Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:40:09 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/103716/1215369928.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/103716 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/1196595 Starving. Binging. Starvng. Binging. Starving. Binging. That's how I've spent my last week. I have a fucking eating disorder and the stress and anxiety of my present situation is causing me to completely flip-flop back and foth between the two. Unhealthy I know, but what can I do? I... Fri, 18 Jul 2008 13:48:36 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/1188482 I posted this in the forums, but wanted to post it here as well.   WARNING: This post is of sexual nature. If you don't like it, don't read it. So I lost my virginity this past weekend. It was with a guy I had met that night and will probably never see again. It was ab... Mon, 14 Jul 2008 19:40:21 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/1142122 So, life has been really compliacted, but good for me lately. I'm working at Bally's in the kids area.I've signed back up for school.I'm going out more with friends.I turned 21.I go to my counselor once a week.  I just haven't been on here in a long time because my... Mon, 23 Jun 2008 14:25:48 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/905997 FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK  FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!AS YOU CAN TELL AM PISSED OFF, FURIOUS, ANGRY, SAD, DEPRESSED, ETC.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!I HATE HIS NEW JOB RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mon, 17 Mar 2008 16:25:26 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/889085 Is it possible to hate and love someone at the same time. That's how I feel about my mother. She has been tracking everything I've done on the computer. EVERYTHING! She knows all of my secrets. And I hate her for it. I love her though at the same time. It shows that she cares and she is terr... Mon, 10 Mar 2008 20:44:20 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/849491 I've had a VERY busy week with my new job, but I am loving it! Lots of fun haning out with kiddos and snuggling with babies. Yes we have the criers and screamers, but we can't avoid that. One of my favorite kids is Logan. He has autism and I swear he is the best behaved kid there. He's n... Sun, 24 Feb 2008 21:02:18 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/838020 I GOT A JOB!!!!!! YAY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll be working at Bally Total Fitness' Day Care Center. Not only do I get to work with children, and not have to change their diapers, I get discounts for all ready being a member there! And it's major extra motivation to work out everyday! WO... Wed, 20 Feb 2008 13:24:01 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/823057 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ME!!!!!!!!! The love of my life finally called me!!! Best present for me ever!!!!! I'm so glad he is safe and happy!!!! I love him so much!!! It was wonderful to hear his voice again!!! He's going out with his Mommy for dinner, but then he is calling me again!!! ... Thu, 14 Feb 2008 18:58:50 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/821919 I am alone on Valentine's Day. Again. Charles hasn't called me. I really thought he would have called me by now. I love him so much, and was looking forward to today for weeks now. And nothing. Disappointed again. No one to share this special day with. Happy Valentine's Day baby. I ... Thu, 14 Feb 2008 11:49:35 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/820550 I want to harm myself right now. I'm trying really hard not to right now. I feel so lost. And at the same time I don't want to. I haven't harmed for over 2 months now. And I don't want to because I've made great strides in taking the right path to getting better. My counselor is ... Wed, 13 Feb 2008 22:19:37 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/820242 It's officially been a week. I haven't heard from Charles. I'm really worried. He was supposed to be out Monday and call me. Nothing. I hate not hearing from, not knowing how he is. I'm afraid something may have happened and the hospital had to keep him. God I hate this. I'm tryi... Wed, 13 Feb 2008 20:11:09 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/817093 I'm dying inside. I'm so tired of people telling me to go for what I want and live my life for me, but when I try to it's all wrong. I'm wrong. FUCK ALL OF YOU!!! God damn it this is my life and I'm going to do what I want for once in my life!!!! I'm going to choose the man I... Tue, 12 Feb 2008 18:07:55 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/815858 He hasn;t called. He was supposed to get out yesterday and call, but nothing. I'm worrying all over again. I hate this. Tue, 12 Feb 2008 10:23:24 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/811543 CHARLES IS OK!!!!! His mother got a hold of me to let me know he is getting out tomorrow and he is going to call me as soon as he can. I love this woman. I've never even met her, but she managed to get a hold of me to let me know he is dying to call me and will do so as soon as he gets out. He i... Sun, 10 Feb 2008 19:58:03 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/810498 Nothing. It'll be exactly 4 days at 2 p.m. that he went into the hospital, and nothing. Absolutely nothing. God damn it. I just want to know he is ok! I'm trying to be strong and act like nothing is wrong in my life because my family has no idea how in love I am with Charles. It's a long... Sun, 10 Feb 2008 12:15:57 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/806343 73 hours have passed, and nothing. I haven't heard anything. I pray you are ok, love. You are in my heart, and I will keep waiting for you to call.I haven't really slept. Barely eaten. I'm just so overcome with worry and anxiety.This man is the love of my life. He is my soul mate. And if... Fri, 08 Feb 2008 15:49:20 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/802615 Do you know what it's like to get a message from the man you love saying "I'm checking myself into the hospital. I 'll call you as soon as I get out. I love you baby."It's torture.It's been 17 hours since then, and nothing. God I've only slept about 2 hours. I haven... Thu, 07 Feb 2008 08:22:50 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/791975 I am in love with the best man in the whole world. I never thought I would be able to find a man who loves me for who I am, but I have. He is one of the few great things I have in my life right now. And while everyone else may think he is a component of my OCD, I know better. Everyone says that it i... Sun, 03 Feb 2008 13:46:05 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/778140 My mother sucks. New medical issues suck. Medical bills suck. Pressure sucks. Finding doctors sucks. LIFE SUCKS! Tue, 29 Jan 2008 10:59:02 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/103716/journal/726642 I hope you are happy mom. I self-harmed because of you. You are a stupid lying bitch. You fucking hypocrite. I hate you. I HATE YOU!!!!! I want more than anything to escape this house, but I can't. I can't leave. Because I don't have anywhere to go. I am trapped here. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH... Thu, 10 Jan 2008 17:30:52 +0100