What is Shyness

Shyness is a feeling of insecurity that certain people experience while being among others, talking with others, asking favors of others, etc.

Shyness is ...

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Tired of being in the backround
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For so many years of my life, I have been comfortable in the backround, only having 1 or 2 close friends. Now that I am single again, I am feeling lonely. I want to be noticed now, but I have no idea how to do it. I am so afraid of looking stupid to people, so I tend to just blend into the backround again. Anyone have any suggestions? I know support groups is one way to start, but not available in my area as I live in a very very small town.
Posted on 05/06/08, 06:05 pm
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Reply #1 - 05/07/08  12:35am
" I have no suggestions :-( I used to gets drunk when I went out because otherwise I was so miserable because I was so shy just being sober and felt really left out. Not anymore because I'm engaged anyway ... but yeah. It's definitely hard. I feel for you! "
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Reply #2 - 05/07/08  1:05pm
" Before you can expect anyone to notice you, you need to try to work past your negative thoughts. If you are constantly in fear of looking stupid to people, you'll never be able to work past that boundary and actually try to get out and meet new friends.

I know how hard it can be to break out of your shell (I still struggle with it on a daily basis), but you need to try to change your thought patterns and realize you're NOT stupid, and people should be HAPPY to know the wonderful person you are!

By that, I don't mean become all conceited and snobby, but rather; focus on something positive about yourself. Focus on WHY people should get to know you, and try to work on those negative thoughts and feelings when you have the opportunity to go out and meet new people.

I wish you the best of luck; I hope this advice helps a little, even if it's not the best. "
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Reply #3 - 05/07/08  2:34pm
" I know exactly how you feel! I feel tired of being in a crownd and feeling lonely and invisible...but I know that is a reflection of me and my self esteem! I think the key is to just keep going and keeping looking....eventually something will happen to change the situation xx "
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Reply #4 - 05/07/08  2:49pm
" Hello, you could try a totally new look, i had the same problem, or get some exercise, join a gym, it's helped me a lot, and also the friends you have might not give a dawn about you, if they did why don't they try and help you, that was my problem my so called friends new I had a shyness problem but they didn't make any effort to help me, all they did was make fun of me and make me feel that I was different and was not one of the crowd, try finding some new friends, if they are genuine friends they they should help you, believe me I know. "
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Reply #5 - 05/17/08  6:26pm
" I echo many of the responses on here. I agree with DeniseJS. All it takes is a positive attitude and belief that better things are ahead. It can be hard when you don't get the immediate results, but its important to continue trying and hope that things change. Good luck "
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Reply #6 - 05/17/08  11:45pm
" Living a "very, very" small town may make any type of socializing tough. That said, I don't think support groups are what you need right now. You need to find some social activities that interest you. What I mean is if the activity is something you enjoy regardless of the social aspect, it will make interacting with the people there that much easier. For example, if you enjoy sports maybe you can find a local softball team to join. "
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Reply #7 - 05/18/08  12:46pm
" I understand exactly where you are coming from. I just got out of a 2 year relationship and I have no idea how to live without him. Right now, I am trying to work past negative thoughts and put a positive outlook in my head, that if I think im acting stupid just laugh. :) "
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Reply #8 - 05/20/08  10:27pm
" I know how you feel, and am also feeling lonely, wanting to meet new friends. after losing a couple of close friends, i am looking to meet new friends as well. the best thing to do is to have a positive approach to meeting new people, and feel good about yourself. joining a class, or club could help meet people. "
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Reply #9 - 05/30/08  5:23am
" Its scary coming from the background to being noticed! My life is changing so much and I’m scared at what may happen. I'm very shy at meeting new people, but once I warm up to people and get to know them, I just be myself. I think it’s just the first getting over the who's who and getting to know each other.

Also, in the back of my mind I'm thinking that people are judging me and its true, people do judge you, but they are wrong to do so especially when they do not know me or what I have been through in my path of life. "
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