Shyness Support Group

Hm. Well I don't feel more confident, but I do often dress down. People have asked me if I'm a lesbian because I'm always wearing baggy jeans and such - so lame. Anyway, I just figure fuck it. It's up to me to decide how I feel about myself, and I'll dress however I want. If you want to dress up a bit more trying wearing some tight jeans but with a sweatshirt. One "part" at a time, do you know what I mean? A nice shirt with sweatpants.. etc.

How about one day u pick a pair of comfortable jeans and a nice shirt,nothing flashy but your size and try it out. No matter what u were you will still get noicted..don't make yourself drab cause in the end you are only hurting yourself.Let me know how things are going for you...good luck with all.

I feel that way, but I still dress up. However, I often hide my smile or my eye contact because I fear that will attract more attention. I also do this in my behavior... I don't act as strong and confident as I could because I fear intimidating others. Perhaps, I a just have a submissive personality (that just occured to me).
Anyhow, I think you have to ask yourself... what will happen if you get more attention... then keep asking why to every answer spawned. I think it boils down to some percieved threat and when you can pinpoint that (the threat you percieve/what your really afraid of) you can acknowledge it and decide whether to embrace the fear or confront it.
Also, when it comes to wardrobe you can dress in a flattering manner without wearing short skirts. So maybe you have made the issue too black and white (i.e., short skirts and stuff like that or loose & daggy stuff). More than less can be best... just don't go overboard with daggy more... try sophistication. I like to wear blue jeans, nice blouse, and heels.
Let me know how it goes. I am curious to the answer to: What will happen when you get more attention?

Best Wishes!

i do the same thing. i secretly want to wear different clothes, and wish i was more self confident to get away with it. but i wouldnt know what to do with any compliments or comments that i continue to wear my loose fitted clothing because it allows me to slip thru unnoticed.

Hi Schelle,
Maybe you could start with something small if you want to change your look. Like maybe new shoes that you like or a new pair of earrings.These might attract a little attention but probably not too much.

Hi, I do the same thing...I always feel like I'm being judged, so I dress to be inconspicuous. I'm very self-conscious.