Video Game Addiction Support Group

I am glad that you don't seem to have any problem with video game addiction. If I understand what you are trying to say correctly, it is that there are worse addiction problems out there. That, to me, is debatable, irrelevant and not very constructive here as advice to help people in need. If you read the stories here and at other related support sites, like at OLGA, you will find that, for at least some people, this problem can be very damaging regardless of how it may possibly compare to people addicted to something else.

Contrary to the staement "there are worse addictions than gaming" My point is that we have one life. We must choose our battles with care. I still after 4 years of not playing EQ, wish very much for the stimulation that I got from playing that game. Rather, I see many spouses throwing in the towel due to the disconnection caused by video game addiction. While this may be taking a toll on their life at this time, The odds that someone will stay addicted to a game forever is quite minimal. Again, I don't say this to offend. Sometimes however when we look at someone elses struggles, such as suddenly losing a child or having a spouse that may be just as detached because they just got sturck with a major illness for example. It helps us realize that maybe there are more reserves of patience, strength, love, etc. that we can call on before throwing in the towel.

The bottom line is "don't give up!" No matter what, even if you need to look at starving people who have nothing or a someone who has never been so fortunate as to be in a relationship, for your motivation.

As stated in the first post, this was not meant to be offensive. Rather to encourage people to look around and appreciate what they have.

When my daughter was struck with an auto immune disease that has her confined to a house and unable to live a normal childhood. I look to parents of children with whom have terminal illness or with whom they have lost, for my motivation to stay positive and see things through.

Thank you, OpportunityKnocks, for your clarifications. However, please excuse how long this reply is but I have to disagree somewhat with 2 of your statements. First, there is "The odds that someone will stay addicted to a game forever is quite minimal". What is your source for that information? I have read many thousands of posts regarding gaming addiction, such on this site, WoWDetox and, especially, on OLGA. Although, obviously, none of the people were addicted to anything "forever", there are many examples of people who were addicted to one or more games and were not seemingly going to change at any time in the future unless they were either forced to (e.g., on the street homeless with no computer) or decided themselves to do it. Also, even if they don't stay on one game forever, they will almost always go onto another game. Just like with other addictions, such as alcohol and drugs, there is usually no "time limit" where it will expire after a period of time.

Next, you say "The bottom line is "don't give up!"". However, keep in mind that there is nothing that anybody can really do to force an addict to face up to their problems and change them. The addict has to do that on their own, although their loved ones, along with sites like this one, can really help them. I have read quite a few stories where the addict has claimed that they will choose the game over their spouse and children. Although I agree that one should not give up easily, everybody has to also consider their own needs as well as the needs of their children. I have read quite a few stores of cases where the threat of leaving has woken up a gaming addict and helped them to realize that they needed to change, with a happy ending of them changing in time. However, I have also read that any such threat cannot be hollow, i.e., you have to be serious about it if you try that. Also, I have read several stories of people who have had to, unfortunately, leave an addicted gamer and are now considerably happier, but also a few where the person is struggling a lot afterwards so this is definitely more of a last resort, but still an option to consider to use if need be.

Gaming addiction is similar to other types of addictions, such as alcohol and drugs, in many ways, including how it affects the brain through the release of dopamine. As such, its end results are also, unfortunately, also quite similar in many ways.

I don't want to start any kind of "flame war" or anything, and I apologize in advance if I have misunderstood anything that you said, but I felt that I needed to respond to give my view points on these important matters.

JoDOe, you apology is not necessary for the way you understand my post or the way you feel about it. The whole point is that the discussion takes place. It is certain that in many homes across America and beyond, excessive gaming is disrupting many lives. Yes it can alter the dopamine levels of its abusers, in much the same way depression takes over its victoms. I do not deny these facts. I too have been there.

The statement "odds are someone will not stay addicted forever" Is as true of a statement as any based on current demographics and common sense. The majority of gamers are from the ages 9-14. The majority of gamers that are "addicted" are in there 20's & 30's. Try as hard as you like, you will find very few men and women over 40 that are addicted to gaming, including those that once were (again this is based on what age groups buy and continue to play games and my opinion). Unlike alcohol or drugs, which starts with an affect on the brain, and later becomes a serious physical dependency/illness.

In my opinion (key word "my"), while the root of ones excessive gaming can vary all over the place from being depressed, or from just getting caught up in fun or false reality, or from getting depressed from getting caught up etc. It is the root of the problem and not just the excessive gaming that must be addressed. What brought them to a point where they afforded themselves the time to play so much? Did it start out as playing for fun and not being able to stop? Mostly likely yes. So based on your dopamine theory lets put them all on dopamine blockers and they will quit through lack of stimulation. Or if that doesn't work, perhaps it will force people to look deeper at what is causing these people to disconnect from reality. Regardless if your life is being disrupted by games, drugs, crackberry's, excessive shopping, etc. You must deal with the root of the problem. And YOU CAN NEVER GIVE UP! does that mean that you stay with someone that has chosen their addiction over you and your children? I am a father of 4 girls. Of course that comes first. But I am also a husband to a wife with Severe OCD, Anxiety, Eating disorders, Not to mention post pardum depression. There have been times when it seemed she wasn't even there, that she had changed into someone else, and that I even worried how her presence in our lives would affect the children. However after some years later, we have hung in there and have a deeper understanding and bond than ever before. My wife appreciates me for being there and I have a stronger bond with my kids, because of the time I spent with them while mommy was out in left field. And no matter what tribulation, addiction, or crisis that I may go through down the road. I know that she will never give up. She may no like it and it may be hurtful, but my loved ones will be there to love me.

This is a decision that everyone must make for themselves. Wether to waste part of your life standing by someone's side, and going through hell not knowing that there will be a good result.

Please remember that we all have opinions on this and other matters. And every opinion counts. You never know which of our opinions could help someone. That is why the original post is titled "its all in the eye of the beholder".

Once again, OpportunityKnocks, thank you for explaining further. I basically agree with most of what you say except for your statement about the demographics. First, although it is not particularly common, there are still quite a few addicted gamers that are older as well. I, myself, am 45 and I know of others in their 40's, 50's and 60's. Also, keep in mind that an important reason that many older people are not addicted to video games is just simply because they did not grow up with them and, as such, often don't play them at all, or at least not very much. Thus, games are not something that they would usually consider as a form of escape and, instead, use other means. This issue is something that, it seems, we may just have to agree to disagree on.

While video game addiction may not be as deadly as crack it's all relative to the person. Some people just don't know how prioritize. As with anything, if you let too much of something overtake your sense of responsibility then don't be suprirsed when your quality of life starts going down the drain. Hell, cooking can be harmless but if you're in the kitchen 23 hours out of the day and you start neglecting your kids and misssing work just to be that last batch of pancakes then yeah, you might have a problem. Just because it's a normal activity for most people does not mean it can't be destructive when horribly abused. Listen, I'm all for looking on the brighter side of things but don't come here and downplay someone's problem just because it doesn't invlove snorting something up your nose. If people are losing everything they have to gaming then it's something that should obviously be taken seriously.