What is Single Dads
This community is dedicated to fathers who are going through the parenting process alone or without the support of a spouse. Single parenthood may occur as the result of many thing...
Join Now
|
POLL-post divorce/split accomodating
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts Ignore |
I am really at my wits end. I know two things.
My ex ONLY wants the kids to show them off as they're great kids, almost like pets. She LOVES the extravagant lifestyle she leads at the hands of MY checkbook. She puts herself CONTINUOUSLY in front of the needs and basic necessities of the children. She does things to keep them from me, on purpose thinking she's hurting me, when in fact, the only one she's hurting is herself as the kids can start to resent how she's treating them when in her care as well as her pawning them off most nights when she'd had them anyhow... for me to find out later on about it. OK that's three or four. Everyone says that the relationship with the ex is to subside after X number of months/years, etc. One, I needed to let this out, but also has anyone else had a just completely difficult time in dealing with an ex you MUST "share" custody with because, sorry if anyone takes offense to this, and maybe I am saying this because of my CHALLENGING life as a "co-parent" with someone I'm technically parenting as well at times, the courts and judicial system really are favoring women in the end of a marriage as if, the man has nothing to do with raising the children? What about being head's of household, as well, spiritual leaders in the family, basic CAREGIVERS and providers, as well as nurturers? I'd really just like things to be semi-normal, communication open, and stop thinking your hurting ME with the kids, it's frustrating, but in all reality, the kids are the true victims in all this nonsense. When will it get easier? * seperated for 14 months and divorced legally for 8 mo. Posted on 06/22/08, 11:06 pm |
| 1 Reply | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts Ignore |
JTGPP,
I don't know if it will ever get easier. I also agree that even though I get hurt by my Ex's actions, the kids suffer more than I do. I am an adult, so I can process the pain better than they can. They don't understand why mom won't spend time with them when they are over at her house. They have told me MANY times that "Mom is never home when we are there". My kids spell love: T-I-M-E. The only thing I can figure is that she has this "Mom Identity" so she must have some type of custody with the kids. However, due her co-dependency issues, she puts her friends before her children. I have been preparing to be a single dad for the last 5 years. That was when the Ex started her midlife crisis. Since then I have become the primary care giver to fill the void that she left. Prior to this we were probably equal in the care giving, but now I would say that I am at 80%+. The time blocks where she is supposed to have them, I usually end up seeing them or having them with me. Or she is having a problem with the kids and has to call me for advice. I am thankful that I still get to be a part of their lives even when they are supposed to be with her. I enjoy having my kids with me. I know that they are being taken care of properly. She knows better than to try to pawn the kids off on someone else with out asking me to keep them. The kids wouldn't stand for it and they would give her all kinds of grief about it. And she can't deal with the kids fussing at her. She gives in 99% of the time. I do feel the pain you are going through. You and your kids are in my prayers. 
|
|
|
|
||
