Widows & Widowers Support Group

I think you need to do what's best for you. My husband died in June, and I couldn't imagine being in a new town not knowing anyone. If I were in your shoes, I go running back to my family and friends. But this has to be your decision, do what you feel is right for you. I will keep you in my prayers, take care, Pam

You found newly found friends at DS. My loss is new so I don't know how much help I can be.
You need to do what is best for you. I'm sure a very hard decision. Family and friends are very important. Your own goals are just as important.

If you can't make up your mind yet then why don't you go home for a little while to think about whats best. If you can get home.

I'm going through the samething. What would Ed want me to do. I'm so use to him making the "family decisions" when it come to things like that.

So hard, So hard

Prayers and God Bless

I understand completely.

You have to make the decision! I don't know what I would've done without my family and friends being here for me. Each thing we all do is hard but you can make it. We will be here for you. Take Care, Debbie

You will have to decide, but whereever you live, you have to find support, either in a grief support group; church, new friends or old friends, or family. If living on the boat is too confining and issolated; then you probably need to go back. It was the two of you that were going to do the boat thing; it is you that has to decide the route now. I realized a few months ago that I can't (and don't even want to) live anymore like it is US, because it's not us but it's just me, just solitairy ole' me. I don't know how to do all the things he could do, some I can learn. Others I'll never do. So those things have to go, or change.
Sally

I also think that you are the one that has to make that decision but don't be to quick on making it. I know it's lonely but before you decide take a little time and give your new place a chance. When my husband died 18 months ago everyone told me to wait one year before I made any "big" decisions. Don't sell the house too quick etc. You know they were so right. My thoughts have changed some in a years time. So find some support where you are, trust me there's people out there around you that are going through the same thing. Finding DS was one of the best things that has happened to me. We are here to help too.
Debbie

What do you want? Some might say what good is the boat if you can't move it but if you are content or comforted by being there then its a good thing. If it makes you lonely and you need your old friends and family then try visiting first to see how you feel. I sit here in our house, close to family and friends and am still longing for a life that once was. This will be the feeling wherever you are but family does make it easier. They say you should wait a year before making big decisions but if you miss your family and have no one to comfort you then you can't wait. I hope you find some peace and comfort whatever you decide. Hugs!!!

Sounds to me like you need to get off the boat. Whether or not you move back closer to family is another thing. How far off is your family? I think a grief group might be good for you if you want to stay in your new town. You can give it a shot at trying to build a new life where you are, but it sounds to me like the boat is just not a good place for you right now. It sounds incredibly isolated to me, but then I've never lived on a house boat or whatever. Some house boat communities are supposed to be great, but if you're just isolating being there, I don't believe that's healthy.

Before my husband passed away, we were planning to move to South Carolina. We stayed there for a week to check the place. When he died, I decided to stay put, where families are close by. It was a good decision for me. I don't think I could have survive in a place where I don't know anyone.

From where I sit at my trouble-shooting computer console, I can stand up, take a step to the right, turn around and face the north side of the building. Directly in front of me, about 2/3 of a city block away (it is a BIG building) I can see the shelf above the desk where Sue worked. In two weeks, I'll be moving to the east side of the building to begin a new assignment. Thinking about this small change creates strange emotions. Other than co-workers, a few people at church, and my landlady, I have no one to keep me here. My children live in Iowa, and there I contract severe asthma because of the humidity - which is why I live in this semi-arid desert. If I had the freedom to do so, however, I would definitely go to my family. As for the boat: faced with a volatile economy, can you sell it? Is it possible to lease it to the Boy Scouts, which might have a seaman's program? In any event, you answered your own question where you said, "...I just sit at the dock and long for the life that once was." Your husband was the greater part of that life, but so were the familiar surroundings, including your old job. I've said a prayer for you, too.

You need to do what your heart is telling you. You don't have to be lonely because it was you and your husbands dream. I think I would go back home at least there is some support there for you. It is lonely enough without our spouses much less living in a town where you don't know anyone. Good luck in your decision