Widows & Widowers Support Group

Bless your heart. I'm so very sorry for your losses. You've been thru enough. You certainly don't need this added pressure.

I don't mean to hurt you, but your daughter certainly sounds very selfish and greedy. She SHOULD be trying to see how she could make YOUR life easier for you right now instead of trying to line her pockets with YOUR money!

You have a perfect right to say NO to her ~ and deny her any more money! If I were you, I'd do the same thing. And I LOVE what you're going to do in your will! Good for you! I'm sure your beloved husband would approve.

The fact that your daughter is not speaking to you right now will be HER cross to bear if she doesn't make amends to you ~ IF you want her to, that is! But please don't make yourself sick over this. Do you have friends that you can spend time with? Or other family members?

Perhaps you can join a Seniors group for socializing. Most cities/town have them, and they have quite alot of fun activities with transportation provided. I'm SURE you'd be a very welcome addition! But please don't let yourself become homebound ~ you seem too vital a person to let that happen.

God bless, dearheart and let us know how you are. Hugs, Lee

Hi Leeall,
Thank you for responding. I do not have any friends here except at work at the hospital. They are mostly younger than I am. I am still alittle young for seniors group as I will be 57 in September. I don't really want to do any socializing anyway it is very hard for me to make myself leave the house except on workdays. I work 3 twelve hour shifts a week. That is about all my feet and legs can stand. I aprreciate hearing from eveeryone and anyone in this group. I send you a hug and flowers.
Janet

I think you are doing the right thing. My prayers go out to you. I also lost my husband last year to cancer and I know it's hard to deal with. May God be with you in all you do. Love from Ginny

Please don't feel that you are all alone because there's so many of us here to lift you up and comfort you. I'm sure it would mean a whole lot more coming from your daughter but since that's not happening at the moment I hope you will find the support you need here.

As far as your decision about the financial help to her and her husband, I think you're doing exactly the right thing. There isn't anything written anywhere that we are obligated to help ungrateful children. If and and when she should ever come to her senses and start to treat you with the respect that you, as her mother, deserves then you might reconsider things but until then I think you're doing what you should. God bless you through this difficult time.
Hugs, Judi

I agree with everyone else. You have made a good sound decision about your daughter and your situation. Stick with it. You have to take care of YOU first.

Hugs & prayers coming your way!

Jan

Take care of YOURSELF first. That is what your husband and your mother would want. My
husband told my brother to keep between me and his youngest son. He calls me every few days
and wants money or something. I told him yesterday that I have a $1000 house ins. bill to pay. Who is going to help me with that?
I dont owe anyone anything. Neither do you.
I have worked hard for over 30 yrs and they
were not there.
Anyway, you are doing the right thing. They have to stand on their own.
Linde

The great thing about a will is that if your situation changes, you can make a new one. I re-thought some of the provisions of mine since my husband's death and made a new will with a few changes because I realized it was important for my peace of mind. At this stage, you have a better idea of what you do and don't want to do, and that's good. Like you, I'm too young for the 'seniors' groups, but apparently too old for the 'young widows/widowers' groups - I guess we're at that 'awkward age' (like teenagers) all over again. Sounds to me like volunteering with your local humane society would give you a lot of satisfaction and help you make like-minded friends. The humane societies always need volunteers and truly appreciate whatever help they can get. Just a thought. Hugs!