Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. For example, if one's mother dies and one's ...
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Ex Partner - Keeps Calling /texting, Emailing
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Hi All, I am at a loss end here. I have been living with my partner of 3 years who has 3 Boys (16 from one relationship) (10 & 13 from another relationship) the oldest is fine I get on famously with his mother, his new step father and of course him. As for the mother of the (10 & 13 year olds) for the past 2 ½ years I have constantly received abusive text messages, phone calls and emails from the mother the boys behavior is pretty bad we have the boys every second weekend and half the holidays. We have not seen the boys since the weekend of the 25th April 08. Our weekend was last weekend (Mothers Day Weekend) and it was also the 13year olds birthday. We were under the impression we were going to have the boys for Friday/ Saturday and return them home early on the Sunday. Well on the Thursday night we call the 13yo to ask were he wants to go for dinner Next minute…Mum gets on the phone I have organised a family dinner with my family tomorrow so you will not be having the boys. We decided to make light of it (this happens all the time) so on the Friday I come home at 7.45pm and called his Mobile to be answered by his mother pretending I have called the wrong number. Last night my partner gets a call from the mother saying she is dropping the boys off on Friday (We have arrangements this weekend that can’t be broken) the mother was well aware that we were not able to swap weekends. My partner said No we are unable to have the boys this weekend the next thing I get these phone messages and text messages. This is untrue what she is saying and I have no idea what is should or shouldn’t do…….
14/05/08 – 7.05 Telephone: (Very aggressive Manner) I don’t think the last message went through and I wanted to make sure you got it. Don’t you ever get into my sons head @ 2.00am in the morning when you are drunk and say XXX gets upset when the boy’s don’t come over. Its Crap!!!!!!!!! I haven’t brought it up before but I am so angry because the boys thought XXX wanted to see them because it was there birthdays. Right!!!!! You guys are a bunch of losers and if you ever get into my sons head at 2.00 in the morning when you are pissed I will go 2 Docs. 14/05/08 – 7.30 Text: Please do not communicate or wake my children up when you are drunk and feed them with lies you are not the carer and you obviously not stable I have documented it and reporting this to child support, what you are doing is very dangerous to their minds. I look after the boys 24/7 and care about there well being. Grow Up Posted on 05/15/08, 03:05 am |
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Either you have or you need to get a court order of visitation. Also a order that she not speak badly of you in front of the children.
Then you stick to the schedule. You do not ask to switch weekends nor vary the time of pickup or delivery. Then if she does not adhere to the order she cannot complain that you don't either. Then if f she violates any provisions you find onerous: First you have your attorney write her a letter quoting the penalties of violating a court order. Then if that doesn't work you take her back to court for a violation of a court order. The court's take a dim view of their orders being violated. When she is convinced of the danger of violating a court order this behavoir should end. But you've got to be pure in action also. Then, say in a year, you can tenatively explore cooperation with her. As to messages I sent a note via U.S. mail telling her I refused to accept any messages via any other means. No phone, no text, no notes with the children, no verbal messages via the children. This requires everyone to stop and think rather than react. At first she tried of course and I ignored them, even if it was approval of something I wanted. Only if it came by U.S. Mail. You can easily make this person realize you're not going to play her game by simply not playing it. Stop reacting to her negativity. 
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WE HAD THE SAME , BUT WE STOPPED AWNSERING HER CALLS AND WOULDNT REPLY TO TEXT MESSAGES.
YOU NEED TO KEEP A DIARY OF EVENTS AND TIMES THATS SHE IS HARRASSING YOU AND YOU NEED TO GET PROFFESIONAL ADVISE. WE DONT HAVE ANY CONTACT WITH HER NOW , BUT THE KIDS ARE OLD ENOUGH TO ARRANGE THINGS THEMSELVES . THEIR MUM EVEN TOOK THEIR MOBILE PHONES OFF THE AT 1 STAGE SO THIER DAD COULDNT HAVE ANY CONTACT. MUM SOON BECAME FED UP , BUT IT HAS AND SOMETIMES STILL IS VERY HARD TO GET ON WITH OUR LIVES.
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change your number! and then follow the rest of advice you have been given here, but change your number!
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I guess the good thing is that you don't have a problem like this with the oldest child's mother. :)
I agree with changing the number. I wonder if maybe she is trying to set you up. If you never called either child at 2am (drunk), saying bad things to them... perhaps she is trying to get a trail of text's to bring to court, showing that she is trying to protect her children from you. I would be sure to document when she has made these phone calls/texts so that if she does provide them in court, you have your documentation as well. She is clearly crazy and someone you must protect yourself against. Good luck with that crazy woman! Again, luckily, it is only one. :)
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