Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal Wed, 20 Aug 2008 17:03:34 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/113185/1213247381.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/113185 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/688697 Things are going a little better tonight.  Rusty and I are still at each other's throats.  urg,,,,,, I'm just bitchy and I don't know why.  I guess it's either hormones or part of the Borderline Personality Disorder.  I don't know.  I'm tired of it, a... Wed, 26 Dec 2007 23:13:14 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/684913 Today is Christmas Eve.  I thought i'd be an ok day, but I'm missing my "external" family so much.  We used to be such a close knit family, but since the "issue" with my dad came up, they have all turned their backs on me.  Hell , the kids didn't even g... Mon, 24 Dec 2007 23:03:02 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/656491 We have just found out about two weeks ago, that my dad has been "messing" with my daughters.  He's being held in jail with no bond right now, cause of the "details" of what he has done.  I'm just an emotional wreck, and i'm lost.  sorry, but i can'... Tue, 11 Dec 2007 21:21:15 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/590255 On their wedding night, the young bride>>>approached her new>>>husband and asked for $20.00 for their first>>>lovemaking encounter. In>>>his highly aroused state, her husband readily>>>agreed.>>>>>>This scenario was repeated each time th... Sun, 11 Nov 2007 19:36:41 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/587875 Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. >        >        > >        Marriage changes passion. >        Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. >  ... Sat, 10 Nov 2007 16:12:00 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/586110 I've been thinking of this all night last night and today.  I am thinking of stopping my therapy and quitting taking my meds.  I am so sick and tired of my therapy, my meds, my husband, everything.  I don't feel like the therapy is helping me right now, the meds aren't eit... Fri, 09 Nov 2007 18:41:39 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/580321 OK,SO MY DAD CAME BY THIS MORNING AND GOT RUSTY WORKED UP CAUSE SEE, MY DAD CO-SIGNED FOR OUR ELEC TO BE TURNED ON ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO.  HE SAID IF HE COULDN'T SEE THE KIDS, THEN HE WOULD HAVE THE ELEC TURNED OFF.  SO ME, BEING THE SMARTASS I AM, CALLED THE ELEC COMPANY AND TOLD THEM W... Wed, 07 Nov 2007 11:10:39 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/578266 It's so hard being cut off by my family.  My gramma is claiming that I'm a product of Satan and that I'm destined for hell, my dad claims that I'm a "no good child and I need to get over myself", and I'm only telling them that I'm tired of sitting back and taki... Tue, 06 Nov 2007 15:00:14 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/567714 My therapist gave me "homework" to do tonight,,,urg,,,she wanted me to write a letter to ten year old "me" and say anything I wanted to....She said that I needed to face what happened to me as a child...I was sexually abused by over 150 men and my bio mom from the ages of 9-13.... Thu, 01 Nov 2007 23:13:27 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/567558 I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what I'm going to put in this letter my therapist told me to do for "homework"....urg....Hopefully, some of you reading this has read my journal entries parts 1,2,3 and 4.  It'll make a lot more sense if you have......so, she wants me to write a lette... Thu, 01 Nov 2007 21:58:15 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/567176 Ok, so my therapist came over again today and we talked a lot about Rusty's porn addiction.  He brought up this fact that I have scriptures pinned up around the computer screen.  See about two weeks ago, he took them down and threw them away,,,,thinking I was trying to throw God in his... Thu, 01 Nov 2007 19:02:59 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/565182 Oh man,,,What a day it has been.  Had my therapist back over here again today....After the episode with my gramma yesterday and her telling me what a whore and slut I was when I was molested at nine.....She is kinda coming back every day... My dad came by while she was here....awkward... he hat... Wed, 31 Oct 2007 22:14:30 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/562706 Rusty and I went to my grammas today to visit with her for a while...I hadn't been over there in months because of episodes like the one that happened today....But i missed her and wanted to see her.... I also wanted to try to get outta the house without sedation today.... We got over there and ... Tue, 30 Oct 2007 21:24:22 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/558568 Alright, I'm just sick and tired of this crap......Everyone knows that all last week and this last weekend, all had gotten was prolly 3 hours of sleep total,   THE WHOLE TIME.... I can't sleep, panic has set in, and I have been soooooo messed up in my head from number one,,,,writti... Mon, 29 Oct 2007 09:17:40 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/555777 I have finally been able to come to terms with what happened to me as a child.  I no longer blame God,,,as a matter of fact, I now realize that God brought me out of it,,,,He made me stronger from it.  I am now realizing that I need to hand it all over to Him, or I WILL go crazy.  I c... Sat, 27 Oct 2007 23:53:39 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/549630 OOOHHHHHHHHHH, I JUST HAVE TO VENT,,,,THIS IS GETTING SO BAD IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!! ALL I HEAR FROM PEOPLE I KNOW THAT ARE PREGNANT AND NOT MARRIED, OR DOESN'T WANT KIDS, IS THAT THEY WILL JUST HAVE AN ABORTION,,,,THEY AREN'T EVEN THINKING TWICE ABOUT IT,,,,,,,I AM GETTING SO MAD AT SOME OF T... Thu, 25 Oct 2007 11:15:49 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/548470 My nine year old daughter, Tiffani, made a poem at church tonight....She gave it to me, cause in her words,,"I wanted you to feel better mommy"....There is a flower happy face and under it it says:1. Talk to God about the need.2. Believe God will meat your need,,,,(her spelling lol)3. Deci... Wed, 24 Oct 2007 21:22:41 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/547346 Omg, I am so tired.  I slept for a little while........My step son, Dakota got up in middle of the night and prowled.  At six he's just too damned old for that.  Let me give you some history on my radish....(it will explain his nickname.).....When he was conceived, his bio mon wan... Wed, 24 Oct 2007 13:09:30 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/543787 Why is it that men need a variety of women to look at? How come they can't just be happy with what they have, what they married, what they committed to with marriage vow?  Why is it that men feel like it's their "right" to look at whatever they want?  What about a woman... Tue, 23 Oct 2007 01:11:48 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/113185/journal/543780 I am in such a mood, I just don't know what to say. I'm sad, frustrated, my mind is going places that I don't want it to go.  It just seems like I'm angry all the time and half the time I don't know why. I am in such a state of depression and panic at the same time.  I ... Tue, 23 Oct 2007 01:07:29 +0100