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		<title>Infidelity Forum: to tell or not - DailyStrength</title>
		<description>In one of the other threads someone mentioned they hadn't told friends or family about the A and it reminded me of something I read that sug...</description>
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		<lastBuildDate>Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:15:15 +0100</lastBuildDate>
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			<title>Comment by sld1</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I told people but my marriage is ending after 29 years.  I called family within minutes of finding out.  I couldn't handle it.  They were afraid I would forgive him.  My break up was pretty bad and I wasn't given a choice. 
  
 Only you can decide what is best for you.  If you think you can save your ...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 23:24:59 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by wjztrimmer</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[tell who you want to tell.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 00:42:04 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by needhelp62</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[If you're trying to repair your marriage I suggest you DON'T tell your family. They will circle the wagons to protect you from 'the enemy'. They will probably always see him as the person who hurt you, even when you are ready to forgive. If they are your family, that I just what families do.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 03:24:12 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by kristi425</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[WHen my dad had his (first) affair, my mom made HIM tell her mother and father.  They were honenst because my grandpa and step grandpa stay with us for a month in the year and would have noticed them going to marriage <a href="http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Psychotherapy" onclick="treatmentHotLink('http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Psychotherapy')" class="treatmentlink" title="Learn more about Counseling">counseling</a> and whatnot.  They told grandma (her mom) because she babysat us a lot ...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 03:58:58 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by nvrfrgt1</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I told our closest friends (3 couples) and our families. I was devestated and wanted support. In a way I wanted them to see him as the enemy. Now that we are trying to work it out I wish I hadn't been SO forthright with what had happened. My family looks at him very differtly. You do what you need t...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 07:07:13 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by tearful</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I told!! If someone asked me how we were doing I told them what was going on. I have no regrets. We are still together and working on repairing the damage he caused. I didn't do anything wrong in the relationship I didn't cheat. So I have nothing to hide. My husband has supported me on this 100%.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 08:28:27 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by canttakethis</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I have told 1 friend and 1 coworker as she is going thru the samething. I screwed up and cheated, have not told my husband, have no plans to. The guilt bothers me everyday, wanting to tell my H, but I know it would mean loosing him, and I do not want to loose him, I believe it is a personal-case by ...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 09:18:24 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by jrsygrl13</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I told everyone... and there are two ways to look at it...in some ways ,now that we have reconciled and are working on saving the marriage it makes things awkward for me.. I feel like some people are judging me, us etc....and who knows? maybe they are ..maybe they're not and its just my imagination....]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 09:33:23 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by somefool</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Sometimes we don't have a choice, my H has an affair with a co-worker 14 years younger than him. The company knows and many of my H friends work there.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 10:17:15 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by ashleyt</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[i told people about mine and i'm still married to him because i couldn't handle it on my own]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 11:50:30 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by ibex</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[We live in a town small enough where everyone knows someone you know.  I actually told my family I was leaving...my daughter spend hours <a href="http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Crying" onclick="treatmentHotLink('http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Crying')" class="treatmentlink" title="Learn more about Crying">crying</a> on phone with her friends whose parents know us.  The OM & W split up and everyone who knows them knows why.  I know that everywhere I go people will look a...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 12:45:07 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by nades</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[i never told my parents because i didnt want them to treat him different we told the children because they were in the house i told a few close friends as i needed support but i wished i had not told one of them,but who are we protecting? Us or them]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 16:40:13 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by MrForgiveness</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[We all need someone to talk to (and this support group is good), but telling family is a big step.  
  
 As Nades said "i didnt want them to treat him different". Depends on your family: If they are likely to be very protective or judgemental, your relationship will have to bust through that too, befo...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 21:28:23 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Silverstix</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[For me and my husband telling hasn't been a real big issue. I had to tell my children because unfortunately they were home when the OW called the house to talk to their dad after I found out about the affair, they heard way too much.  
 But a friend of mine in the same situation ran into lots of prob...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 23:29:34 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Infidel</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I told my parents about my affair, as well as a few friends, one co-worker and one of my sisters. That was before I got caught.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 23:30:59 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by doodahdaytripper</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Everybody knew she was up to something, and when it came to light, they were disappointed, but not suprised.  So, I told everybody, and still tell the truth when somebody asks!!  If she ever comes back into my life, it is a decision I made, and who cares what others might think, as it is my life.  H...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Sat, 17 May 2008 00:45:23 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by ladykatferrari</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/3371725-tell-not/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I didn't tell anyone about my fiance cheating on me for 6 weeks and i was pregnant, it nearly killed me. I think everyone should be open about it and then there's no secrets anymore as that is what feeds the need to have another secret life...... I say shout it from the roof tops and then there's li...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Sat, 17 May 2008 06:36:16 +0100</pubDate>
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