This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life aft...
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Stress Relief - What Works?
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I thought it might be a good idea to exchange ideas about what works/what you have found to be helpful to deal with the stress that goes with this process we're all in. I have found that the old ways I used to deal with stress aren't helpful. For example, I have to avoid most music because music was such an important part of my relationship with my husband. Sometimes 'retail therapy' helps (I know, I know, typical woman), but not always. I've never been the bubble bath and scented candles type - I just sit in the tub feeling like I should be doing something. Prayer works some days but not always. I've lost interest in most of my hobbies. My social circle has changed now that I'm a widow (we've had a couple discussion threads about that I think). Oddly enough, the single moms I know aren't as stand-offish as they used to be - I guess they see me as one of their own now (not by my choice!) - and it's weird to even use the term 'single' after being married for 30 years.
What helps me: (1) watching DVDs with my sons; (2) getting out and about with my sister; (3) giving my cat way more lap time than he used to get, and of course (4) being here at DS. So what works for you? Hugs all around! Posted on 03/15/08, 07:03 am |
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What works that is a very good topic. Reading mostly, I was given a book call Embraced By The Light By Betty Eadie I can't put it down if this is what it's like when we die then I am ready. I am looking for answers why are we here, the book says we are here to love one another. I keep thinking that there is a reason my husband died. What does our heavenly father want me to do with the rest of my time here on this planet?? So many question so to help me I read and come here for support. Everyone here at DS is the only real support I have.
Susan 
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I, too, have been watching lots of DVD's with my 17 y.o. son. I sometimes worry that we spend too much time together - he should be out with his friends more. It is kind of funny, sometimes, because I find myself not knowing what I want to do when I have free time. I can't even remember what I was interested in before my husband got sick.
I have also started going out with friends more. Weekends are harder because everyone is busy with their spouses, families or dates. I also started a sort of 'scrapbook' on the computer with inspirational sayings, poems and stories. When I feel depresses, I will read some of them. Someday, I will print them all and make a book. Shelly
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The things that help me are writing in my personal journal, spending time with my daughters, working in my yard, sitting on the front porch watching the squirrels and birds (and my cats thinking they are going to catch them) and my friends at DS.
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Good topic, great ideas. I've been reading a book called Widows to Widows by G. Ginsberg. It has been helping, but still looking for answers. I have had several books handed to me that "might be helpful", some I can read and others I can't yet. I'm still looking for the reason my husband was taken helping someone in need. I'm trying to accept it and use prayer more, but am finding it hard. I have a hard time just putting clothes away, so I work to keep the rest of the house picked up. I am looking forward to doing my crafts again one day, but right now want the winter to end so I can get out in the yard to work in the gardens and enjoy the fresh air instead of being stuck inside and looking at the snow. I also agree that DS has been a real support where someone understands.
I have been listening to music and sometimes I feel the songs are playing for me which is comforting sometimes and I break down others. Hugs --
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