Urinary Incontinence Support Group

What I really want is someone to talk to. Now I don’t mean an “internet chat buddy” or that stuff. But a real adult who I can confide in and talk candidly to. Someone who will really listen and contribute to the conversation. I don’t want sympathy or anything else. I just want to really reach someone.

Is that too hard to ask for?

My wife is great but I can’t talk about this stuff to her. She can’t talk about any of my sexual issues nor can she confront the fact that I have to wear diapers. She understands but its also hard for her to deal with and she can’t talk to me about it or at least she can’t talk to me the way I need to talk to someone.

Sometimes I want to rail against everything. Sometimes I just need to vent. I know my moods and thoughts are impacted by my condition. When the hormones are really flowing and I’m very sexually stimulated, I can be very frustrated and very turned on at the same time. For some reason, what I really want to do is just talk to someone. I don’t even bother telling my wife when I start having spontaneous orgasms. She can’t handle it. The worst thing she will say is something like: “If you want to fool around, let me know.” This will be said in a very bored or annoyed way. I’m not interesting in “fooling around”. What I want is to not be distracted or not to be alone.

This is all hard to describe. I’m writing this right now to distract myself and its isn’t really working. I’m so turned on and frustrated that I’m felling very sad and alone. The orgasms feel good but they won’t stop and I don’t’ want them. The better they feel the more alone and vulnerable I feel. Its like they are good but they make me feel empty and hollow at the same time, all while being sexually charged. I just want a real release but nothing is working this morning. My wife’s attitude of boredom turns me off of sex, masturbation or the vibrator isn’t effective. I can forget about my wife doing anything to help. She hasn’t touched me in about 2 years.

I think I’m going to try something completely different, I’m going to go outside for a walk or run. Usually physical activity will quite things down but I’m not sure when it goes this far. I just can’t sit here and do nothing. I don’t want to feel sad and turned on at the same time.

Of course going walking or running isn’t easy or comfortable when wearing a diaper. But maybe that will help in this instance. The leg gathers on the plastic pants can be uncomfortable.

Yes. That’s exactly what I’ll do – right freaking now.

This is maddening. I have to do something....
Posted on 03/29/08, 12:03 pm