Shyness is a feeling of insecurity that certain people experience while being among others, talking with others, asking favors of others, etc.
Shyness is most likely to occur...
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What Do You Say When...
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What do you say when you have run out of things to talk about? I don't want to ask questions that might be too personal, and one can only talk about the weather or other innane topics a limited number of times before that topic loses its appeal. Even here on this website, I can't think of anything to type, other than an infrequent comment on what someone else has said.
I think that once upon a time there were these things called "icebreakers," that is, comments or questions designed to get conversation started. An icebreaker might be a humorous remark, or a question such as, What's your sign," "Do you come here often," "Read any good books lately," or similar tripe. People don't seem to use icebreakers anymore, at least not in any form that is recognizable to me. Maybe it's because I don't frequent drinking establishments. In our divided society in which people belong to their insular groups based on ethnicity, race, religion, economic status, et cetera, any and all topics are risky because they are all "controversial." I walk on eggshells around everyone because everyone is instantly offended by anything that is said aloud by a member of another "group." As a member of no group, I find silence the only answer, silence that is smothering and killing me slowly. I've often been told not to talk about religion, politics, war, current events, or anything similar because doing so will get some people riled up or hot under the collar. True, there are some people who can't control themselves in conversation and will become hostile towards anyone who has any opinion. So I have to "shut up." The only safe remark that comes to mind for me is, "I have no opinion on the matter," so that I don't end up with a figurative or literal black eye. Questions that are not permitted in a stupid multicultural society are numerous. I say stupid because multiculturalism is stupid. It really is nothing more than saying we have a divided society in which people belong to quietly warring groups, each group fighting for tion, jobs, schools, favoritism under the law, special privileges, and special rights. Is that controversial? No doubt. Our world needs a whole new bunch of icebreakers, or a whole new openness in communicating. When interpersonal communication breaks down, societies have internal wars and strife, and then societies dissolve into warring tribes. I don't want to fight internal warfare. I have strayed a little off the starting topic. What's a safe topic to talk about that won't start a war? What topics are not too personal? What can be said that won't be offensive or hurtful or insensitive? Posted on 01/13/08, 06:01 pm |
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After the traditional greeting how are you. I like to find out about peoples hobbies and interest. Of course if I am at work the obivious question is where are you from ? Then I go to the next boring question. What is the weather like there. If they mention a family member and I have time to chat ( not often) I will ask about their family. Sometimes I comment on a piece of jewerly. 
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The early stages of a conversation with someone you don't know can be a bit dull and formulaic, but that's the way small talk often is.
I like to ask people about what they are doing over the weekend, what they did over the holidays etc. This can give you some information about their family, interests etc, and this gives you more things to talk about. Generally people like to talk about themselves, so if you can ask people about their children, or a special interest of theirs. From this, you may find interests in common you can talk about. The weather is also a good topic, even if it's horribly cliched. You could ask people about movies they have seen, or ask if they saw a particular programme on TV. Light entertainment programmes would probably be a better place to start than current affairs, until you have a better idea of the person's opinions. See what sort of questions the other people/person ask you, if they ask about your job etc, ask them about theirs. I find it difficult to start up (and continue) conversations with people I don't know so well, but I'm going to keep practising. Good luck!
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I have found that when you are focused on what to say next, it never comes...the biggest (and most important thing) is not think of what to say just get out and get as much experience you can. If you run out of things to say move on to someone else.
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