Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/180718/journal Thu, 04 Dec 2008 18:42:59 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/180718/1213248517.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/180718 http://dailystrength.org/people/180718/journal/1242448   Guilt is my burden,thou I think it unjustly so.  I feel that they all don't know.  This pain I feel inside my gut.  I want to cry, I just cant, but... I feel this burden way inside.  I drag it down so it can hide.  In places that are so very deep.  Lock away ... Tue, 12 Aug 2008 20:32:11 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/180718/journal/1223516   There is the fear inside me.  It is trying to consume me.  It is like a flame that sometimes falters then in a moment it roars to life.  Fire that licks stiffled air surrounding it.  It feeds,and grows,and consumes me, my thoughts, my mind.  I must be responsible for ... Sat, 02 Aug 2008 00:54:06 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/180718/journal/927669 I still started back on the soda's with caffien, I try to drinka tall glass of water on waking making that the first thing  I do to begin my day Wed, 26 Mar 2008 05:08:22 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/180718/journal/889775    Who will want me once I am gone from this life and on to a new one?Will I still have any of my sparkle and shine, or will I be worn and faded from the struggle to survive divorce,depression, and desertion.   Who will want me then?\\   When i want to take off my perfe... Tue, 11 Mar 2008 03:38:02 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/180718/journal/847875 Right now it is one minute till four in the morning.  I am laying here in bed listening to the raindrops pound down upon the earth. The sound sooths me.  Splashes that make musical notes,and the spatters of drum call. Wind blows out a symphony,pleasing to my ears.  I dream Sun, 24 Feb 2008 07:08:40 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/180718/journal/809170 Sat, 09 Feb 2008 19:51:05 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/180718/journal/801153 Well, I've done it again.  I am going in a cirle it seems. I sleep most of the day.  For that, I feel bad. I feel lazy,weak,and dumb.  I guess the word, "loser" would sum it up.  Now, these are the thoughts that really go through my mind.  Of course, I don'... Wed, 06 Feb 2008 17:41:22 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/180718/journal/799323 I got up early and did a set ot Tai Chi. Wed, 06 Feb 2008 01:20:47 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/180718/journal/793343   I surfed the net. Anxiety clinging to me like great wieghts. Heavy, pulling, in my gut. I feel abandoned, rejected, unwanted.  I need closer.  I hold on to my husband like i would lose my breath if i let go.  Divorce is trecherous. He tells me to stay.  He is sorry for wha... Mon, 04 Feb 2008 00:14:43 +0100