Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:19:18 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/102760/1213248210.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/102760 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1203728 Hi I'm Stephanie Moore.21 years old.I'm fat,sad,pathetic,single,alone,friendless,lifeless,depressed,frustrated,poor,hopeless,alone...so so alone,ugly,unloved,unwanted,tired,It's nice to meet you. Tue, 22 Jul 2008 11:05:59 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1201166 It's amazing how much wanting someone you can't have can be the hardest, most heart breaking feeling in the world.Even more so, when you're so close to it. You can taste it, touch it, but it's not yours. I'm really, really hoping to start a diet this week.It's going to b... Mon, 21 Jul 2008 04:58:26 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1108324 weekends suck.I suck.4 weeks til 'her' party.Crap.Therapy tomorrow.45 minute drive to get there.45 minute drive home. Fat.Unhappy.Lonely.Bored.Suicidal. Life.sucks.  Sun, 08 Jun 2008 17:23:30 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1097293 I know I've said it a million times before - but tomorrow I will do this.I now have someone who I am "accountable" to, and that, is something I've never had before.I know if I can manage 3 days in a row then I'll have broken things - I'll be ok.But I've never even had d... Tue, 03 Jun 2008 17:53:13 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1095939 well, I don't know really. I'm quite tired, angry, agitated, pissed off, annoyed, frustrated...grrrr.I know I do tend to have these weird mood swings but grrrrr I don't know.Maybe it's born from jealously - I see so many other thin people - especially when they're busy complainin... Tue, 03 Jun 2008 04:35:40 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1085089 I'm not going to be coming here anymore.I don't talk to anyone, and all I do is vent about how bad I feel and read how well others are doing.Everytime I come here I feel more like the fat failure I've become.Don't get me wrong I'm very proud to see you all doing well and hearing ... Thu, 29 May 2008 02:23:59 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1080174 So the summer is almost here, and mines going to be ruined again.I've put more weight on.I haven't been this heavy in 3 years.I look awful. I feel awful. And I'm so depressed I just keep eating becauise I don't care.And yet I really do care. My life:Fat - not clinically but I am... Tue, 27 May 2008 03:53:20 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1073672 Didn't sleep much - was up at 5am, had chicken soup and two slice of bread - then went on the treadmill for 1.5 hours walking, sorted my art out - There's an exhibition at the church - hoping to sell something!Work, went to the church, read at home, made a cake, cooked dinner, watched a film... Fri, 23 May 2008 18:28:23 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1068885 It never ends. Wed, 21 May 2008 17:40:03 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1063824 I THINK I did ok.I burnt 700cals by walking (5.5km 2.5hours) and I ate quite calorfic meals but I didn't binge.I'm so emtionally drained and tired at the minute. Guess I'll go sleep. Mon, 19 May 2008 17:38:50 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1062451 SO I really wanted to try and start good, and last night I was going to let myself have one of my midnight binges - you know a "last meal" deal. Cept when I got up I was too tired and went back to bed. So I got up this morning and was hungry and was craving all the things I was going to le... Mon, 19 May 2008 04:52:28 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1061399 And I havent learnt my lesson.I'm still eating.How do I stop.Please someone tell me how I'm meant to lose weight - I seem to have forgotten Sun, 18 May 2008 17:22:19 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1060378 Today has been highly depressing.All I can think about is how I should be getting ready for my holiday, and I'm not. And what makes it worse is I only have myself to blame.It's my own fault I'm fat - no one elsesTrust me - things are easier when you have something to blame."Oh I can... Sun, 18 May 2008 06:21:43 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1058399 First day of my all liquid diet.I'm doing this because I need to help break my addiction to food.If I was an alcoholic or on drugs they would stop me taking them altogether.Food addiction is the hardest - you have to keep consuming the thing you're addicted to in order to stay alive.But so I... Sat, 17 May 2008 04:17:33 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1053079 My treadmill keeps electrocuting me, I have awful stomach pains for unknown reasons, I'm suffering bad headaches and sickness, I'm fat, and I'm not going on holiday.My life = shitI don't think life could get more shit at the minute. Nothing seems to be going right.I can't even go... Thu, 15 May 2008 04:06:07 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1047097 Yeah I love my new puppy - it hasnt got a name Any suggestions?I'm still eating like a pregnant woman - I dont need to eat anymore - so why do I?Still fat.Still Gaining.Still fed up.Gonna go eat something- yup can't stop - why bother.Be fat, Be dead.  Mon, 12 May 2008 17:22:18 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1038337 today has been a nightmare, I've eaten so much, I just wanted my stomach to burst and die.I'm going to do my best to start my diet tomorrow. I could really use some encouragement.I know I'm a healhty weight for my height - but I could lose 20lbs and still be a healthy size and weight.I w... Thu, 08 May 2008 17:32:07 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1037115 So I've cancelled my holiday.I knew it was a considerable long shot trying to get a liposuction appointment booked before I went but unfortunately I have huge amounts of hope when anything is concerned - it's sucks because it makes me stupid and gullable.So the holiday is cancelled and my he... Thu, 08 May 2008 08:06:14 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1032478 Happy moods never last very long do they - so much for optimism - and positive thinking and faith.I really was beginning to believe that if I wanted to enough and I thought it was possible and I had faith that I could dorp this weight before my holiday - But yes you were all right, do you all feel w... Tue, 06 May 2008 11:22:32 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/102760/journal/1030131 Yay another day went ok.Having chinese tonight - yeah yeah I know it has a tonne of calories but I'm really optimistic about losing weight before my holiday - I'd be completely happy if I reached 115lbs before I go - that's 10lbs in as many days but I think I can do it. But that's wh... Mon, 05 May 2008 12:37:59 +0100