This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life aft...
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My BFF's recently widowed husband....
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This is new territory for me ... my best friend died on June 9th.. we were very close and met regularly for coffee.. now that she is gone I have tried to call her husband every few weeks to see how he is doing.. he says he's doing pretty good.. working hard and playing golf in his downtime... he has 2 children in their 20's...his wife was chronically ill before she died.. they had a housekeeper and he cooked or ate out... they were each others friend and didn't have alot of couple friends due to my friends health... he says he's doing ok and partly because he was so independent while married if that is how to put it..
This may be a dumb question but I'm not sure if I'm bugging him by calling to check how he's doing.. I saw him with my friend and I worked for his business a few days but that was the extent of our relationship... I know my friend would want us to maintain a relationship and she often said that he considered me his friend too...... How should I carry on with this relationship? I really don't want to overstep boundaries... Posted on 08/09/08, 12:08 am |
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A sympathy card says a lot. I know the first couple of weeks people would come by with cards and that said enough for me and I really appreciated that. 
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Your friend's hubby is probably feeling relief right now. I had to care for my hubby for several years and when he passed, I felt as tho the burden had been lifted from me and I could breath again. As long as I had things to do, I didn't dwell on what his loss meant to me. The sad times come when birthdays, anniversaries and holidays come along. You may be more support to im right now than you know. Grief recovery takes time and he will go thru many stages. Don't stop offering your friendship now. He'll need it a little later down the road-----when others think he should be over it. His other friends who have never dealt with a loss like this will have expectations and a specified "time" when they think he should be over it. Just don't be one of "those". Hang in there with him. You'll be a good friend to him and he'll appreciate that some day. Hugs, Sharon
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I dont see anything wrong with giving him a call occasionally to see how he is doing. Every couple of weeks, once a month, whatever. I get a call about every 2 weeks from my nephew on my husbands side and have been since he passed. It means alot to me that he cares enough to think about me. Sometimes we just need to know people still care..
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My husband died on Dec 29 of 2007 and one of his friends calls me and I call him almost daily. He lives very far away but is helping me with alot of stuff, things Bruce always took care of. I did not know him very well, but we are becoming good friends and it helps to talk to others that valued Bruce's friendship. So don't stop calling.....
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