Widows & Widowers Support Group

Linda,
12 weeks wow I can't even remember then I was so numb. This site and the wonderful people here are what got me through and the one day at a time thing was right on. Hang in there and pray. Hugs to you today
Susan

It's been 19 weeks for me. I just try to keep moving. I do volunteer work, exercise and attend a Coping with Loss group. It is getting a little better. I don't do much, but I make plans, if that makes any sense.

I see that you're employed, and I'm assuming after 12 weeks you're back at work? For now, just to make it to work 5 days a week is enough of a goal for you. I find that I can go to work and I'm grateful for the distraction, but when I get home I can't do much else. I just have no energy left it seems, but I don't let it bother me. I need to set aside time to grieve. It's okay if I don't feel like leaving the house. It's okay if I want to stay on the couch all afternoon.

My wife died 16 months ago and I still have that feeling of emptiness inside. Everyone is different and grieves slightly differently due to their beliefs, values and the relationship they had. What I have learned though is that we have thoughts which are nice and logical and tell us what we "should" be doing but at the same time we have feelings that are random and haphazard. I have learned to simply follow my feelings and not feel guilty about them. Keeping busy seems to help as does the support and comfort on DS but in the end we have to grieve and grieve in our own way. My thoughts are with you. Good luck.

Lots of good advice here. Yes the work thing
takes it out of me. Keeps me busy most of the time, but I still think about losing Jimmy.
He had some things wrong with him, and I know
I am feeling sorry for myself without him.
But it is allowed, and think of all the times when he just hurt and didnt feel like doing things. Well, I am able to do most anything
and need to thank Jimmy for being there as long as he was.
Linde

Well it has been 10months 17days & I'm still dealing w/his loss but the one thing that GIVES ME JOY IS KNOWING THAT HE IS WITH THE HEAVENLY FATHER!!! I just try to keep busy, sometimes I don't even knowwhat I'm doing, brain farts LOL...Surround ur self w/good christian friends & when you see something that your loved one liked or loved just REMEMBER THOSE TIMES!!!! I'm still moving & rearranging the house, getting his clothes & shoes together is ONE STEP AT A TIME!!!! I felt NUMB for 3-4 months before coming out of the haze, but sometimes I wish I was still in that HAZE!!! Just hang in there!!! My PRAYERS ARE W/YOU, I TALK TO GOD ALL THE TIME, THAT HELPS!!!! Love ya, Karen

Linde, you are so "young" in the grieving process. Don't let the things get you down that you can't do yet. They will be there when you are ready and you will know when that will be. Just go slow and do only what you need to do. Don't try to rush anything. At this time, more than any other time, YOU need to come first, you need to take care of yourself. It's such a gradual thing getting through grief and it will zap alot of your energy. So use that as your excuse not to go too fast. You have to go through grief to get through it and there's no way around it. But take your time and don't push yourself too hard. We're all here when you need the encouragement and the support that it's going to take to get you through this. Prayers and Hugs! Judi

It has only been 16 weeks and still seems like a bad dream. Talking helps, find someone who listen, friend, family, pastor. It helps me to talk about him a lot, I don't care if no one is tired of it. I pray, and I have reading "Finding your way after your spouse dies" by Marta Felber, it makes you cry, but it has been helping, short chapters. You are in my thoughts.

It's been 6 months and 3 weeks for me and I still feel that same emptiness that you are feeling. Not every minute, but many minutes. I'm like you and just can't seem to make myself stay busy. I've found the best thing I can do is just cry until I can't cry anymore, then I'm tired and can sleep and then I start all over the next day. Some day it may get easier, but not this day.
Praying for you, Sally

12 weeks today for Jimmy. Seems like a monumental number. But each and every day have
brought you friends here, lots of support from family and friends. Most people that dont know this loss of life for both of us, just cant understand. I had a Harley tshirt. Said
If I have to explain it to you, then you wouldnt understand" That applies to us, too.
I am doing fairley deccent today. But when
the empty hits, all you can do is make it
thru.
Thank you my friends
Linde