Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group

Firstly, i disagree, having your friend know will make life so much easier because 1) you won't have a secret from her and 2) talking about iy helps.

It is understandable that she is ignornat to trich but if she really is a true friend, and she sounnds concerned and that she wants to help, then she will research the long word 'trichotillomania' and learn as much as she can about it. You can tell her how you want her to react - whether or not you want to talk about it or whether you just want her to know so she knows!

I thought about a hair volumiser but ultmatley like you knew it wasn't a cure. If it would helop your confidence and help you to get out of the habit from pulling and you can afford it then i think it's a good idea.
Look into differnet hair treatments.

When you ring the salon - tell them Don't be ashamed or embarassed. Try and find one who know about trich or have experience of it. Post them info about it or tell them you don't want any questions asked. I've been to the hairdressers twice - different ones since i started pulling and i didn't pluck up the courage to tell them about trich so i understand what a hard thing it is and how hypocritical it is of me!

Think about telling your friend or writing it in a letter? Let me know what you decide xxxx stay strong!

I think that she sounds like a wonderful person and friend and would perhaps be a good person to test the waters with about being open about your trich. I know it is so scary- I've been there. But trust me, it is such a relief once someone knows.

Just be careful that the people that you tell are not gossips or have loose lips. Untill you are ready for everyone to know about your trich, it is important to only share with very trustworthy, loyal people.

well in my opinion having a friend know actually makes it easier. at least for me it has. a few of my close friends know and whenever they see me about to pull theyll slap my hand or tell me to stop. it made me more alert of when i am.

maybe the extensions could so some good and make you feel like the hair is back, gaining more confidence and helping rememeber what it used to look like.

sorry if this isnt any help lol.

well in my opinion having a friend know actually makes it easier. at least for me it has. a few of my close friends know and whenever they see me about to pull theyll slap my hand or tell me to stop. it made me more alert of when i am.

maybe the extensions could so some good and make you feel like the hair is back, gaining more confidence and helping you remember what it used to look like.

sorry if this isnt any help lol.

I wish when I tried to tell my two best friends, on separate times - now several years ago- that they didn't look at me like I had now become this different person in their eyes. Maybe I wasn't that confident telling them - and I was cautious of how they would react - and the minute I sensed they were not "getting it" - I switched gears and told them - no it's mostly really nutritional. Which is why this board is such a help, really. Everyone here "get it." Thank God. So I guess I don't want any of them to know because they just don't understand - or accept it in me? I don't know, but - as you said BabyPanPlayer - it is so helpful to be able to talk about and share how you feel about it. Ah well. I can share here! (smile).

Faith if they are truly your friends they will not think any less of you for having Trich. They already know that you are lossing hair and are trying to help. Annoying as that is to you. So that should show you that they stand by you. Would they go running and tell everyone that you got hair replacement therapy? Then I doubt they are going to go shouting about your Trich.

After you tell them about Trich you can decide how you want the relationship to go, if you want them to remind you when you are pulling or not.
I bumped up my post - How to help someone to Stop Pulling. You might find the way that my fiance helps me might work for you.

What worries me the most is that you wouldn't stand up to her and just tell her that you were not interested in going to the Clinic. Do you have an issue about confrontations? You didn't have to say anything about Trich to refuse. Just firmly say Thank you but I'm not interested in looking into that right now.

Hi CrzyChick,
Yes, I didn't really want to tell her. I didn't tell her because I didn't want to have to re-tell her the "why". The reason I am not interested is because the clinic won't help - I can regrow my own hair if I can just leave it alone. The real solution is not external. It's frustrating, but I feel better about not having to tell people who I really don't think will really understand. So I have a question. Does anyone worry at all about the people you tell about pulling telling others, even in a well meaning way? I guess that's strength - to not really care what others think or say because they will do it anyway. I don't know...

Faith, yes definitely. I told one loyal friend and she kept it a secrey for months even from my parents. I trusted her and she never betrayed that. She just said - i will help you get through this and stand by your decisions whilst also gently 'forcing' me to tell others and we went to the doctors together etc.

Some people i have told i have my suspicions they have told others but only in a well meaning way and it was when i stopped pulling and felt happy explaining my hair loss to others because i thought it was all over and cured and my hair was growing back etc,

So far i haven't had a negative experience with people knowing - other than the first doctor my friend made me see which didn't help!

Choose wisely. remember what being friends is all about! :) xxx

No one that hasn't dealt with it is going to understand it. I know I wouldn't. But if I had a friend that opened up to me and told me and they explained it and maybe gave me info on it or a website to look at it would help. Either way I would still stand by them. If they asked me not to say anything I wouldn't. I could see how it would be embarrassing for others to know (esp for us women).

Saying all that as one that didn't know now I'll say it as me. I've told ppl even before I knew that I had Trich. (that it had a name and was a "real" medical problem). My friends knew my lashes and brows were missing, how could they not when I wouldn't leave the house until I had locked myself in the bathroom to put on my face. I just told them that for some reason I started pulling at them in high school and I haven't been able to stop myself even tho I've tried. That I tend to do it more when I'm upset. I never had any not be my friend after that. They just accepted that I wore extra makeup and off we would go. Friends like YOU not your hair.

As for telling others? Not that I know of. No one has ever just walked up and pointed it out in a way that seemed that had heard it from someone else and just had to check it out. I have had ppl notice and ask me on the spot tho.

This has been said before. Trich lives in secret. If you bring him out in the light he loses his power over us. You start to gain the control of your life back.

Trust your friends, explain it honestly, tell them how hard it's been to open up and the fears you have of other ppl finding out. I bet you will be surprised at the support you get from them.

You reminded me CrzyChick of insensitive people in the world. I was driving in a car once with the top down. In the sun, I guess my sparse hair showed more - like it does now - This guy drove up beside me - a stranger - and yells out - Hey, what happened to your hair?I called back - What happened to your manners?! And drive away. I wish I could step on the gas and drive away from trich. But I am going to fight. I want the upper hand. i am fighting for a pull free day. Where I am aware, I am in control, and when I pull - I will remind myself to stop while I am aware of it. I don't want hair replacement - I want being in control of how I feel and response replacement. I'll mark my progress and renewed commitment on my pull free a thon.