Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal Thu, 04 Dec 2008 18:49:41 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/170957/1213248354.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/170957 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1399491 I am in a much better place this week.  I feel like my grief is in a manageable place.  I have been praying and meditating lots and finding that gives me much needed peace.  I ovulated again this weekend, but dh and I decided to wait 1 more month before we ttc again.  I am actual... Mon, 24 Nov 2008 23:56:49 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1388397 I am so ready to move past all of this sadness, but sometimes it creeps back on me anyway.  Some of you may know that a close friend of mine is due to have a baby the week before Lia's due date.  I went to her baby shower on Saturday.  Suffice it to say it was much more difficult ... Sun, 16 Nov 2008 22:17:44 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1378244 The service for Lia was beautiful.  Our pastor is so incredibly supportive... I feel truly blessed to have had her here to walk through this journey with me.  I cried during the service and felt totally drained... and then I couldn't bring myself to scatter the ashes.  I guess I w... Sun, 09 Nov 2008 22:14:20 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1376160 I guess it's been a while since I updated my journal.  I am waiting for AF to arrive again tomorrow-- this time it's much less stressful since we haven't been ttc.  Still, it makes me a bit sad NOT to be trying, but I just think I need a little more time.  Tomorrow is the ... Sat, 08 Nov 2008 09:10:51 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1359376 I made it through the weekend and even caught up on some sleep!  We went to a family Halloween party at our health club on Saturday night.  They had pizza and activities for the kids (including a spooky house and moon bouncer) and the night ended with swimming in the pool.  Well, it w... Mon, 27 Oct 2008 09:19:42 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1356009 I am dead tired this week-- I have not been sleeping well and it has caught up with me.  I don't remember if I have written about this before, but my dh was injured at work the day before we found out Lia had died (August 7).  He works in a psychiatric hospital and was assaulted pretty... Fri, 24 Oct 2008 15:19:24 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1347867 Af is finally gone :) My in-laws came over tonight to celebrate my son's birthday. I was really pleased with the way everything came out. And now my house is clean so that's a bonus too :)  I am gearing up to ttc... I figure I have about another week before I ovulate.  I have de... Sat, 18 Oct 2008 21:49:27 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1340652 AF finally arrived.  I don't know how people with irregular cycles cope... this being late thing was messing with my mind.  I knew I wasn't pregnant and yet... with no AF, I still had hope.  Anyway, I feel hopeful now-- it's the first time I have really felt like AF is a b... Mon, 13 Oct 2008 21:47:56 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1337508 Af is still not here.  My body just feels out of whack.  I have felt this mild cramping for like 2 weeks now and now I am so tired... feels like I almost have the flu.  I am frustrated because I am afraid this will mean my body is still not ready to conceive this next cycle.  I f... Sat, 11 Oct 2008 16:54:18 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1334429 Well, AF did not arrive this morning as expected and now I don't even feel like it's about to come.  I am so annoyed... I took another pregnancy test today which was another bfn so I am sure my cycle is probably out of whack.  It's the first time I can remember really wanting A... Thu, 09 Oct 2008 12:44:33 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1329698 Well, it was a BFN.  Surprisingly I am ok with it.  AF is not due until Thursday so I haven't totally given up on this cycle, but I am starting to feel like AF is coming.  I went back to the dr. to have more bloodwork done and figure out where to go next.  She does not want t... Mon, 06 Oct 2008 12:25:37 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1327258 Every day that goes by makes me think more that I am pregnant.  I just feel like I am.  And then with that brief spotting last Tuesday, it seemed like implantation bleeding.  I am so afraid of being devastated if I get a bfn.  I think I will test Monday morning even though it wil... Sat, 04 Oct 2008 16:05:16 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1324655 Ok, so maybe I am a little crazy.  On Tues, I had a little cramping and spotting and I was sure AF came (even though it's not due until next week).  It never arrived.  Now, all I can think is maybe it was implantation bleeding.  I know I am hoping against hope, but I really w... Thu, 02 Oct 2008 19:07:07 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1318773 I had it in my mind that it would be nice to just get pregnant and not have to go through ttc, the 2ww, etc.  So we haven't been using bc, but i didn't buy opk either.  I thought this would be a much less stressful way to get pregnant... especially since it has been less than 2 mon... Mon, 29 Sep 2008 11:21:24 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1313440 I did finally speak with my ob again.  She wants to see me to make a plan going forward and she is going to run 2 more tests... actually I think they are repeats, but this time I am fasting for them so it's a little bit different.  I feel like we are shifting momentum away from the mis... Thu, 25 Sep 2008 17:21:56 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1308887 Well, some of you heard I got the rest of my test results back (protein c, protein s, antithrombin mutation, factor v leiden, and mthfr) and they were all normal... which the high risk ob said would be good news (I haven't spoken to him since the testing results came back).  It's hard t... Mon, 22 Sep 2008 21:19:27 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1303067 Well, I would say on the whole I am much better... AF finally left and I feel like we are starting to achieve some normalcy.  I am still not sure about when we will ttc again, but we are slowly working toward it.  All of my bloodwork except factor V leiden and prothombin mutation are back ... Thu, 18 Sep 2008 22:47:49 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1293979 AF is in full force... that first period after losing a baby is always really hard-- heavy and crampy so I am taking it easy, letting dh pamper me.  I actually had a pretty good week-- I swam 5 mornings this week.  I am not quite up to a mile, but hope in another week or so I will be. ... Sat, 13 Sep 2008 08:36:44 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1290434 I saw my ob yesterday for my follow up... she was at a loss for what's happening.  Today, I saw the high risk ob who had reviewed all of my records and told me what I already knew-- everything has been normal so far with no explanation as to why I have lost the babies.  He actually fel... Wed, 10 Sep 2008 22:56:59 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/170957/journal/1286251 I got to the pool today.  My goal had been to swim a half mile, but I fell just short.  I am not in the same kind of shape I used to be... Anyway, I joined a master's swimming group to help me get to my goal.  I will swim with them Tues and Fri mornings. Mon, 08 Sep 2008 12:40:04 +0100