Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal Sun, 12 Oct 2008 06:07:15 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/112907/1222274506.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/112907 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1335417 My eyes seem heavyMy mind won’t shut upThese dangerous thoughtsKeep floating about  I have a intense longingTo cut myself deepTo see my blood flowingA permanent sleep  I’m tired of life,New lines in my armsAll my blood flowingLosing all of life’s charms ... Fri, 10 Oct 2008 02:35:46 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1329690 Is it these pills that are making me depressed right now? I attempted suicide again last night... i didn't work, obviously, I wish it had... now I'm just sick and depressed... and tired... are these pills fucking with my mind? I can't do this.... Mon, 06 Oct 2008 12:19:35 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1326005 So they're putting me on Celexa... I hope this is a good thing lol.. cus I'm tired of things not working lol.. Day one or night one as it is begins tonight probably Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:14:39 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1322408 It was too much to hope for.. I knew that it wouldn't last lol.... made it one day, HA that's a joke eh, a whole fucking day.. I'm useless... Wed, 01 Oct 2008 14:18:27 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1320764 One day... doesn't seem like much but I'm going to celebrate each day... NO CUTTING FOR ONE DAY!!! Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:11:09 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1319049 well I knew I wasn't going to make it a week.... it was inevitable that I wouldn't be able to... I think I'm going to change my goal from percentage to days... maybe that'll encourage me a bit more.. Mon, 29 Sep 2008 14:29:09 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1316544 I just really want to cut right now... there are only a few things that make me want to break down like this at least the things that i know of.. I mean sometimes there aren't reasons but this time there is... I don't like to be abandoned by people, it's like one of the things that alway... Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:25:22 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1308357 Silence Done  The open blade, right in my hand Blood from last night’s venture It’s calling out to me again I want is that final adventure Maybe if I drew the line deep My pain would go away And I’d no longer have to weep The pain would not be thereSilently the blood does... Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:25:01 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1307469 Well, I started a new goal... to stop cutting, again... cus I started again... i just can't deal with this shit anymore... I thought I could control it, but looking back I know I never could control it, it was all an illusion really, like I could lie to myself and say that I didn't need to c... Mon, 22 Sep 2008 00:54:27 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1307292 Finality  A painful lineA tired pillA closing eyeA fading willA final cryA grazing reachA wounded sighA dying sleepA longing touchA failing grasp A laughing viewA doubting raspA finished lineA final cryA lasting fine A bent head Sun, 21 Sep 2008 22:19:54 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1301027 The Final FeeBy: Kara DeVaan and Emily Stanley  My eyes seem heavyMy mind won’t shut upThese dangerous thoughtsKeep floating about  I have a intense longingTo cut myself deepTo see my blood flowingA permanent sleep  I’m tired of life,New lines in my armsAll ... Wed, 17 Sep 2008 19:07:37 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1299759 It's done... its been a while but I'm done with the cutting... for now... Tue, 16 Sep 2008 23:54:43 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1292120 So, I thought today could actually be a good day for me ya know? Like as if I could hope for a good day right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I don't get good days, lol... I get the days that look like a good day but are really just bad days in disguise.  I went for my first councelling sessio... Thu, 11 Sep 2008 23:37:08 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1285605 http://dailystrength.org/c/Depression/forum/Crisis-Center/4664733-voice-my-voice-but     this is what happens... Mon, 08 Sep 2008 00:40:19 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1282829 not doing so good right now... its between the irrationalization of my emotions and the irrationality of cutting... one seems a lot more rational right now... i don't know if you can guess which one, but i can tell you that its not a good one...  i just feel like the most rediculo... Sat, 06 Sep 2008 02:18:55 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1277012 Hey guys, I'm back I suppose, its been a while since I last was on here. I wanted to try and figure things out and all I did was get more confused... Things haven't been perfect in my life by any means. Not that they should be, I mean there really isn't any such thing in this world as pe... Tue, 02 Sep 2008 17:17:29 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1186882 So basically my parents caught me sayin that I was stoned and stuff and then like they come up to me and said that they thought I should move out the house... so basically I could be homeless in a few days... well sorta homeless, I have a home I just don't know how I'd pay for things... :P a... Mon, 14 Jul 2008 01:39:51 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1169886 Happy Birthday to meHappy Birthday to meHappy Birhtday dearest meHappy Birthday to me...  And many more... hahahahahahaha    Lalalallalalalala, drunkenness is AWESOME!!! :D Sun, 06 Jul 2008 01:51:59 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1058304 So pretty much the worst day of my life... my work made me go home early which made me loose money, and then I come home and my parents are harping on me about how I need to clean up my room and blah blah blah... and then I get a letter from my school... I mean I knew this was comming but I've b... Sat, 17 May 2008 02:19:46 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/112907/journal/1058300 1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? oh so many people, and no one at all (atleast thats what my parents say) on one side of my family almost all the women have the name ellen somewhere, and emily is passed down from my great aunt 2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? constantly today...  3. DO YOU L... Sat, 17 May 2008 02:15:07 +0100