Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:50:09 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/gallery/wom_02.gif http://dailystrength.org/people/222769 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/1242162 So I have been struggling with my relationship with God recently.  So I thought that I would change the way that I pray,, I have been praying for God's will an dnot my own.  I need peace and it just occurred to me how selfish I have been in not praying for God's will to be done.... Tue, 12 Aug 2008 17:25:26 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/1127982 zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzMy life feels like it is spinning out of control and I cannot stop it.  I feel overwhelmed with my family. friends, marriage and life.  We are so broke and we were late on our rent this month.  We have never been late and it was embarress... Tue, 17 Jun 2008 09:45:45 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/1127293 dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddMy family I know has been the focus of a great deal of my journal entries.  I hate how my family seems to create drama for themselves.  They just can't let things go.  They nag and harp on and on how they were the victum and the other... Tue, 17 Jun 2008 00:11:24 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/1118450 It is been a while since I have written in my journal.  I miss this.  Since I am visiting family in Baltimore I feel I have lost my routine.  I need to get back to one.  I miss going to church, reading my bible, praying, meditating, going to my AA meetings.  I miss hanging o... Thu, 12 Jun 2008 21:47:23 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/1094018 I am still visiting my family in Baltimore.  I miss my husband who had to stay and work.  I wish he was here and I can't wait till he can come visit me.  My family needs so much that I forget to rely on a higher power and let him take care of them because they really burn me out.... Mon, 02 Jun 2008 10:31:57 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/1066141 My family is great.  I like them but it is hard to be around when they argue and fight.  They start the most stupid arguements with each other.  There is no respect of boundaries and they say the meanest things to each other.  My sister wants me to move to Baltimore but I like th... Tue, 20 May 2008 15:37:35 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/1057625 It is hard to around family sometimes because there are many buttons to be pushed.  It is funny how that happens to us.  My husband couldn't come because he is working.  I miss him a great deal.. My mom and sister are crazy.  It is hard to not be in your own home because you ... Fri, 16 May 2008 19:43:49 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/1046178 I am going to Baltimore tommorrow to see my family.  I am happy and anxious at the same time.  It is exciting but they have caused me a great deal of pain.  I want to have a relationship with them but it is hard at the same time.  I want to be friends with them.  I am afraid... Mon, 12 May 2008 10:17:44 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/1029800 I am grateful that I have a supportive husband who is helping me through my struggle with addiction and my mental illness.  I am glad that he is there for me.  I am grateful for my family who is supportive and also his family has been great as well.  I am so lucky that we have friends... Mon, 05 May 2008 10:00:47 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/1018974 55 days ago I tried to commit suicide.  I am so grateful that I am alive and that my husband, family and friends have been a big support to me.  They have been so loving and understanding.  I am so blessed and lucky that they have loved me so much.  I am so spoiled!  I hope ... Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:01:10 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/1003531 I think that it is hard to admit when we are wrong.  Also I feel it is hard to admit that someone has wronged us.  It put us into a vulnerable position and makes us feel weak and powerless.  I have done a lot of crappy stuff recently.  The guilt and shame is hard.  That is n... Thu, 24 Apr 2008 09:26:35 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/1002560 My family is flat out crazy.  They lie and cheat when it suits them.  They manipulate the situation and try guilt trips.  By the way did I mention that this is who I am? Oh yeah we are absolute control freaks of nature.  I love them but they can drive me to drink if I let them.... Wed, 23 Apr 2008 22:30:34 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/1001041 It is hard to live each day; day by day.  It is hard to take things slowly in such a fast paced world.  I feel like I am getting older and I need to be something better.  I feel that I need to hurry up so that I can be a better person so that I can have kids and be a better parent tha... Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:14:27 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/998348 I am so into a self pity mood.  I can't believe sometimes the bad things that I have done.  I want to change into a better person and be healthy.  It is so hard to change.  I feel overwhelmed and confused.  I feel I don't have the strength to fully recover let alone ... Tue, 22 Apr 2008 11:45:15 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/995539  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the cost of being sick.  My husband and I are living off his income right now and I feel overwhelmed because I do not feel I can go back to work right now.. It is hard on our marriage and I feel inadequate because I want to be a good wife to him and to catc... Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:25:21 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/994094 Child Lost At fifteen this kid face time,he's too young to dietoo young to be carrying this burden.  His parents were silent, didn't tell him about sex and drugs except when he is in an ambulencelying on the stretcher seizing fromhis drug overdose. His parents though this coul... Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:04:44 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/992977 Well, I am in the mood not to do anything.  I do not want to be around people today or anything like that.  All I want to do is sit at home and sleep.  Anyone else having weird dreams.  Man these dreams are freaking me out.  I am not pregnant but I had a dream I was.  A... Sun, 20 Apr 2008 09:38:11 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/990884 People are holding onto resentment are only hurting themselves.  I know that some of the people in my groups that I go to really struggle with not acting out in retaliation and they think that they are hurting the people who hurt them but they are really hurting themselves because those people ... Sat, 19 Apr 2008 08:55:39 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/989452 My therapist thinks that I have bipolar disorder. I am in individual counciling now and it is great.  I am glad to have some sort of treatment plan.  I am also glad to see some hope at the end of the tunnel.  I hope that this will help me get to work and I hope to find a new job soon. Fri, 18 Apr 2008 16:48:18 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/222769/journal/988673 I feel like I manipulate a lot of people with my illness.  I am sick that is for sure but I feel that I use my illness to obtain attention from people and to get things.  I am trying to work on this because it is not healthy for me or those that I care about.  I want to be a normal pe... Fri, 18 Apr 2008 10:48:06 +0100