What is Single Parenting

A single parent is a parent with one or more children, who is not living with the child[ren]'s other parent. The legal definition of single parenthood may vary according to local l...

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The "girlfriend"
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My daughter's father and I have been seperated for many years, I do not have any "romantic" feeling for him at all. Our relationship is civil, (he lives out of state) and he does genuinely care for our daughter. The problem is that he lives with his on-again off again girlfriend and her 12 year old daughter. It just really bugs me when he is having a conversation with her in the background if I call. I know this sounds petty, but I find it annoying and disrespectful. She is much older than me, and has always envied the fact that he and I had a long term relationship that produced a child. It even annoys me that they have pictures of my daughter on their refrigerator. Has anyone else felt this way? That you dont have feeling for the father anymore and have moved on will your life but hate the girlfriend?
Posted on 03/30/07, 08:03 pm
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Reply #1 - 04/02/07  4:57pm
" You may think that you've moved on, but you haven't. It was incredibly painful for me when he moved on to 'Poptart' as I called her. =) I couldn't stand it! When my kids would bring home new little items that were from her, or tellme about outings that she was on etc... He never moved in with her, but again I placed it in our parenting agreement that there would be no-livins that were no related - hence he has to marry her or she's not there. She hated me for the same reasons that you cited. I gave him two kids.
Here's the thing. You have to truly 'let him go'. In your heart, emotionally and spiritually. Once you do, you will be able to focus more completely on moving on yourself. There will always be an 'ick' there when you know she's in the background, and she's spending tiem with your kids. If she's good to your daughter, then be grateful for that. If she's not, then fight to keep her away from your daughter. That's the extreme but simple truth. If you have no reason to take him to court to get her away from your daughter, she's probably not a bad person. If you can see she's not a bad person, then maybe you can begin to accept her, and accept the fact that he chose her.
That's a huge step and alot of tears. Once you've gotten though that though, it becomes easier. Start focusing on you and your needs. Take care of yourself 1st and you'll find that you aren't so annoyed with that situation over there anymore.
Ok - that was long-winded, but I do know exactly how you feel. It will pass, but you have to work on it and let him go. "
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Reply #2 - 04/05/07  9:08pm
" i come over here and your here!? Kerri... My ex was married twice after me and stills pursues men. This woman has had four divorces in her life. I was the advisor to two of her exes. Didn't like 'em 'til after we talked. We realized where we fit in. Haven't talked to her in a couple of years and don't miss it. We have a daughter and figure it out on our own. You may not hate the girlfriend but resent her.
'onourown' has good info. It still hurts though. When ppl are impressed with my daughter i say 'i guess i did something right'. But i am prejudiced... "
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