Shyness Support Group

I used to be extremely shy and awkward in front of people, mostly through high school and beginning of college. However, about 8 months ago, I decided I'd just had enough and decided I was going to make some changes (sort of like the "just do it" thing you were talking about). I quit smoking, started training for a triathlon (thus joining the triathlon club at my university), got a puppy, and started venturing out and just doing more stuff. I failed quite a bit at first, and I'll admit I was somewhat socially inept from being so shy for so long... But I just moved on and kept consciously attempting to enter social situations that before had made me anxious and uncomfortable. Eventually, you learn what works and what doesn't, and that in the end, being more social is a lot easier than it seems (your shyness is really your mind making up excuses not to do things because of its fear of being hurt) and you CAN change... that's the beauty of it!

I completely agree with the last post. You don't really overcome shyness, you learn ways to effectively manage your behavior and thoughts so it doesn't control your day-to-day life. As with me, I got to a point where "enough is enough" and decided to deal with it head on. I wish there were some tricks or shortcuts but they're not. Gradually you find your comfort zone and things aren't as bad as it seems. Hope this helps.

i have i use to be so shy that even when girls would throw them seves at me i wouldnt do anythin or talk... not like anything would happen because i dont like sex without love... but now when a girl shows intrest in me i can do something like talk... now i am just working on me make the first moves and me starting a conversation with a female...

It's so true. My shyness stems from a lot of things, but I have realized that it is up to ME to work through it and take the risks needed to change. As the saying goes, if nothing changed there would be no butterflies!

I am working on taking small, doable risks each day and it's not easy but BOY do I feel better about myself. At least, now I do... hopefully this continues! Sometimes my moods have a mind of their own, but I have learned that not everything needs to be controlled and done PERFECTLY. I am working on being more patient and understanding with myself, first and foremost. That is the biggest challenge for me right now.

The Nike slogan is great (Just Do It) and along with it goes a non-judgmental stance, or else I dig myself in really deep. Thanks for letting me rant!

BTW, Gemini, I'm also a Gemini! Yay!

I'm 37 and definetly got into alcohol and pot as a young teen because it was a way to bond with people and loosen my inhibitions - that got me nowhere after a long time and I ended up isolating with the pot. I thought it helped with my shyness but it just left me with a big problem and not feeling good about myself or learning how to cope well with life.

After being clean and sober a few years, I am living life as myself with "anasthesia". For so long as a shy person I have done jobs that were extremely outgoing, before and since sobriety. I have always been artistic and enjoyed a lot of acting jobs as a background actor off and on for many years, and I was even an exotic dancer for 10 years. I think in having many many types of jobs, I mean many (mostly temporary), it forced me to be able to talk to all kinds of people. I even teach now. I am still very shy. I mean accoring to my jobs people don't believe me, but privately I think I let people reach out to me and I am lonely and isolated a lot.

If it weren't for branching out and trying new jobs, and doing things like going to school which sort of forces you to interract, I don't think I'd have the skills I do to accept the jobs I do. For me to be able to get up in front of a class and sometimes know what I am doing, is amazing when I think about how I used to try to numb myself to cope with how I felt, especially in regards to people. I guess going to 12 step meetings today is a way I am able to be comfortable around people, get out of my self centeredness and realize most of us feel insecure, and to try to think of what I can offer to someone instead of what kind of impression I am making or if I am acting right.

Correction - what I meant to say is today I am living as myself "without" "anesthesia". For so long I did things the opposite of my personality with the help of the drinks and drugs and today I am living with a bit more balance - I can feel good about myself and know that we are all just people and take ourselves lightly and try to learn to have fun - we need role models and also to respect, honor, appreciate, value and be grateful for our own personalities.

I'm still shy, but I'm slowly getting over it. It all stems from me starting to not care what other people think of what I do or say, so not caring what people think of you anymore would be the place to start. If that doesn't work, confront the problem head on because it won't go away/be successfully managed if you don't.

As a kid I was so shy that people would ask me if I could talk. I would try to respond to people with a minimal amount of words. I have gotten books out at the library to help me. I have worked on overcoming my shyness pretty much on my own. It took me a long time. Now today, I am still a little shy. It has taken me years to get to where I am at now. I am still working on it each day. Sometimes when I find myself clamming up from the shyness, I will try to tell myself to stop and just try to enjoy myself. It is hard. But like I said it is something I am working on each day.