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1066003 I'm not putting much here today because I don't want to tempt fate!I think things are getting a little better - probably because my doctor doubled my meds!!!I'm going to change my face and I hope that that isn't a bad omen!!xxx Tue, 20 May 2008 14:43:23 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1060909 I'm not going to write much here today. I think today has been OK.My doctor increased my tablets a couple of days ago and I'm hoping that they're starting to kick in now. I didn't feel too bad when I woke up this morning. Not as anxious and panicky as usual. I'm hoping that tomor... Sun, 18 May 2008 12:45:13 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1055959 I had an OK day yesterday and I felt fine when I went to bed but, yet again, when I wake up I feel down again. The knot is back in my stomach and I feel anxious. Why are the mornings so hard? I really hate that.I'm going to see my doctor this morning so maybe she'll have some ideas. Then I... Fri, 16 May 2008 04:30:56 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1051281 I didn't write in my journal yesterday. I had so many messages from DS friends and hugs that I was too busy sending messages and I forgot.I think the last couple of days have been ok. I have felt anxious, especially in the morning and I still feel depressed but that overwhelming sadness has subs... Wed, 14 May 2008 11:32:29 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1045822 I can tell it's going to be a bad day from he second I wake up. If I have that knot in my stomach then I know it's going to be bad.I really don't know what to say on here today that I haven't already said. I feel so sad and alone and I don't want to feel like this any more.I have... Mon, 12 May 2008 07:12:07 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1043875 I found out this morning that my husbands 'bitch' has been talking about me. Somebody who 'she' knows is a friend of mine, only 'she' doesn't know that and was overheard saying some nasty things about me.My husband wouldn't believe me if I told him. ... Sun, 11 May 2008 09:18:31 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1043651 Well - it's my birthday.I got cards and a lovely necklace from my children - I ;ove them so much! A couple of my friends have emailed me to say happy birthday which is nice.I woke up really early, as usual, this morning but I felt ok, not the gloomy depression I usually feel when I wake up. The ... Sun, 11 May 2008 04:14:49 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1042164 Well it's another new day. Again I don't know how I feel. I think I feel ok but I know all to well that it could all change very quickly.This morning was so hard. I had to take my daughter to my nieces birthday party. I knew that my husbands parents would be there and his sister and brother-... Sat, 10 May 2008 11:01:53 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1040344 I have thought to myself many times 'how would I feel if my husband had died rather than left me' and my answer right now is that I would feel better than I do now. I would feel better because I'd know that he hadn't left me for somebody else, he left be... Fri, 09 May 2008 13:59:19 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1039793 I don't know how I feel today. I think I feel a bit numb. I was okish this morning but I got upset when my daughter cried when I dropped her off at school.My head has been full of images today. Him with her, his van parked at her house and not ours, the empty drawers and wardrobe. That makes me ... Fri, 09 May 2008 10:03:41 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1037385 I'm not sure how I feel today. I was very tearful this morning. As soon as I had dropped my daughter at school I started blubbing. I came home and listened to a hypnotherapy CD on beating depression. I'm not sure it helped but I'll try it again soon.I went to the gym this morning. That w... Thu, 08 May 2008 10:12:09 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1034467 Well it's yet another day. The sun is shining, it's lovely and warm and I'm hiding away in the house feeling lonely and depressed  for yet another day. Why can't I snap myself out of this misery? I don't understand how I can feel so low when I just want to be happy.I don... Wed, 07 May 2008 05:58:15 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1031971 I feel like I'm going backwards. I'm so sad and depressed I don't even want to get dressed. My 6 year old daughter is off school today as she is having trouble sleeping too. I didn't realise she had been so effected by this mess.Surely the meds should have started to make me feel bet... Tue, 06 May 2008 06:52:37 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1030799 Today has been a waste of a day. I felt depressed, sad and lonely the whole day.My husband said he would ring this evening to see how we were and he didn't bother.He hasn't even bothered to find out how our son got on in his cricket match today - the match my son desperately wanted him to go... Mon, 05 May 2008 17:40:58 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1029467 I hate the mornings. It's always harder in the mornings and I just don't want to get out of bed. I just want to sleep forever so that I don't have to deal with this any more.I wish I knew what I had done to deserve this. Mon, 05 May 2008 06:45:03 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1027432 Feeling really bad now. My husband has gone off for the weekend with 'the thing' and he was supposed to be here to take our son to a cricket match. Our son is really upset, and so am I, but he just doesn't care. His weekend is more important than his own child. He doesn't deserve to ... Sun, 04 May 2008 08:05:25 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1027373 I'm trying to get out of the house more but it's the only place I feel comfortable - when I'm with my children.Still feeling down and tired and I'm fed up of waiting for the fog to lift.I'm trying to be strong for my kids but everyday is so hard. Sun, 04 May 2008 06:50:46 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1025502 Still having a bad day. My ex husband came round this morning and he's being really nice and supportive at the moment. I don't know why because I'm getting on my own nerves with the constant crying and wailing! I'm going to have a couple of hours out with some of my friends later if ... Sat, 03 May 2008 08:54:03 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/232328/journal/1025307 Another down day today by the looks of things. I didn't sleep well last night and I've got a big knot in my stomach that feels like it's going to explode.I have no idea what to do to make myself feel better. Sat, 03 May 2008 04:41:49 +0100