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		<title>Breakups &amp; Divorce Forum: Does he have grounds to ask me to pay his lawyer? - DailyStrength</title>
		<description>I am so angry right now I feel like I'm about to burst!! I spoke to stbx today to discuss separation agreement. He was being a complete assh...</description>
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		<lastBuildDate>Fri, 05 Sep 2008 03:14:21 +0100</lastBuildDate>
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			<title>Comment by DeannaS</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[It doesn't sound like he has any right to have you pay for his lawyer. You haven't been married that long.  I am new at this whole thing so I honestly am not sure but I would fight it.  Best of luck to you.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 20:47:37 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by courier</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[a 1.5 year marriage has likely NOT amassed a wealth of "marital assets" to split.  Likewise a 1.5 year marriage is also NOT likely to result in the awarding of "maintenance"/spousal support or alimony..so no need for him to hire an attorney.  As for t he engagement ring...well courts generally rule ...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 20:50:07 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by proudpops</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I don't know the legal ramifications or position, but the scales of equity and decency, he sounds like a free-loader. I <a href="http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Faith" onclick="treatmentHotLink('http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Faith')" class="treatmentlink" title="Learn more about Hope">hope</a> your lawyer has some helpful insight.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 20:52:34 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by noob</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[One and a half years does not an alimony payment make. 
  
 Go out of your way, and spare no expense to ditch that freeloader. 
  
 Dont even give him the time of day anymore. 
  
 Your lawyer will eventually call. They are in their own time zone on a planet of lawyers in some other galaxy. Expect the une...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 20:53:07 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by pittguy</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[He can not demand that you pay for his attorney, since it is not a criminal case, by law he's not entitled to counsel and could represent himself if need be. 
  
 As for the engagement ring, I don't know it seems petty.  I let my ex keep her wedding band without even bringing it up, but she agreed to ...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 20:53:10 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by JTGPP</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[that's called him seeking drama.  that would be the equivalent of me asking for my ex's saline implants back that I paid for]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 20:55:11 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by brokenvows</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I don't think he has the right to money for the engagement ring-it is a gift.  As far as the lawyer, sounds like BS to me.  If he doesn't contest then what does he really need a lawyer for?  <a href="http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Faith" onclick="treatmentHotLink('http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Faith')" class="treatmentlink" title="Learn more about Hope">Hope</a> your lawyer calls you back with good news.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 21:00:11 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by proudpops</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Hey JTGPP, 
  
 I know that diamonds and gold appreciate in value, but what about saline implants? Can you recycle or re-sell them. :-)]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 21:04:41 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by sld1</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[LOL  This is actually ridiculous.  Tell him that.  Unless it was a family ring, you don't have to give it back.  You won't have to pay him a cent.  Check your state laws but unless you're worth millions I wouldn't have any <a href="http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Faith" onclick="treatmentHotLink('http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Faith')" class="treatmentlink" title="Learn more about Hope">hope</a> if I was him.  Ignore him and don't worry about a thing.  1 1/2 years, y...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 21:14:20 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by brokenvows</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[JT-I am up for some saline myself!  LOL!!]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 21:14:32 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by mmaryflanagan</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Tell him to FO and die. What an idiot.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 21:18:27 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Snoopy1165</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[First and foremost do not let his intimidation bother you. Second if he sat around smoking pot while you worked have your lawyer require him to submit for a drug test. The drug abuse alone while you worked two jobs is mental abuse towards you. From what youve stated it looks like drug abuse councili...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 21:21:40 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Run7</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Thanks for all your replies. You guys are too funny about the saline implants :) 
 I think deep down I know that he doesn't have any grounds to support his stupid demands. But it doesn't stop me from freaking out about it.  
 By the way, the e-ring is not a family heirloom. I initially didn't even wan...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 21:59:11 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Run7</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Snoopy, thanks for the suggestion. I'll mention it to my lawyer (if he ever calls me back). Stbx also lied to me about his mental illnesses (bipolar and depression) so I'll use that too. 
 I'm trying so hard to just move on and get on with my life but I feel so stupid for marrying that loser and fall...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 22:01:28 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by debbirdo</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[My stbx makes way more than I do and still tryied to get me to pay his lawyer fee.My lawyer told his lawyer absulutely NOT!!! HHHHmmmm 
 Sounds like our stbxs went to the same <a href="http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Education" onclick="treatmentHotLink('http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Education')" class="treatmentlink" title="Learn more about School">school</a> of stupid]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 22:03:44 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Run7</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Does it matter that I made 4x what he did? I worked 2 jobs to pay the bills while he chose do nothing except doing "extras" in movies. Can he use that against me?]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 22:05:14 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Run7</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I'm going to try to get some <a href="http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Sleep" onclick="treatmentHotLink('http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Sleep')" class="treatmentlink" title="Learn more about Sleep">sleep</a> and not stress about this (yeah right!). Good night all!]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 23:14:36 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by sassyrab</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[My lawyer said that if my stbx doesnt get his own lawyer we could ASK the judge for him to pay half the attorney fees.  As far as the engagement ring.  I seriously doubt it.  You fulfilled your engagement.  Ive only heard of having to give it back if you dont get married.  Hes probably stoned.  Haha...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 23:19:28 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Run7</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Thanks sassy! You're right. He is probably stoned out of his mind.  
 It's 5 am and I haven't slept at all. I wish I could be indifferent and not stress over that asshole.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2008 05:26:41 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by NakedVicar</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[He has grounds to ask... 
  
 You have grounds to tell him to go take a flying %$#@ at the moon]]></description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2008 06:29:29 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by SandySan</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[First, an engagement ring is a gift of promise (and you fulfilled the promise by marrying him), it's yours.  Secondly, only the court can decide who pays the legal fees, but in my case, and I was married 29 years, we each paid our own.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2008 09:52:43 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by TheDivineMsM</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[He could ask for anything he wants but that does not mean you have to agree to it. 
  
 As far as the engagement ring, it is yours free and clear. If the marriage never took place then you would have to give the ring back or give him the money for it but since the marriage did take place it belongs to...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2008 09:58:59 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by mistimp</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I have no idea about the ring, but my ex is supposed to pay the legal fees for our <a href="http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Divorce" onclick="treatmentHotLink('http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Divorce')" class="treatmentlink" title="Learn more about Divorce">divorce</a>.  He cheated though so it's a different situation.  I guess it really depends on the state and situation.  Sorry I wasn't more helpful.]]></description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2008 10:30:13 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Tomc66</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Yes, the ring was a gift so it's your's free and clear.  (and make sure it's not included or counted in any settlement by the lawyers). 
 As for paying for his lawyer, I'm not sure about the laws in NY so I'd have to say ask your lawyer (when he calls you back) and see what he/she recommends. 
  
 Good...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2008 10:38:06 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by Onwards</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Let him blow it, out of his A#$. I don't know your laws. But mine tried, telling me all the same things, you have listed. It did not wash, at all.I like to call it bravado. The judge does not want to hear about that. It is all about contibution to the pool, he is pulling your chain..Please, do not l...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2008 11:05:26 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by 1toughcookie</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Per my attorney in NC- No he can not get the money back for the engagment ring. That was a gift, before marriage. Its not even marital assets. I checked on this one before I sold mine. Attorney fees, that is standard, we asked for the same thing, however, my attorney fees are already paid. We ask th...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2008 11:08:13 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by momsren</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[My stbx tried to get me to pay his legal fees.  Heck, he's still trying.  He's also coming after me for his debt, the mortgage that he never paid, child support and any other financial stuff he can think of.  He has the right to ask and I have the right to give him the finger.  It will eventually al...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2008 11:37:59 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by nancyneds</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I have a cousin divorcing in NY. You definitely have grounds for <a href="http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Divorce" onclick="treatmentHotLink('http://dailystrength.org/treatments/Divorce')" class="treatmentlink" title="Learn more about Divorce">divorce</a>. STBX can ask for those things, and you can refuse those requests. A judge will likely rule in your favor. 
  
 Educate yourself on the laws and your rights in NY, before you spend any money on a lawyer. 
  
 There are ga lot of go...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2008 11:41:24 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by FrankLawyer</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Anyone can ask for anything they want in court.  That doesn't mean they're going to get it. 
  
 Generally, there's a presumption in our legal system that each side will bear their own legal costs.  There are mechanisms in place for one party, who succeeds in a lawsuit against another, to recover thei...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2008 13:58:34 +0100</pubDate>
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			<title>Comment by ashew</title>
			<link>http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/3266929-does-he-have-grounds/lastpage</link>
			<description><![CDATA[I'm likely getting attorney fees awarded to me BUT my x did not follow through with discovery in a timely manner.  We requested documents.  He said that he'd give them to us.  Then we'd file again.  He'd give us part of what we asked for...say he didn't know that's what we meant...then says he'd get...]]></description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2008 14:28:54 +0100</pubDate>
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