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Advice:
overcome anger
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Is anyone else just plain angry at your spouse for dying? I am finding that more and more, I'm just pissed at him for passing away. So much was left undone and I'm not sure I can handle it all. It will be a year in August since his passing. I took care of all the immediate processes and paperwork needing to be done but now I'm left with just a lot of resentment about being alone to face the world. Don't suggest talking to family members. I have a son, d in law, a grandbaby who is one and a daughter and that's all the family I am left with. They have to deal with their own "recovery". I just know one thing, I'm slipping in a big way and can't recover until I resolve the anger. What's going to help?
Posted on 07/29/08, 08:07 pm
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Reply #11 - 07/30/08  6:42pm
" It's helping me to know that I'm still in the healing process. I just didn't want to be stuck here with the anger. From the comments recieved, I am confidant that it's also another "stage" and that it will pass. Thanks to you all who took time to comment and soothe my mind. I'm sorry that any of us have to even deal with this. Hugs to you all, Sharon "
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Reply #12 - 07/30/08  9:47pm
" This is so important a topic. My brother is going thru a lot of grief and depression over my husbands death. He gets hurt and angry at his family when they dont understand. He seems
to feel guilty about getting angry about things. It is part of the process, and I cant be angry at Jimmy for being out of pain. I am
angry that he didnt get the extra chance at life after weeks of preparation and suffering with this open heart surgery.
Love and Hate is a fine line, they say. For all the love you felt, equal parts of hate
for everything comes out. More room out
than there is in.
Depression is anger turned inward.
Jimmy would be angry at me if I let that
happen. "
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Reply #13 - 07/31/08  1:27am
" I think this is a good topic too. I hope it keeps going for a while. I think this is a side of grief that we don't devote enuf focus on. Everyone thinks that we should be just torn up with sorrow but I'm getting the feeling that we feel uneasy about expressing the anger. Thanks for all the comments. Maybe we will get that ugly side of grief out in the open and get on with the healing. "
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Reply #14 - 07/31/08  7:24am
" I was really mad for a while. Took me a while to figure out who I was mad at. Couldn't be mad at Ronnie cause he told me if it was his choice he would stay with me forever. Not God cause he took him quickly and ended his suffering. I am totally mad at the cancer. Not that I can do alot about that though. The anger comes and goes, my son told me the other day he was going to get me a punching bag. I hate this feeling because usually I am a very happy, loving person. Or should I say I was. Don't know if I will ever be the same or not. Hugs to all, Pam "
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Reply #15 - 07/31/08  8:47am
" I lost my son to sucide a little over a year ago, and the anger was almost instant. i still feel it on days like today his daughter's 19th birthday. But i also have come to understand, he was dealing with physical recovery to his face that was going to be long and painful, he had lost his wife and kids, his home and job. but i think his inability to share his deep feelings was what fed the depression, that never showed. i talk to their pictures, expressing my anger and frustration as well as love. at first it is venting with a lot of emotion now it is sadness with a coming resigination. life is hard but God is good. Healing happens one moment at a time. Be good to yourself. "
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Reply #16 - 07/31/08  11:37am
" I can feel all of your pain. I'm so sorry for all of you. I'm so glad we all have each other here. Bless the DS originators. I think I'll recover at a better pace now that I have found DS and have a lot of new friends with a lot in common. "
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