Single Dads Support Group

TW, first, I agree that documentation is terrific. 2nd, what if your kid is documenting, his mother goes to put laundry away and fings a notebook, etc?
3rd. Putting your child in the middle of this opens him up to so many trust issues beyond what you're going to have to undo should something terrible happen. Plus, an adolescent's mind cannot think rationally like an adults. That's too much unnecessary stress for any child at any age no matter if you think he is mature enough to handle it. Let him vent to you, you document it, without him knowing you are. You cannot and should not pit the mother against the child which is as it appears here. I understand our needs to protect our children, I have an issue I am sorting out now regarding an issue similar to this, but know take all the necessary precautions you can, avoid, getting people at your work invovled in your personal matters, albeit advice is meant never to harm, in this case I have to strongly disagree with involving the child.
As well, certain state laws do not dictate verbal and/or emotional abuse to fit in the perameters of real abuse and/or neglect (not feeding him, denying him medical attn., cuts & bruises on him). This is going to be hard to deal with, minus time. Lastly, check with your states Friend of the Court laws. If there's a significant reason for a child to request to live with the non-custodial parent, I'd perhaps investigate that avenue. best to you.

I appreciate your input jt.my son and daughter a few months ago started telling me of unusual punishments at the moms house.I asked my ex to talk but was and still am told she has no reason to talk to me.She told me this through our children.Her hubby has serious control issues and does not understand that my input is supposed to be involved in every major issue.I am gathering my own notes and my son came to me with a list of things the step was doing to him that he thought was strange..I didnt ask him to get involved this way but now that it has begun I have to deal with it...first step is to legally make the ex speak to me and answer to what has been going on in her home.I wish I could just keep him in the dark over this and deal directly with my ex wife,but she won't speak at all to me...I thought if my sons notes were legally documented,I wouldn't be accused of adding my point of view to the facts.thanks again for your concern and advice.

I wouldn't involve the kids. if she chooses to communicate through the children to you, let her. Send her certified letters to talk to you about the children by X date. if you're not getting anywhere with that, you have your own documented proof she won't communicate with you.

I personally keep a journal of things that happen between my wife and I. I was divorced before and was am told even now that doing so really helps out. It dosent matter how little of minut you may think it is, write it down. I agree with "what happens when mom finds the writtings". Keep it yourself. Talk with him and find out what is going on. But keep the journal