Widows & Widowers Support Group

My guess is he is so afraid of losing you he wants to distant himself as you age thinking that then the loss would be easier to deal with! Young people often say things without thinking first! You know him best so I am just guessing that he loves you very much!

Oh my gosh, did you ask him why? My son is in his early teens, and devastated over the loss of his dad, but is scared to death of losing me too. I agree with Tikibell, it's the only thing that makes any sense! I'd give him some time, but would definitely talk to him before he does something he's sure to regret later.

My children are the complete oppisite. They hover over me like I am going somewhere. I heard it was normal to be overprotective of the remaining parent. I think your son is trying to prepare himself for something that hopefully is long off. Talk to him about what he meant by his comment

I kinda know what they feel. For myself I feel like I could never get close to another man again, not only because noone could replace my guy but I also never want to experience this pain ever again.. I would rather live alone. Im guessing like it was said that he feels like if he distances himself that it wont hurt so much when your time comes. Unfortunately he isnt realizing he will not only miss you but will also regret not having spent valuable time with you as well. Hopefully he will realize what he is thinking and decide he is going about it the wrong way.. Hugs to you.

Thank-you so much for your understanding, insights and suggestions! That was so sweet of you people! It means a lot to have people on my side when I'm feeling so down. I will try to talk to him about it, get to the bottom of it. Thanks again for all your help and support!

Thank-you again to everyone for all your help and support. I tried your suggestions and talked to him about it. Apparently what my son said came out wrong, and it's not the way he feels, and it's all straightened out. :) I was confused, wondering if this was some kind of New Age thinking or something. I feel so much better now. It's hard to have problems like that when you've recently lost your husband. Thanks again for all the insights, ideas and supportiveness. :)

I know all about confused. :) Glad to hear it had a good ending.

In my humble opinion:
It sounds like loosing one parent made him realize hes going to loose the other. It's not about you as a mom or a good person. While I think its pretty inappropriate i think he was just looking at how the structure of his life will change.

Perhaps, consider telling him that you know peoples roll change with age and death but you were disturbed by what he said.

There is the chance hes dealing with the pain of loss by trying to isolating himself now and trying to prevent more loss in the future. I've done this.