Shyness is a feeling of insecurity that certain people experience while being among others, talking with others, asking favors of others, etc.
Shyness is most likely to occur...
|
Shyness is my curse and it's ruining my life.
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts |
It's not helping me pick up the pieces of my life. Let me explain.
I have always been really shy around girls/women, so much so that I never kissed a girl until I was 21. I met the love of my life when I was 24, well she met me actually. She was extremely extroverted, like the exact opposite of me. What she saw in me I'll never know. For the next seven years, I led a happy life with her, didn't have to worry about my shyness around women problem because I had a girl and was no longer worried about never meeting anyone. Then she died. Yeah tragic, I know...that's not why I am here. Don't get me wrong, I miss the hell out of her but it is what it is. I find myself lost yet again with the same fears I had before I met her. I think I'm ready to move on but my shyness holds me back. I'm a skinny guy, 6'0", 130 lbs and I don't think I'm ugly but I'm definitely not attractive to most women based on the skinny factor alone. For those that are attracted to skinny guys, I've been told I'm "hot" but I have never seen it that way. Thank you low self-esteem. I'm not oblivious to the women that do hit on me but I freeze and I can't do anything about it. For example, I have had 3 very attractive women in the last 6 months that have come up to me in bars and literally hung on me. And I stand there like "duh," unable to talk to them. Actually the reason I'm pretty depressed right now is because my shyness let another slip away tonight. I was in this store looking at a product and realized I needed a cart. As I turned to go get one, this woman was walking towards me and smiled an obvious smile. We went down separate aisles and met at the end and she smiled another obvious attempt again. We both walked towards the front of the store, me to the carts, her putting her coat on waiting by where I had to pass to get back through. And I did nothing. A quick glance and look away, and she leaves the store. What the hell is wrong with me?? Why is this such a problem for me? I don't get it. The more this happens the more miserable I become. I don't even know where to begin to overcome this. For those that have bothered to read this far, any advice? So sorry for writing a book on my problem, it could have been longer :) Posted on 04/12/08, 01:04 am |
| 1 Reply | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts |
Hi,
I have been shy all my life too, I continually analyze myself and somehow know how to cope with it. I found out that I am most shy when I think I am not knowledgeable about certain things that people generally talk about i.e. sports, politics, etc. and I go in a bit of a panic mode thinking I don't have anything in common with them. Like anything practise makes perfect. I focus on the issues I'm most shy about talking and read more on that. I talk to people over the internet to help me practise have a conversation with people. I think for you it's about starting a conversation with people so I think it would help you if you start chatting over the internet just to practise your conversation skills then later on you'll have more confidence in starting a conversation with other people. Relaxing is key, you can't be confident when you're not relaxed. When you are not relaxed you don't see things clearly...you see the bad things that are bound to happen when in fact they may not happen. So learning to relax is a good thing to learn. While it seems natural for other people, for people like us we need to learn. I realized that my upbringing contributed a lot to my shyness (I had a very nervous mother who worries about everything like health ettiquette and being considerate about other people's feelings while my father was very critical of everthing and was very intelligent). But I have accepted this and even think it contributed to my being kind to everybody and being great at my work. I also read books or listen to audio book CD's about meditation, prosperity programming (try "the Secret" by Rhonda Byrne and don't care about what most people say about it...it has helped me a lot on my outlook on life). I'm still shy but I keep working at it like anything you want to perfect...take it as a new hobby or sport you want to perfect and practise getting better at it everyday...I look at my shyness as a challenge rather than an obstacle or handicap. I hope this helps. Lala PS: Here's a link to a meditation audio: http://www.mediheaven.com/the-secr... Too bad they now charge for it, I was able to download it for free one time. You might want to try the other free stuff they have. I listen to the "Secret Garden" once in a while... it helps me relax a lot and even fall asleep after listening to it. 
|
|
|
|
||
Don't know where to begin, but I hope you can bear with me. Ever since I can remember, I was never much for words, …
One meeting me would never guess that I suffer shyness (anxiety). I can go to groups of people and converse with them. …
Most of us in the dailystrength.org shyness community seem to be separated by far distances. I've seen postings from …
