This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life aft...
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give me your oppinion
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Many of you may know that my husband died a year ago this past march 2nd. I have done a great deal of healing in that year because of God and God has done an awsome job caring for my boys, I dare say better than my husband ever had. So I don't want to upset the apple cart, but I am needing some male friends. Emphasis on friends, to talk to and get the male perspective without presure. I don't know if I will ever remarry and I know I am definately not ready for that. I do have kids so that is a concern also. The church I am going to has 2 oppinions on this:
1) do not date anyone outside the church 2) guys and gals can not just be friends and should not be caught talking to eachother in private on church property. That there should always be another female present with me. I understand some of this, but it makes it difficult to have a meaningful conversation with anyone; without feeling like your being exposed to everyone within ear shot. I feel I really need some new adult relationships that are not pre judging me based on my loss, and right now I have all the females I can handle. I don't know if any of you can relate. Posted on 03/11/08, 12:03 pm |
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I'm not a man but would like to add my comment if I may. Date Christians, this means any denomination to me. If you are uncomfortable with the church you're in go to another one where you feel comfortable. I attend the Lutheran Church and we have no such rules. 
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I'm with kuhlb22 - I would try another congregation. I don't think you need any additional obstacles, especially those that seem unreasonable on the face of it. The other thing you may wish to consider is doing some volunteer work - it can be a good way to meet like-minded people (both male and female) in a non-threatening setting. Hugs!
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I'm a man (last time I looked I was) and the second rule is one i've never heard of. I think thw two rules should just be sugesstions because the church is afraid you're vunerable right now and "cling on" to the first man that shows concern ( you might think it's love). The first rule is an ancient one of only one religion that was changed by the pope years ago.
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