Transgender identity includes many overlapping sub-categories. These include transsexual; cross-dresser; transvestite; consciously androgynous people; genderqueer; people who live ...
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My husband recently told me he's transgender
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Hello to all. I'm new on here, needed some support from others who may be in same situation. My husband just recently told me he is transgender. He knew that something was wrong with him all along but wanted to block it out. But his feelings could not go away any longer and now he knows why. I know why he goes through depression now and how he is at times.He feels that he is a female on the inside. I am trying to understand this and be supportive. But after 20 yrs. of marriage and now this. I feel hurt, angry, and confused. I can't tell friends or family. I then try to think "why did you marry me?" I just have all these mixed emotions going through me right now and don't know how to handle all this. I love him and want to be there for him, I just don't know how to handle this. Anyone out there to help me would be appreciated.
Posted on 05/14/08, 02:05 am |
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First off, just because he is transgendered does not mean he can't love you just as much as he did when he married you. That being said, you should be extremely happy that he told you. From what I've read most just take to crossdressing and seeking alternative relationships. The best advice I can give is not to add to his strife and do your best to support him and love him. From what I've learned, we love people for what is wrong with them, not for what is right about them.
Sorry if I came across as bitchy, that wasn't my goal. But if you go into my journal there are some good links for things and I'll give you some others if you would like them. 
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I think Felicity said it well. Just because a person has changed does not mean you can't continue to love him. I myself still trying to understand the transgender world, and I would be glad to hear how you are dealing with your husband come out.
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Thanks for the replies Felicity and mzgodfearing. We have talked some more and yes, he still loves me and I love him. I have been researching more on this transgender to understand what he is going through. I know it isn't easy but I'm sure we can work through this. For the crossdressing part, that is going to take some use to. But I welcome any other information you can give. It is good though that he did tell me, I know it was hard for him to do so. I guess we have to take it from there.
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I'm glad I could help, if you ever need to ask anything, feel free to message me. I'm always up for helping others.
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If you relax a little and talk to him, ask alot of questions. My wife and I did this about a week before our first anniversary, and she is very comfortable and actually embraces it. It made us have alot of fun together, and this was just about 19 days ago. We even went shopping for clothes wigs and the whole nine yards. Look at it this way: this is something that's probably been eating your husband up on the inside since he was probably a teen or before. I'd guess he just wants to be himself. So just listen to him, don't talk to him when he's mad, really sit down and talk to him, he needs you now more than he has in his entire life. Even if you don't agree or accept it, just listen. We can talk anytime naukana, ok? Here or direct email. *hugs*
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IVE BEEN TRYING TO STOP THINKING ABOUT MY OWN DILEMA,BUT ITS NOT GOING TOO WELL IVE BECOME DEPRESSED,ANGRY AND THE FEELINGS BELOW ARE NOT VERY DESIRABLE, DONT KNOW HOW LONG I CAN PUT UP WITH THIS, IF HES ANYTHING LIKE ME BUT TO TRY TO LIVE LIKE A MAN AFTER YEARS OF TREATMENT IS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT, I SUPPOSE IVE BECOME SELF DESTRUCTIVE, THE ONLY REASON TO FIGHT IT IS MY KIDS
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how many people who are transgender were molested or raped... the two people i know were both... as was i... just …
I am not Transgender, but i am gay. I have alot of respect for the transgender community. You guys are awsome.
Is anyone else here that is a teenage transgender?
