Transgender Support Group

Tell your friend that you are a WOMAN. Even if you don't have the sexual parts(YET),that you are a woman,and should refer to you as a female around his children and around other people.

Sit down and talk with him,though,and see what his issue is.

But,really,if he can't accept you,it's time to dump his ass. There will always be more understanding and accepting people.

Update: Well Aaron came over yesterday to apologize to me about the things he had said, which I gave him a chance to talk, but your right, it was time to dump him. I'm sure that I can find new friends that are more understanding.

There is a difference between our inner reality and our public one. You may be a woman on the inside, but your public personna may present cognitive incongruities while you are in transition.

You could demand that everyone treat you with all the privileges of your inner reality. But, their experience of "you" may only be what they see, hear, smell, etc....those things by which they evaluate everyone.

Your friend is in a bit of a spot. He did ask you to come over and spend time with he and the kids (not sure whose kids they are). His standards, though, for your behavior while around children over whom he had responsibility were apparently different than yours. You seem unaware of your incongruent appearance, or indifferent to it, but he obviously took the heat (he felt) for how you looked around his kids.

He probably his ok being around you, but it sounds like you embarrassed him in front of his kids. His belief about your behavior is probably different than yours. You feel (perhaps rightly) that you have a gender disorder and that that not only gives you a right, but an imperative to act according to your target gender. He may have other feelings about that.

Until you have reached a consensus about your situation, if you want to maintain this friendship, I'd minimize your overt gender expressions that are "optional" when meeting with he and his loved ones. Your view of "looking nice" for an occasion may be different than his. He may have preferred help from someone who wouldn't have raised questions he had to field because your overall presentation is not yet congruent. In other words, painting your nails and women's sunglasses may make you feel like you're presenting an appropriate, female personna, but your other gender cues may be saying something else in a voice that is louder than paint and accessories.

Your time with your friend wasn't a date. Maybe when helping friends with their children you should think more of what would be the least problematic presentation of yourself in this situation, rather than the most provocative...unless your objective is to receive negative attention from your friend due to your actions (which you probably knew how he felt before you dolled up to see his kids and help him out).

Doll up for going out...not for helping out.

I've taken everything into consideration about your post, and thanks for the advice.

Update:
I continued my friendship with Aaron, and had invited him over for a chit chat. He parked his car, and got out to talk to me. Our conversation was interrupted by his ringing cell phone, and so our conversation was put on hold. I slowly walked away, to give Aaron privacy, while talking to his friend, but I over herd the conversation that he had on the cell phone, expressing his true feelings, in which will either change my friendship with him or end it quickly for my own safety.