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Reply #1 -
04/07/08
12:02am
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This monday is my 11 week mark.. I truly cant wait till I look at months instead of weeks if that ever happens..I know how you feel that you dont want to burden your friends with your problems.. I have a really hard time reaching out for help. I like you worry too much about how Im going to affect them.. Hard to get past I know. If you need to talk, vent whatever message me and let loose. :) 
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Reply #2 -
04/07/08
12:18am
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my husband didnt die on a monday. but i am right there with you. I dont want to lean on my few friends that I have or my roommate who says that he will take me with him to some of the social functions he goes to ( so I can meet new people) because I just feel like I am intruding on their lives. I dont want to do that . I feel so very alone too. I am so sorry for your loss. but you can always write me and I will listen because you are right. the people on this site are there for you. I can be there for you too.
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Reply #3 -
04/07/08
1:53am
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This coming Friday will be 7 weeks since I lost Mary. I also am the same way. I don't want to burden my family and friends with my problems. They have their own lives to lead and their own problems. But someone told me of this Greif Support group in town and its next thursday so I think I will check it out. Can't hurt. You may want to see if there is one where you are. I am so sorry for your loss.The people here are great and help each other. (((hugs))
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Reply #4 -
04/07/08
9:18am
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I have also always been the strong one. My husban passed away almost 9 months ago. I measured his passing first in days then in weeks and now finally in months. It is hard to believe in 3 months I will be measuring in years. Life does get easier with time you never forget but it gets better.
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Reply #5 -
04/07/08
9:51am
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I had to respond to this, because I lost my husband 1 year and 10 months ago. And What you all feel is very normal. Of course we don't want to burden our friends and family. I too went through this stage. I did not want to share what turmoil was happening inside my soul. I mean how could anyone understand the lost of my friend, my lover, my husband, and my life as I once Knew it. It was there one moment and gone the next. After the first anniv. Things started to get darker and gloomy and all I had was DS. My Ds friends where my lifeline. And I am so grateful that GOD brought me here. I know GOD had complete control, and he was there in the middle of all this. SO back to what was going on, I never talked to them, and I surely wanted to run when they asked "How Are you? And if there is anything they could do for MAtt & I? Something inside me began to get worst. I began getting sick, I began having panic attacks. And for a once independent women, I was now loss. Well this is what I learned. It is ok to tell them. TODAY IS A BAD DAY!!!! I searched out one friend I could vent all day long too. I let them know it was not going good. And If I needed them I would ask. I then went to the drs, seeked counseling, and confided in that one friend. IT helped so much. I turned to GOd and lean on him more and more. ALthough I don't think I do it enough. I also, went to the journal and wrote,. Here is were I let all the emotions come out. You will see some days are Happy and some days are blue, but I learned it is ok to grieve and to allow others know you are grieving.
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Reply #6 -
04/07/08
10:06am
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I know what you are feeling. What is it with the people who say they don't want to call me, they are waiting for me to call them. My mom has only called me 2 times in the 3 plus months from the time Bruce died. She said yesterday that when she called me that 1st week she felt I did not want to talk. I got really mad and said my life just ended what did you want me do to. She thinks I should be happy that I had 24 years most people do not get that. I am tring so hard to be a good christian but that was so hard not to jump through the phone at her. I did tell her you have never lost your husband and the best friend in the world your life is not over mine is... I know this site has been a big help to me and hope that it will be for you
God Bless
Susan
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Reply #7 -
04/09/08
2:42pm
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There is something about Monday's. I lost my best friend of 30 years, 5 months/18 days ago on a Monday. I hate Monday's and don't like to be around people on that day. I found this site about a month ago and it has been very helpful talking with "friends" who understand and support you. I don't have any suggestions for being happy again as I have not idea when that will happen again. It was always fun to laugh and feel good, and I don't want to burden my friends either so I don't call except on an occasion to check in on them and say hi. WE are here to hear each other and be there when needed.
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Reply #8 -
04/09/08
5:02pm
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It's been a little over eight weeks since my husband died. I have a really good friend who has stayed right there with me through it all that I can unload on. Most everyone else have gone on with their lives, which I think is normal for human nature. I know people mean well, but I think deep down inside they're scared of what they see us going through, so they pretend like it never happened. I work in a firm with 28 people so we're like a family, but there are a few who have never even mentioned Don, his illness or his death and have never expressed their condolences. It's like if they ignore it then it will never happen to them. But I'm lucky in that it's just a few ... most everyone else has been wonderful.
Isn't it funny though how the phone calls just stop all of a sudden... it's like you pick up the phone to see if it's still working. And something else I noticed... no one ever mentions your spouse again! Like they never existed ... what's with that?? I'm sure they're afraid we'll get upset if they're mentioned, but it's nice to talk about them and share your memories. What a journey this has been.
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Reply #9 -
04/09/08
6:23pm
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Well, my husband died on Monday, March 10, 2008. So Mondays are tough for me as well, except for this past Monday because I visited Mike (check out the journal). Well, I don't have any family of my own here as we had moved to the States to be with Mike's family. I have no problem asking for help and asking for support, it's just that our mutual family/friends have kinda gotten back to their routines and back to work and things after work and stuff like that. The nights are the worst, after I talk to my best friend and my cousin on msn, and when I checked my e-mails and I have no messages....it's definitely a lonely feeling. I am greatful to have found this site, too; it helps to "be around" people who have been through what I have. And at least I feel like I'm not intruding. I, too, have always tried to be a happy person..and so did Mike. We were a happy couple, as well as happy people individually. I try now to think of the things we used to do and share. At first, I hated the memories because all they did was reenforce the fact that I will no longer have anymore of those memories with him. But I've been trying really hard to find comfort in them. After all, that's all I've got now. So take care, and feel free to message me at anytime.
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Reply #10 -
04/10/08
12:28am
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Well a friend of mine called and we went to dinner tonight and had a really nice talk. She is so great and our personalities are the same, so she completely understands. She told me that I should call her and I just told her flat out that I wouldn't do that. She has a family and school and work, and if she has free time, she can call me, but unless I'm in a bad place and need someone to hold my hand, I probably won't call. She understood and I think she actually will call more often. I guess we just have to let our friends know how we feel about it. I also start seeing a counselor tomorrow, so here's hoping we find a bright spot soon. I am so fortunate to have found this site. You all are amazing people.
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