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		<title>Breakups &amp; Divorce Forum: Looking for an answer - DailyStrength</title>
		<description>I need an opinion. I was talking with a therapist and she said sometimes Dad's pull away from kids after divorce because they can't handle t...</description>
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		<lastBuildDate>Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:31:00 +0100</lastBuildDate>
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			<title>Comment by dumpedwith4kids</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[my bet hes a fucking asshole..just an opinion]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 20:45:04 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by sld1</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[He's with the OW.  She's more important now.  I'm so sorry.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 20:48:16 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by 2blue2</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[He refuses to do his share of parentingis he someone normally you would want your kids to have a realtionship with?]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 20:49:23 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by brokenvows</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I think part of it is they can't face what they've done so they can't face their kids.  It's sad but I really believe that's what goes on in "some" cases, especially if the kids are old enough to understand.  My H doesn't talk about what's going on, to anyone, never mind our son.  And my son (17 yrs...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 20:52:30 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by brokenvows</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[And yes, Dumped-he's still a fucking asshole!!!  A spade is a spade.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 20:53:04 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by DoubleJ</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Well, being a guy which I am.  I am not through it all but I can see my self pulling away because it hurts so bad to be around her.  I fn hate it.  I love my kids to death and will be fighting for custody if I don't get it. I can see my self backing away.  Women have always made me pull away after a...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 20:53:35 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by ashew</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[No freaking WAY.  My x is a selfish prick who wants it his way or no way!  When his gf couldn't be around them because of court order, he didn't come around either.  Heck he didn't come around even BEFORE there was a court order barring his gf.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 20:56:45 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by sasquatch0411</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I don't understand not wanting to be with your kids.  I moved away from my ex/and kids because I couldn't deal with her moving on so quickly.  I needed to get myself better!  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't call them though to talk and see how there day was.  I'm working on saving money ...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 21:06:41 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by MaeIsab</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I don't buy that crap.  There are plenty of wonderful dads here on DS who love their children and want to spend as much time with them as they can and their ex-wives are the a**holes.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 21:10:07 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by TimN</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I agree with Mailsab for the most part.  Takes two to make it work.  I spend a lot of time with my kids.  I go on field trips at <a href="http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Education" onclick="treatmentHotLink('http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Education')" class="treatmentlink" title="Learn more about School">school</a> and meet my boy for lunch at <a href="http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Education" onclick="treatmentHotLink('http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Education')" class="treatmentlink" title="Learn more about School">school</a> when I'm off during the <a href="http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Education" onclick="treatmentHotLink('http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Education')" class="treatmentlink" title="Learn more about School">school</a> week.   I can't even think about abandoning my kids because of ex.   My ex hurt me badly but it n...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 21:22:32 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by boatdocker</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I could NEVER EVER pull away from my kids..I need them and want them now more than I can imagine..I want them with me 100% of the time..I say its bullshit of a dad to <a href="http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Leave" onclick="treatmentHotLink('http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Leave')" class="treatmentlink" title="Learn more about Leave">leave</a> there kids..just like it is for a mom to do the same thing..it happens both ways]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 21:25:38 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by sasquatch0411</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I feel i need to say that there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I was with my kids.  I hate that I moved away but was in my best interest and there's in the long run.  I was a mess and a hurtin' dad was not a good thing to have around.  I'm still a bit of a mess but much better than I was...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 21:28:56 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Lucy570</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Sometimes dads pull away because they have another woman in their life, and the woman does not wish to share time with the children. That is what mine done to me. In the end, the other spouse who is not spending time with the children wind up to really regret it. Sooner or later, it hits them in the...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 21:56:38 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Cynthia35</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[i am sure that this is true. selfish assholes can't handle the pain of separation. because it is really all about them.  
  
 take care.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 22:05:22 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by DoubleJ</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Cynthia35 I disagree with you we are not selfish or at least I am not I have been there for my wife through several spats of depression where she had to go on <a href="http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Leave" onclick="treatmentHotLink('http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Leave')" class="treatmentlink" title="Learn more about Leave">leave</a> for work and I took care of her and the kids. It is my stbx wife who is selfish and doesn't deserve the kids.  She has done everything ...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 22:11:20 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Noreen2</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[probably an asshole. Mine was a asshole when we were married, or still lived together. Now he is superdad. Buys them anything, takes them everwhere. I <a href="http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Faith" onclick="treatmentHotLink('http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Faith')" class="treatmentlink" title="Learn more about Hope">hope</a> he keeps it up. Sadly, I doubt it as he has never been able to stick with anything that doesnt revolve around him for long.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 22:17:56 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Cynthia35</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[If ANYONE thought I believe all divorced fathers are selfish assholes, I totally apologize. I do not believe this. I do think that fathers who don't pay child support, see their children at the gas station and fail to greet them, who expose them to illicit drugs, take their toys and give them to oth...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 22:19:10 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Mopri</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I got closer to my kids, making sure to look out to see how they are handling it.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 22:22:52 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by HeathH</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Mine has not laid eyes on his kids in ^ months, and has not made any attempt to see them. Has only called 3 times.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 May 2008 22:23:45 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by luvmyk1ds</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I have tried to make it as easy as possible for him just for the kids sake. I have offered to let him come over here and see them. I have offered them during the week and sometimes on my weekends. He can only come up with a thousand excuses. He won't do any field trips. The seven year old begged him...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 06:52:26 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by SeanE</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[In my case it was very painful sometimes when the kids seemed not to miss me or when I had to say goodbye at the end of the weekend especially when my oldest told me that she wanted to stay with me and not go back to her mother. The pain can be heartbreaking. I am not saying that it is the same in y...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 07:23:28 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Cynthia35</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[it does hurt badly. it is also common that children are extremely well behaved around the "absent" parent and fall apart around the primary parent. this is true for my child. she is afraid of losing her dad so she listens to him and worrries about him. i have to deal with the expression of her emoti...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 10:01:30 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by TD66</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I don't think it's just guys.  I know when my wife has gone out on dates, she leaves my 15 year old at home alone.  Which is no big deal, but just rubs me wrong, so I usually spend time with him.  Not that I don't on a regular basis, I just feel I should be with him while she's out gallavanting.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 10:05:18 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by SandySan</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I think they do it because of the shame they carry.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 10:06:12 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by chrurop</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[i agree with you. that has to be the stupidest thing iv'e ever heard.  he divorced you, not his children.  that's crap. does this therapist have children.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 11:08:22 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by luvmyk1ds</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[The asshole told me today he doesn't have any money and he couldn't do anything with the kids but he's out every weekend. I asked him why he couldn't take them to the park and got the "Gas" excuse. I think I found my answer. He is a selfish selfcentered asshole who could care less about these kids.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Sat, 17 May 2008 09:39:04 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by confusedandsad</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[My ex moved my kids 1000 miles away. I talk to them every day on the phone and I fly to visit them twice a month whenever possible. However, for the first 2 months after the seperation it was very hard for me to see them. I felt so ashamed for leaving thier mother that it was hard to face them. The ...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Sat, 17 May 2008 09:43:35 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by bugged</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3370092-looking-answer/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I think in part that is true - mine certainly has pulled away from his kids - what he tells me is they are adults now - 17 and 20, they don't need him, we're all right we're friends.  But honestly - its an excuxe because he knows that he has hurt them - he has taken away their security - he just doe...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Sat, 17 May 2008 09:58:19 +0100</pubDate>
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