What is Shyness

Shyness is a feeling of insecurity that certain people experience while being among others, talking with others, asking favors of others, etc.

Shyness is ...

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I've just decided to join a support group and have found there are so many here at DS that I relate to. It's a comforting thought that I am not alone. I've been shy as long as I can remember and maybe even have a social anxiety thing, I'm not sure. A good example is that: I'm afraid I will not get anywhere here. I have no friends and have never been good at putting forth the effort because I lack the ability to communicate with others the way I feel I should. Or rather, the way I feel others expect me to. I constantly feel I am being judged before I even open my mouth so that when I am prompted for speech I have no idea what to say or how to say it. If I do find the words to respond, such as "yes it is a beautiful day", I can't keep the conversation going because I am so nervous about how I am being perceived. Then I realize I must look uninterested or bored with the conversation and it dies anyway. I cannot get past myself in order to talk to anyone at all comfortably. It is a bold move on my part to actually post a topic and/or respond to someone else's. I say this because I've wanted to but never can get the courage to type it out. I have to think alot about what I say and analyze how it may be taken so as not to offend anyone or come out wrong, or display myself as an idiot. I hope someone will tell me I'm making sense and that I am not the only one who feels this way. I am tired of dealing with this on my own and have been trying (unsuccessfully) to force myself to think differently so that I may actually be able to make a friend.
Posted on 05/06/08, 08:05 am
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Reminder: This is a support group for Shyness. We trust you will do your best to remain positive and helpful. For more information, see our rules of the road.

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Reply #1 - 05/06/08  12:53pm
" Vicarious, you came to the right place. You are SO NOT ALONE. Take solace! "
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Reply #2 - 05/06/08  1:28pm
" Hi and welcome to DS, there are so many of us, join in and chat to your hearts content, we all love sharing our problems and motivating each other, so get in to it, it's a great comfort to know your not alone, write to me anytime my name is Martin X "
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Reply #3 - 05/06/08  5:16pm
" You do make sense! I think all of us can relate to what you just said. I just joined a couple weeks ago and I was amazed at how many people are like me. Welcome vicarious! p.s. your hamster is sooo cute! "
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Reply #4 - 05/06/08  5:32pm
" Welcome!
: ) "
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Reply #5 - 05/06/08  6:26pm
" Welcome, Vicarious. I hope we're a safe place for you where you can feel free to be yourself. "
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Reply #6 - 05/08/08  11:57am
" vicarious,please know that every one here at ds is here to help,listen,laugh or cry with,i only joined here maybe 2 months ago,and i have made so many friends,i am also shy and what you have posted rings true with me also...........always here to listen.....try to have a great day.....so sorry about the passing of your mom and sister. "
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Reply #7 - 05/08/08  5:18pm
" Yes, you make perfect sense. Like redrose9 said, I think we can all relate to what you've said. You've put into words what I did not have the words to express before.

Congratulations on your post! "
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Reply #8 - 05/08/08  6:59pm
" you described me exactly. . .But you can change it just takes time and effort. I'm at the point where I actually start the conversations now and have my own opinions no matter what anyone else says. :) "
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Reply #9 - 07/03/08  2:27am
" thanks so much for posting this. i feel like every word could have been written by me and i love it when that happens. my 5 yr old got her leg out of a cast a few weeks ago and told me she was so wobbly because her 'balance bone was broken'. i often feel like my 'talking to anyone but myself' bone is broken. i guess the trick is finding ways to mend it. thanks again for your post.
scott "
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