Transgender identity includes many overlapping sub-categories. These include transsexual; cross-dresser; transvestite; consciously androgynous people; genderque...
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Bigender
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I've come out to myself as bigender. I have a few questions for people that I hope will spark as discussion:
If anyone else here identifies as bigender, how did they figure this out? What does it mean to them? How do you manage -- and how shoud I -- manage this without going crazy or risking getting my ass? I'm a biological male, and I'm getting weary and stressed from suprressing my femininity SOOO much. How do people think this relates to one's sexual orientation? I know that gender identity and sexual orienation are independent, but there's definietely some overlap/interaction between my bisexuality and my bigenderism. What are coping strategies that people have? I'd like to hear from anyone who's anywhere on the gender identity AND sexual orientation spectrums. Thanks! Posted on 05/11/08, 01:05 am |
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im bi-gender and it took me a while to figure my shit out, but eventully i realized what i really was. im girl but i like being a guy too, im working on getting more muscles and getting facial hair. you just need to be who you are or its going to end up killing you. it dosent always have to relate to your sexual orientation, but most it does. im a bi-gendered lesbian. its irritating not changing fast enough, but itll be worth the wait. 
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I hear that! I have had to suppress my feminine side for 30-some odd years (have always known)... I don't deal with my stress about it very well...(too much to get into right now)... but hey, we're all in the same boat, and as far as gender identity and sexual identity... that's where i'm REALLY off the track... i don't feel "gay" in the proper term... (I'm not attracted to guys), BUT being a guy is a constant torment for me... so huh....
and yes Anarchist... it does nearly kill one not being able to persue it fully... for fear of rejection bu those you love.
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I began crossdressing this past March. My feminine side just decided that it wanted to express itself this way. She even has her own name.
As I began to read up about transgender issues, I came across the term bigender and it just clicked with me that that's what I am. Like you, I am bisexual and also bi-gender. For me, what that means is that I love being both genders. I don't want to be all one or all the other. I love having a cock and all my masculine sexual energy (in addition to other male qualities). But sometimes I like wearing breastforms and feeling feminine and being girly. I prefer terms like trans or bi-gendered as opposed to crossdresser. For me, it goes beyond clothing or sexual fetish. It's a whole other side of me. And she's helped me to have more love and compassion for myself (because I have it for her). My frustrations come from not being able to express my feminine side to the degree I would like in public, in my social circles, etc. Since I'm not out to my family, I don't dare to wear pink or girly t-shirts or anything feminine in public. Sometimes I'll wear something under my clothes, though--a necklace, an anklet, a toe ring, panties, etc. No one else can see it, but I know it's there. I'm lucky to have a lot of GLBT friends through the local pride center. My lesbian friends let me come to parties as my female alter ego and it gives me an outlet to express that part of myself. I highly recommend looking up your local pride center and seeing if they have a transg group or even just a general discussion group. As far as sexual orientation goes, I think bigendered could apply to anyone (as I understand it). Eddie Izzard is a comedian who performs in drag and has been a crosdresser since he was a teenager, but he's heterosexual. And I'm sure there are people who identify as strictly gay/lesbian who are bigendered too. And then there's us, bisexual bigendereds--or bi-bi's, if you will. LOL. No matter which way you look at it, we have the best of both worlds. As I've already mentioned, my coping strategies include crossdressing in private and expressing my feminine side with GLBT/GLBT-friendly friends. I also listen to music that I consider femme, read girly fashion mags, etc. And my female alter ego has her own myspace page where she blogs. That has been a major outlet to express both my joys and frustrations with being bi-gendered, the burden and the blessing of it both. Feel free to message me if you want to talk further. That goes for any other bigendereds and/or crossdressers as well. *hugs*
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my personal belief is that everyone has a fem side and male side to them. its how much of each side that makes a difference. my male side tends to be a tiny bit more than my fem side. so if you are not ready to come out as gender queer or "bigender" you can always use that as an excuse to celebrate your fem side a lil. but if and when you are ready, remember that you will always find people that are ok with it and people that deff are not. as long as you arent throwing it in anyones face you should be ok.
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