Shyness is a feeling of insecurity that certain people experience while being among others, talking with others, asking favors of others, etc.
Shyness is most likely to occur...
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Putting on a false personality
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Do any of you feel like the way you're viewed and the way you feel are completely opposite? My friends would probably describe me as loud, outgoing, very talkative and intense. On the inside, I am extremely shy, self concious, terrified of getting close to anyone and quite lonely. All my life I've put on a "fearless" act to compensate for my shyness, and I think it's created a wall between who I actually am and who I'm perceived to be. Because I put on an act of being talkative and outgoing, it's hard for me open up to anyone. I have lots of people I consider friends, but I'm not very close to any of them because it's so hard for me to be myself. I'm 20, I know I'm not hideous, but I've never had a boyfriend or even dated for that matter. I'm in a sorority, I'm very social, know lots of people, but still no guys seem to be interested in me. I know it has something to do with this wall I've put up, but I have no idea how to put it down! I'm just afraid of getting close to anyone because the truth is I'm so worried about what people think of me. And since everyone thinks my outgoing, talkative act is the real me, no one assumes I'm shy, and just moves on to someone who is either very open or atleast willing to admit they're shy! Does anyone else have this problem? How do I begin to unravel this mess?
Posted on 08/20/07, 10:08 am |
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I understand. I just talk a lot most of the time to people I know, so they won't ask me questions about what is going on in my life. Then everyone thinks I'm ok, and not sad... but its not true. I don't think anyone knows who I really am, and that sucks. 
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i would say im the complete opposite sometimes. I feel like i can just jump into convos and group situations then when it comes down to it i back out. so i am seen as some guy who rarely says anything
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i know how this feels.... everyone thinks of me as an outgoing gurl that is fun and easy to talk to. i have even taken on the "councillor" role to them. they are quite unawares that i am the one that should be councilled. but this is my 'image' and i stick to this. it makes me feel safe and people dont ask about my real situation. ive spent most of my waking moments creating this 'cool' person but im shrinking inside. if you need to chat to somebody im here for you ox
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It might help to start being yourself around people. Start with the people you know the best and start with sharing some
personal information that you are only mildly afraid of letting out.You will be amazed at how fast people will warm up to you. They will say to themselves I can relate to what she is saying I can trust her with some information of my own. Practice sharing some details about your life with more people all the time, when they share some information about themselves try to relate it to your life. People will share the level of conversation you are putting out. p.s. Have you showed any guys that you are interested in them? I have done this and it does pay off!!!
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you sound just like me... when i meet new people its like this persona takes control of me and im suddenly really hyper and weird, i mean that is part of me but sometimes i tend to over do it without realising at first, i have friends but i dont have really have any REAL friends who i can be my complete self as im scared of rejection, but my avice would be just to take each step at a time and try and find something that you can relate to in that person, as for not having a boyfriend or goin on dates, im the same, im 17 and havent even had a first kiss, but just try and take everything in your stride, if it happens it happens... good luck xx
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I put on a fearless act to compensate, I fully admit that. People don't believe when i tell them my real feelings: that I am shy and unsure.
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I agree I created a Mask sometime ago. Worked became lawyer got married etc. But cost me my mind now better and mask is filed.
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