Game addiction is a form of psychological addiction related to a compulsive use of computer and video games, most notably MMORPGs - open ended, online video games known for their d...
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My last boyfriend of a year and a half played WOW. He ignored me, while I made him dinner, did his laundry, his homework... etc. I broke up with him and he quit playing, he realized what the game had done to us. I started seeing Prince Charming, fell madly in love, and he admitted being an EX WOW user. He had been clean for the 8 months we've been dating... so I thought. He's been hiding playing WOW for the last 6 months... and I don't understand why he would lie about it, or why he would even continue playing the game. This game cost him his college degree. 5 years and still not even an associates, his last relationship ended because of this game... he has no job, he just admitted to failing another semesters worth of classes and my question is this. Why is he willing to spend the time and effort gaining the gold and having three level 70s, if he doesn't have the effort to go to class, to go to the gym anymore, to do his laundry, to be honest and open in our relationship? WOW is hard work. It takes time and patience and effort... why does he spend all of his effort in his fantasy world, and let his real life fall apart around him? He's tall dark and handsome, smart as can be. Went from straight A's to failing simply because he didn't go to class; he was too busy playing. He's clocked in 180 days on ONE CHARACTER ALONE over the last 2 years. I don't know how to help him... can I help him?
Posted on 12/26/07, 03:12 pm |
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As for why he continues to play despite what it has done to his life, there are many possibilities. However, one them is quite likely that he is using it as an escape mechanism. Being tall, dark, handsome and smart does not necessrily mean that he is happy. Anthony Robbins in one of his books (I think that it was the "Giant Within" one) talks about Elvis Presley. Now, here was a man who seemed to have it all, with his good looks, fame, wealth, etc. However, despite all of that, he was not very happy. Instead, he was doing things like overeating and taking various drugs to help him cope. As such, it can unfortunately happen to almost anyone.
As for helping him, there is only so much that you can do. He has to want to help himself. First off, though, he has to admit that he has a problem. It is not clear from what you wrote whether or not he even has admitted that to himself. However, I strongly suspect that he knows already even if he is in self-denial. Although he will need to do most of the work on recovery himself, you can help him in certain ways. First off, don't enable his addiction. For example, unlike with your last boyfriend, DON'T make his dinner, do his laundry, do his homework, etc. All that you are really accomplishing by doing that is making it easier for him to keep playing. Also, be honest and open with him. I suspect that, especially if you told him about your last boyfriend, he was afraid that if he told you about his WoW playing that you would leave him. If that is not the case, please let him know but also make sure that he realizes that you will only stay with him if he makes an effort to help himself. In addition, since he is unable to stop by himself, he should get assistance such as counselling to determine whatever underlying issues may be causing him to play and what he can do to address those issues. Also, he should join this community here and/or other ones that provide help for addicted video gamers such as OLGA. I wish you and your boyfriend the best of luck. However, as with your last boyfriend, I think that you know that you have to keep open the option of leaving this one as well if he is not willing to do the work that is required to recover. 
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I agree with Jo - it is definitely TOUGH LOVE that is needed here, as with any addiction and that is the hardest thing for a partner to do. Good luck to you...:)...C X
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From my experiance, there is nothing YOU can do...but take care of YOURSELF. I'm really sorry that you're going through this.
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