Widows & Widowers Support Group

Oh my, this sounds like the 6 months I had when my husband died. In January of 2001, my daughter gave birth to a still-born daughter, and my daughter almost died too, having to have 10 pints of blood; my husband was in the process of dying at the time. Then in March my husband DID die of cancer. In April my step-son got married, and in June, my mother-in-law died.

Dearheart, you haven't had TIME to grieve for your dear husband! You were still grieving when his Mom died and then the baby came! You are no-where NEAR done grieving, so how can one expect you to feel JOY??? I'm sure you love this baby ~ no one would doubt this, but the timing sucks. And why are YOU caring for the baby?? The mother should be doing everything, shouldn't she?

Is there nowhere else that your daughter could stay for awhile so you could get thru what you have to get thru? I know that sounds horrible, but you really NEED some time for YOU in order to heal. Perhaps this will help, having the baby around, I don't know. But it would seem to me that some privacy is needed and you don't have any.

Just remember that grieving takes time whether you're alone or not. And you probably wouldn't have felt 'joy'if your mother-in-law hadn't died and your daughter had had the baby a year later. Your grief would still be there only not as new. God bless and just take things a minute at a time. Sometimes that's all we can do. Hugs, Lee