Shyness is a feeling of insecurity that certain people experience while being among others, talking with others, asking favors of others, etc.
Shyness is most likely to occur...
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My Story, Please Help
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Hi Everyone, I just joined & I hope to find the help I need here as well as be of some help to others.
Like so many others say, I've been shy my whole life...as far back as I can remember it seems everyone has been judging me. I guess I have a terrible level of self confidence because I have always had people making negative comments my whole life, from my biological mom, and then nurses in a hospital I spent a year in when I was little to my foster mother, teachers, kids, and now other adults. I have no problem talking to people on the phone, very rarely will I ever feel uncomfortable in that situation...cause they cant see me! But, in person it is another story. I don't like my smile and feel self conscious to smile...I walk around with a frown all the time, I hate my voice...for talking and singing. I can't think of things to say, but even when I do say things, like ask someone a question about themself there is something that happens, I sound stupid or something, or the look on my face is weird..I don't know, but the other person never seems that interested in talking to me...I also have trouble talking loud enough and because of a hearing problem I'm always asking people to repeat themselves. I hate speaking to more than one person at a time, I avoid social situations and on the odd time when I can't avoid them, I sit around and don't talk to people or find ways to sneek away...that sort of thing...i've even run from the room and crying and hid in the bathroom when a bunch of people where singing silly songs and I was put on the spot to sing. Anyway...I know this probably sounds terribly whiney and yet there is more, but I will let it go for now. Please help! Posted on 07/11/07, 01:07 pm |
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Hello. nice to meet you.
I have also been shy for my whole life it is so hard to break out of it isnt it. Maybe you will feel a bit better having somewhere where you can talk about it? I feel that it has helped me, although I still have a long way to go. Try to stop making yourself feel so bad for being shy. After i have reacted badly to a situation I sometimes make myself feel so bad and keep playing it over and over in my mind.. but it just makes me feel even worse about myself and less confident. Sounds like maybe you do the same thing? 
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wow looks like something i would write literally word for word! instead of running from the room in a panic I feel as though im going to pass out and excuse myself from the room and then sneak out to safety. So i know where your coming from an you are not being whiney at all.
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I used to hate having to talk to people face to face too, but the job I was at lacked variety. So I went and worked the front desk at a hotel...I've been doing it for a year and a half now, and it has done wonders for my social skills. I feel like I can talk to anyone now!
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I can relate very well to your story sinceI have acted in similar ways though out my life.
One thing that has helped me immensely is using techniques which raise my level of self love and acceptance. Though studying different self help books I have par taked in different exercises which help me feel better about myself. I found that the more I talk to myself in a positive and accepting way the better I feel and the more courage I have for facing social situations. On top of that I am constantly on the lookout for ways to be more effective in social situations.
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Hey don't worry about sounding whiney on DS. For the most part, people understand that you're just looking for help that you're not finding elsewhere. Okay so with your problem(s) you didn't say anything about your friends or anything. Whenever I feel awkward in public I like to have one of my friends with me so I can talk to them, or so they can talk for me, etc. It's just nice having someone there who you know and everything. Since you didn't really ask a specific question that's about all I can say for now. Anything else, message me :]
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I usually beat myself up after an incident related to my shyness. The important thing to remember is that you can be happy and shy at the same time. I think there are things you need to work with yourself on, like your confidence level. Being put on the spot is enough for me to rip myself to shreads because I'll probably blush or something. That stays with me for a while but try to remember that others forget faster than you do.
Good luck, we're here!
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i kinda know what you mean when i was little i was outgoing an happy... then i got adopted and had my outgoingness beaten out of me. my mother took every oppertunity to make me feel like i was nothing. i began to fade in middleschool, cuz the people at school were cruel and my family was worse. i have severe social phobia.
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