Shyness Support Group

Counseling has worked for me somewhat and I also take a low dose of Lexapro. A friend of mine was also very shy, she found out she had cancer and it was strange. It was like the cancer gave her the confidence to be herself. Not that I would wish anything like that on you but it all has to do with how we think about ourselves.

Counseling has helped me a great deal.... my counselor has given me a new view point on things. Like for example, before counseling, I used to jump the conclusion that everyone I talked to thought of me negatively (ergo I never talked to anyone) and with the help of my counselor I was able to put my thoughts into perspective and realize that people realy weren't thinking all the horrible things I guessed they were. Just don't go to counseling believing it will be cure-all, realistic expectations are best.

While I have yet to try counseling for my shyness, I am a firm believer that oftentimes, people may need an impartial party to talk to about their problems and feelings. Friends and family are great, but a lot of the time it's nice to have someone who isn't directly involved in your day to day life; someone who can view your feelings with an unbiased viewpoint and help you work through them on your own terms.

Hiya , yeah you got the same problem as me, I keep trying my hardest to change and make an effort but always seem back down at the bottom of the ladder, I have come to learn that I think it is the type of people you hang around with, bad company etc, my so called friends don't try and help me at all, all they do is run me down with comments about me that I don't want to hear, they give me no encouragement and embarrass me in front of other people, try finding some new friends, it's working for me, good luck and let me know how it's going, my name is Martin X

For me, exposing myself to feared situations, and trying to 'get out there' only started to work once I had started dealing with my negative thoughts.
If there is a voice in your head telling you that you are a miserable failure, then even if you have perfectly good social skills, you are still going to feel like a miserable failure

i wish i knew what to say but my negative thoughts won't let me come out of my shell

congrats on all the effort you've put in. just doing it shows a lot of courage on your part. i have tons of trouble meeting and talking to new people so i admire that you've been doing that. what helps me is to not care so much or judge myself so much on what i say or the other person's reaction. someone wrote in one of these discussions that much of the time when you start to practice this stuff you're learning mostly what not to say. i think one of the biggest differences between outgoing people and shy people is that we both say about the same amount of stupid stuff, but the outgoing people don't let it bother them. anyway, congrats on all your great work.
scott
ps i've been reading about people in ds boing to shyness support groups in their area. i'd love to find one in jersey. does anyone have any suggestions how to track one down?